Life is full of circles so we have good times, not so good times and horrible times. These last ones are the toughest and can do the biggest damage. There is this saying in my culture that a great farmer is preparing him self in summer for the winter and in winter for the summer. This raised a question for me: Should we prepare ourselves when we’re happy for the times when we might feel horrible?
I believe this is a two-way street. When we’re happy and we think about bad times, we might switch that happiness to a sh*tty state and it’s not helpful, especially if we’re considering some specific moments and we’re imagine those moments. This is not helpful at all. In the same time, if we have positive feelings, we have a positive mindset so we can prepare some great positive insights. For example, what if when we’re grateful about something we write that down on a small piece of paper so we can carry it around everywhere we go? What if we’re going to read those pieces of paper the first thing in the morning so we can start our day with a boost of confidence and energy?
A problem might be that reading grateful things sometimes don’t help in hard times. If we’re having problems in one particular area and we are grateful for something from another area, we might still feel like a drown fish. For example, I can be grateful for the fact that I had an awesome vacation, but it might not help if now I’m facing some work issues and I feel useless. So I believe we can go forward with those grateful written messages and we can identify some personal traits that led to that. That vacation message can be something like this: I’m grateful for the amazing time me and my family had in this trip in the mountains. This proves that I am capable of getting where I want as long as I’m willing to do the hard work of getting better each day. I believe this is an example that includes both great experiences we’re grateful for and proofs that we are capable of getting them.
What do you think about this? Should we prepare ourselves for the times things get hard?
I like your question, as I find it very thought provoking.
I think a regular practice of gratitude helps to better prepare for harder times. If we practice gratitude as a preparation for harder times, it seems to lose it’s impact. A regular gratitude practice has been proven to help build resilience and a more positive outlook overall.
I can’t admit to having done this, personally. I have been trying.
Yes, practicing gratitude can set the mind to a positive path and we would experience fulfillment thanks to the things we already accomplished.
After reading your post i personally feel sometimes uncertainty is bliss. (By the way i love your posts.)
Yes, uncertainty can be blissful if we can truly accept it (our ego can stand in the way).
True
great post! I agree, we must protect ourselves even during our happy times, life is one big rollercoaster, with dips and sharp turns, loop de loops etc. We only do ourselves a disservice if we blindly and naively go through life unprepared for the worst; that is not to say that I go through life always on edge but I am realisic and know that it can’t all be ‘good times’. I consider myself an optismistic pessimist. lol Having some sort of fallback or safety to go to during our dark/somber times is actually quite healthy. For me; it is music, painting and writing. These are my tools to combat depression or if I sense that a low mood state is coming. My HS band director used to say “ignorance is bliss”, we can go through with blinders on and be ‘happy’ but then when are made vulnerable and weak during our ‘bad times’. I’ve been battling addiction and dealing with bipolar disorder. Recently, I had some family over and I bought a blank white poster board. I asked them to write, draw something for me, that was positive. I explained to them, “this would help me, when I am feeling low, so that I may look at this board and see just how loved I am.” And it may not always work but I think it is a neat lil tool to combat some of the negative situations or moods we may be placed in. Perhaps writing in a journal, or making a video of yourself during happy times would help during the low times, to see that happiness is right around the corner. PS sorry for the long response, hope it makes sense and thank you for this engaging and thoughtful post!
Thank you so much for taking your time to read my post and for share these valuable informations. I totally agree with you that we should have some safety nets. Writing and any creative tool can help us with dark times.
Ty and great response! 😎
yes, my daily gratitude journal and daily mindfulness meditation help me get through the hard times.
That’s great! 😀
Very thought provoking. We must definitely protect those good memories! Maybe during the horrible times we could think back to the good and bad and know that we are capable of surviving the bad times so that we may enjoy the good … easier said than done though!
Yes, it’s easier to be said… that’s why I think we need some help in remembering those things.
Interesting post!
If the ‘hard time’ can be anticipated then absolutley! Prepare! Preparation is the antidote to all fear and failure.
But if everything is going great, than why prepare for a hard time? To me thats just self-defeating.
Well, when things are hard, it’s harder to remember the good times and that after each rain the sun will come.
When my emotions were always fear or anxiety I would spend my days worrying about what was to come. The problem with that is I couldn’t enjoy the good times because I was too focused on the bad. I also was creating a lot of stress and anxiety for no reason at all. Nowadays I live in the moment and I ONLY focus on what is in front of me, I stay 100% present with it be it good or bad and most of the time the here and now is good and life is better because I’m enjoying what I’m doing instead of worrying.
That’s great! Keep going!
Ofcourse we should prepare for the hard times but not by being worried during good times but by fully living and enjoying it. Memories are not created with emphasis but by default by simoly living life as it comes.
I totally agree! Being prepared without being worried is a great way.
Since we do live the human experience, we will have times where we may feel defeated or when we loose a dear loved one, we will feel lost and grief. Our emotions change as we go each day. But I believe if we live each day with a feeling of gratitude and not get consumed by the hard times that do come, life gets manageable. Having a strong support system of family and friends helps us get through the rough times.
Yes, the support we have can make a great difference. And when we don’t have that support from outside, we have to find ways to support ourselves.
Hi! Thank you for following my blog – I read your post and would like to say that I agree that being grateful is a wonderful state of mind to hold on to and can certainly help shine a light when times get dark.
Thank you for your insight and I look forward to reading more posts from you!
Thank you for following back and for taking your time to share your thoughts! Please feel free to share them anytime! I love reading comments from you guys just as much as I love making the posts.
Balance. It’s the magical word. Yes, enjoy the good times, make sure that you are present in those wonderful moments – don’t focus *at that time* on the dips you know will come. At the same time, you don’t burn through your entire savings or retirement to enjoy that time. You know that you’ll still need to eat, pay rent, etc.
Emotionally is different – at least being bi-polar. Becomes sometimes that “top of the world feeling” is SO strong, you can’t imagine or even understand how you felt bad about this thing or the other. The reverse is also true. I’m going to have to say that when you can, look at your positives – you write well, you’re multilingual, you have a family that loves you, you can go on vacation; and build from there.
Balance and focus are the elements we are looking for. I guess that the focus is not always helpful when the balance is titled more to “hard”.
I think that’s where the practice of gratitude and looking at the gifts in your life; even when you’re not at the “hard” end of things, is critical. It becomes a habit, so that you can regain that balance.
Just want to touch on using gratitude to assist us during difficult times. Gratitude always works. Ultimately, there are only two choices in life – Fear or Trust. You can’t be fearful and grateful at the same time. But, you need to be grateful about something in the present, not in the past or future. Gratitude is mostly about the present, as that’s really all there is. You can certainly prepare for the future, in whatever way is necessary, but you can still be grateful if you honestly think about things.
I agree with you. This is tricky because when we’re down, it’s hard to find something in the present to be grateful about.
prepare for the worst and hope for the best in all situations I think it we are prepared for things to go wrong it isn’t as hard to cope and deal with as never preparing.
This is an interesting approach. I agree with you. Only the idea itself that we are prepared for hard times can reduce some tension.
I think you’re onto something with this. I have always written a gratitude list to read later, but when I read it there’s no help from it. If I put the other part in it, I think it will help.
Try it and let me know how you feel!
This is a good thought. I think the key is balance. Proverbs 27:12 says, “The shrewd person sees the danger and conceals himself, But the inexperienced keep right on going and suffer the consequences.” It’s wise to prepare ourselves for hard times but that shouldn’t be our main focus. For instance, it’s smart to have a savings account for unexpected expenses but you can’t put all of your money in a savings account because you have bills you have to pay today and every month. We should do what we can to prepare for life’s unexpected curve balls but not so much that we forget to live each day to the full.
Yes, exactly! 80% of our time it should concentrate on the present and 20% of the time on the past/future.
Very much thoughtful….
It is life n things are uncertain here either good or hard times…
No time resides more than what the destiny asked it to. It is same as night and day… one passes to let the other take place.
Every other person faces the hard times in way or the other or may be even harder than someone other. When hard time is holding on to you, the most important thing at this time is the way u respond to it, widout dwelling on the problem, moving forward to the solution.
I have given my views on WHAT TO TELL YOURSELF DURING A HARD TIME. https://siddiquizee.wordpress.com/2018/11/08/what-to-tell-yourself-during-a-tough-time/
I will appreaciate your opinion on my thought.
Thank you for sharing this! It is very helpful!