Starting from a comment Viola Bleu posted on one of my writings, I began skating the internet (I don’t surf because I don’t know how to swim), to get more insights about this idea that we are becoming what we’re surrounding ourselves with. Why is this happening? It’s happening because whatever we have around us becomes familiar and we like familiar things. The more familiar they are, the harder a change can occur. Most of us don’t like change and if we have a negative mindset, a positive change can create negative emotions.
We’re like water. If we’re hot water and we encounter lots of cold water, we’ll start to cool down as well. But if we’re cold and we’re surrounded with hot water, we’ll start to warm up. Imagine being the only positive person in a room and you’re stuck with five negative ones. What do you think it’s going to happen? They will become more positive or you’ll become more negative (I know that if your energy can overcome the other five, you’ll be ok, but let’s assume you all have the same level of energy)?
Lots of successful people say that they had to let go some people even though it was hard because they felt they couldn’t evolve in that environment. Imagine trying to run while having your feet tied to a big rock. You could barely go forward. But if instead of a big rock, you are tied up to a big rocket? You will not run, but you would f*ckin’ fly!
I believe we should be careful about what we’re surrounding ourselves with. The big rock might be the useless things we do all day or the negative people around us. The rocket might be the books we’re reading and the things we’re hearing and seeing.
No matter how clean the water is, if we start throwing sh*t in it, it’s just a matter of time until it becomes a sh*tty water!
If you look around, how satisfied are you with your current environment?
Great analogy .. with the water cooling down or heating up.
Before my self esteem course, I often referred to myself as a cushion, in that “I took on the imprint of the last bum that sat on me”. I heard this years ago and agreed that I never knew what I wanted or never made a decision and stuck to it, choosing instead to leech onto others’ choices.
But then two years ago a big hurdle came in the shape of a mid life crisis, a mountain to climb, a ravine to cross… refer to it as you will. I needed help. Emotion and profressional help (not, it transpired, the well-meaning ‘advice’ of so called friends).
Having endured 26 weeks of counselling…. and I say ‘endure’ because picking off a great scab and digging around effing hurts and so many give up at the first sign of discomfort… I learnt so much. About other people but more importantly about myself. Taking responsibility, or at least some of it, for any of the negative places we find ourselves in – not only geographical – is the first major step in the right direction to discovering your self esteem which, by the way, is completely different to self confidence 🌸
Yes, there are two different things. We can have a high self confidence that we’ll screw things up because we have a low self esteem. From pain comes change… we never want to change things when they go well, we want the change when we’re hurt. Thank you for your insights about this! It gives a perspective to the idea!
what if the water is never clean lol
Then we need to add lots of clean water 😛
I agree with you. It’s really important to surround ourselves with the right kind of people and environment because sometimes we encounter such people or situations who just fill our lives with so much negativity that we just start loosing ourselves without even realizing it. They suck out all the positivity from us and we just don’t understand what’s happening with us. That’s when we need that one last positive ray of hope that is fighting from all that negativity just to save us. And when understanding washes over us and the fog is cleared, we clearly see the problem.
Exactly. And when we have lots of negativity that we cannot ignore, we need to overcome that with positive things. In the end, it might be a quantity game.
Maybe it’s the quantity game but what if it’s about the power we give to that source of negativity over us. What I meant is that if we just met some people a few days ago and they are not the very best company for us to keep, we just kick them out of our lives without any hesitation. But when someone very close to us is like that, we get blinded by their love. We don’t recognize what’s beneath their mask and it becomes very hard for us to save ourselves from such people. Maybe it’s not about the quantity everytime. Sometimes it can also be about who we decide to guard ourselves from. Just a strange theory in my mind😬😬. What do you think about it?
It makes perfect sense. My idea was not about the external quantity, but the quantity we’re letting in. 🙂
Oh.. thanks for explaining. I agree with you. Always love your work. Keep posting on such amazing ideas, they always spark thoughts in my mind😊😊.
Thank you so much! I’m trying my best to find interesting ideas 🙂
Best of luck 😊😊
Thanks! 🙂
Good post. I would go further to press your analogy forward. We’re aren’t “like” water. We quite literally are water. The general rule of thumb is that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time around. Likewise, our brains run similarly to computers. What programs we put into them determines the results we get out. It’s sobering to think about sometimes, but there’s merit in it if it prompts positive change.
Yes, thank you! 🙂
I agree with your post. I have always known it to be true, but it is extremely frustrating when you know you have bad people in your life and you are forced to stay around them. I used to cry every time they would get mad. They had a hard day and it would be taken out on me. It makes you crazy and hate yourself when you get cussed out for things you didn’t even do.
Love this, that’s something I’m working on now, changing my surroundings. I want more positive people in my life although most of my time is spent with my kids still when I’m not with them I want to be around like minded people. The irony in reading this was the part about flying instead of running. I was just telling my kids that in my dreams I don’t run I float and fly. Lol, like each time I go to run from something in my dreams I actually start flying and sometimes it’s so fast I almost crash into things lol. Anywho, have a great Monday!
Thank you! I love the fact that you love it 😀 If you’re working on it, don’t stop no matter what as long as the idea is important to you!
And those people shitting where they eat. The world is sometimes a total cesspool.
Yes, and the question is: what are we going to do about it (inside ourselves or outside)?
I for one never shit where I eat, but I try and advise others against it.
I’m so glad you wrote about this because I really needed to read these words today. I know, for me, I cannot be around negativity. It takes a toll on me and I literally feel drained when I’m around people who are always negative and trying to kill anything that’s positive. Very wise words!
Thank you! Most of the times, people around us are not even trying to kill what’s positive… they just don’t realize how negative they are and how people around them are affected.
You’re very welcome! You are so right about that.
I really love the water analogy . Great post. Now following!
Thank you so much! 😀
Great post! I strongly agree with this.
Apparently, people are used to live in the shitty surroundings. You give them the taste of heaven and they think its a sweet poison! They pay scant heed to what actually is eternal joy.
Thanks again! I like your comparison here and you’re right. Sometimes this happens…
sad reality!
Indeed – it’s kinda along the lines of what I said in the other comment. Also someone said that we are an average of 5 people with whom we spend the most time with. Or something like this 😉 I totally agree anyway.
Sadly, I also had to let some people go from my life in the past. Some temporarily others permanently. After all, we are in control of how we want to spend our time and as hard it is to let people go I believe it’s worse to be stuck where we don’t want to be.
Yes… if we’re thinking at the long run, we would be better of without them and they would be better off without us.
Trying to declutter and be more mindful of purchases