On a scale from zero (rocks don’t feel anything) to 10 (I have liquid emotions instead of blood), how intense do you live your normal days?
On a scale from zero (rocks don’t feel anything) to 10 (I have liquid emotions instead of blood), how intense do you live your normal days?
What is “normal”? When I’m not in the middle of an episode, I’m pretty laid back but motivated to create.
What do you like the most to create?
I crochet a lot, and I mostly make afghans, toys, decorations, and sweaters. Sometimes I’ll cross stitch something pretty.
I would say most of the time I live right in the middle. I don’t get real high or low and it makes life easier for me. When I was going through my healing though my emotions were cranked up to an eleven or higher. Seriously, I remember one time the pain was so bad that when it stopped I realized it was freezing in my house. I didn’t even know it was cold because the emotions completely consumed me.
Do you remember what caused that pain?
I went through an awaking and healing journey where I met someone which triggered the wake up call. Now that is not to say he was the cause of my pain. Think of it like someone drilling for oil. That person didn’t put the oil in the ground he simply released it. When my pain came up it was stuff I had carried inside of me since childhood. That person didn’t give me the pain just helped me to release it. There were lots of different triggers that forced that pain to come up. I would have to sit and think about it if you wanted a more specific answer, but basically anything that was always hurt inside of me and made me feel scared, unloved or insecure came up over and over and I was forced to work through those issues.
How do you feel now if the pain is released. It hurts, I know, but anything else besides that?
Well, I’m not in pain at all anymore because the pain has been released, but when I was in the thick of it my heart would feel like it was going to explode, it was so raw and tender. I would struggle to breathe because the pain seemed to be crushing me. There were times when it was the most intense feeling in my chest/heart and other times I would feel a complete void like my heart and soul had been scooped out and I was nothing more than an empty shell, but that emptiness was incredibly painful and scary because I didn’t know if I would always feel this way. It was completely out of my control and the only thing I could do was surrender to it. I will say there were so many days when I was praying just to get through it, to survive another day because I knew I had to survive. In the beginning they would hit me back to back with it and the only way I could kinda ground myself was going outside and being in nature. For a year I hated going in the house because it felt like it only amplified my pain. I’m sure there is ever more I could say but it’s kinda like childbirth after awhile you forget how bad it was and are just thankful it’s over.
That must have been very tough. Since you survived that, you are a badass!
I don’t really feel like a badass. I won’t put that on my card or sneak it into conversations. ☺ I really feel like I was just tossed in the deep end and it was sink or swim, no other option so I had to do it.
4 :-s
That’s pretty good.
Yeah like Brenda said, what’s normal??? Lol, I’d say I’m pretty level headed and chill on my “normal” days maybe a 5 or 6
So you’re pretty much in the middle. 🙂
Yeah pretty much
Good day about 7
Bad day 2 or 3 depends on cappuccino (not joking)
And if you look at your past month, you had more good days or more bad days?
Since it is summer i’m by the sea a lot… Mostly good days i think 🤔
That’s great! Give me an update in the winter. 🙂
Somewhere in the middle when I’m at work, and sometimes slightly lower. But goes up high after work and I spend time with my son. About a 9 to 10
So you really enjoy spending time with your son.
Absolutely he’s my everything!
I am a perfect 5
Great!
Yesterday was a solid 4 – safe, sane, sensible. Today is a quivering 9… The fun of a spouse being fired for no freaking reason!
Oh, but there is a reason… it might be too hard to realize it.
True – just a bit of slap from Fate.
The average day sees me at about 4 but there are days when I can hit as high as 12. That’s molten liquid emotions for blood!
It sounds like in those days your emotions have emotions.
Being chronically ill tends to make you want to extract the most out of each. Take nothing for granted. Being chronically ill also limits what you can do in one day. Sigh
That must be tough… how is that illness manifesting itself?
Kidney disease. It kicks my ass every day
Complicated question. If I answer based on how I feel at this moment, I’m at the lower end of the spectrum, most likely a 2-3. It’s environmental and situationally based as I’m in my summer hideaway, removed from society and my days are spent by the lake and on the internet. I’m told that when I’m in work mode, I’m fairly intense, and I think my emotional state probably runs 6-9. I try to keep things in balance, but I maintain balance by going on/of lol. Great question, I’ll have to think about this a bit more.
Great answer. Please do share the new insights 😀
🙂
9.5
It seems that you live an intense life!
I’m working on that lol
Since I’m ruled by emotions, I can go from relaxed to completely sad/pissed-off in seconds, which is why people tread lightly around me… So, I’d be on a 8 daily.
Emotions are tricky.
They trip me up sometimes. Like Wednesday I just felt extremely low all day, and pretending to feel good when you don’t takes so much energy.
I am a 8-9 most of the time
That’s intense 🙂
you have no idea
I’d say about a one or two. When I do feel something, it’s powerful because I’m not used to it.
So your days are not too emotional, right?
I rarely feel anything. Mostly, I behave how I think I’m supposed to. It’s odd. I feel the pain of other people, but nothing of my own.
It’s something my councilor and I are working on. They are teaching me appropriate responses to every day situations and helping me figure out how to feel about them.
I am a 20! (* cry inside all the time *)
Yes, you are :))
I guess mine is 10! 😂 Veryy intense!
That’s how it would seem! How do you manage those intense feelings?
I guess, detach?
You let those feelings out. And then live the moment.. and then you let go and get back to work 🙂