We all have thoughts, right? Good thoughts, bad thoughts, crazy thoughts, kinky thoughts, sh*tty thoughts and so on. So as long as we’re all thinking, why wouldn’t we do it thinking about great stuff?
It seems that we’re becoming what we’re thinking about most of the time. That’s why our surroundings are so important… whatever we have around us determine the way we think. There is some science behind this. Our thoughts are based on brain activity, right? So the more we’re thinking in a certain way, the more often that part of the brain gets activated. The more activated it gets, the stronger it gets so it would be easier for that part to be activated again. It’s like walking through grass… the more often you go through the same place, the more obvious and imprinted that path would be. Next time you go in a field and you see a path, what would be easier? To follow that path or to create a new one?
If we’re thinking positively, in time a strong positive path would appear and our mind would rather take that one instead of creating a new one. The same thing applies with the negative thoughts. And because of this, it’s very hard to change our thinking, but practicing daily, a new path would appear and consolidate and the old path would slowly disappear because it won’t be used anymore (the grass will take over).
How’s your path? Positive or negative?
I’d say both for me. I work hard to be positive, but negativity is part of the experience too. Nature of the beast.
I guess that without negativity we wouldn’t know what positivity means.
That’s true. And some of us just have some wonky hardcoded programming to work around.
I try and always choose positivity. I am optomistic by nature. Only occasionally, the black clouds creep in.
It’s natural for black clouds to creep in from time to time. If you’re optimistic by nature, I think you have a positive mindset and you’re seeing the good things most of the time. 😀
At this juncture in my life, my thoughts are scattered but way more positive than negative ones. I try to stay away from people that may push negativity into my mind or heart.
That’s a very good approach. How do you manage the times when you have to deal with negative people?
I remember I only have to be around them for a moment. They have to live with themselves forever. I find solace in knowing I do not have to be around them long. I feel pity for them in the fact they must carry that weight. I let them have their moment if that is their only release and I don’t take it personally. Because 9 times out of 10, it is never about me they are feeling some way based on things going on in their life. I can understand that.
Over the years my thoughts or happiness would jump or fall depending on my surroundings. If people were mean or negative I would feel bad and negative. I eventually tuned the world out and found a safe spot in my mind. The world still has it’s ups and downs. I would say I am neither high no low just somewhere in the middle, and after the ups and downs it’s a comforting place to be.
I believe it’s a healthy way to deal with things. Trees bend when there’s wind, but they always go back to their state after the wind is gone.
I hadn’t thought of it that way but I know over the past couple of years I had to learn to bend. I used to be so rigid in my thinking that anything would have made me snap. I still don’t see all sides all the time but I am more flexible.
That sounds like a real achievement- I am very sensitive about other people’s moods and actions which really effect me. How did you learn to tune out?
I grew up an very abusive home and back then I would simply escape in my mind. Like I really dove into TV because that reality was better than mine. It got me through those years, but I was still really sensitive to other people’s feelings.
About eight years ago I realized that most of the people I dealt with were narcissist and they would put their anger and issues on me. If I didn’t do what they wanted they would get mad or they would throw a tantrum. I learned that when a kid has a fit you don’t give them what they want or they will keep being bad. I learned you step over the child (or grown person) who is crying on the floor and ignore it. They will eventually realize their games won’t work and they be normal again. While ignoring those who were trying to bring me down I would do something to make me happy. I started by watching a lot of Katt Willams. He made me laugh and made me feel better. He talks a lot about haters in his earlier work and I needed to remind myself that people will hate me even if I’m kind so I can’t worry if I’m liked or not because hates are simply going to hate.
Thank you for your candid advice. I am so desperate for everybody around me to be happy, even when their behaviour is far from perfect. I find I blame myself and construct stories around how I could be responsible for their behaviour. I will look up Katt Williams. Thanks again!
It’s easy to blame yourself when others do. Just remember the only person you are responsible for making happy is yourself.
I remember being on a training course once and they made a distinction between ‘responsible to’ and ‘responsible for’ in terms of other people. It’s an interesting one to reflect upon!
Can I ask what the difference is or how it relates to you?
I believe in the power of positive thinking, I’m generally a positive person (though we all have our moments). One thing that strikes me as interesting is, so many people label feelings as either positive or negative. However, feelings are neither right nor wrong, they just are. It’s how we respond to the feelings that are either negative or positive.
I agree. Feelings are neither right nor wrong. They are related to the ways we perceive different situations so if we think that a situation is threatening, we’ll have negative feelings.
I nominated you for an award. https://wp.me/p9gz3u-nq
I hope you will participate because I made some questions for you that I would love to read the answers.
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it! I’ll find time this week to answer your questions 🙂
Looking forward to it.
I’m a fan of balance – if I generate negative thoughts towards something (let’s say the mad overgrowth of the flower bed) then I have an impetus to not only weed that space but change my thinking to liking that space better. Tools and perspective are rarely black or white.
I agree, they’re not black and white, but maybe the rule 80/20 applies here 🙂
Perspective and what you do with it – it’s my “go to”. I’m also notorious for “silver lining” seeking.
Nicely penned.
I agree that life depends on perspective and perception of it.
I am a type of a person who believes that the end of the world will not come, but “if” I have a bunker ready 🙂
Being prepared can’t hurt (most of the time), but it means that we should keep an open mind, not a predefined scenario based on our biased perspective.
Yes. We can try to do that but I think there’s no way to outrun a biased perspective. The only hope is to broaden it.
Well, when there are more perspectives, there can be a better understanding 🙂
That is exactly it
😀
I am a optimistic person but sometimes when circumstances around me are not favourable, I start doubting myself and everything else as well. And negative thoughts creep into my mind.
Hmm… interesting. Why do you think you start doubting yourself and not the circumstances?
I guess it’s because of the thinking that circumstances are something that I can’t control and self doubt is an easy approach to put the blame on.
I understand that blogitwithrameen
Our path is shady lol
It is, isn’t it?
ALWAYS, and will always be shady that is no lie
Lots of squirels