While I was mining through my mind for something to write about, a certain situation came through. A few months ago there was this time when I went for groceries with my wife. It was such a sunny and beautiful day, but I felt like sh*t inside and I caught myself having the following thought: “I hate this beautiful day.” I’ve told this to my wife and she was like “WTF is wrong with you?” and it made me ask myself the same thing.
Actually, it was not something wrong. I had a hard time because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and because of this lack of goals my anxiety level was higher than an elephant (you know, it’s hard to fit an elephant into a human). So I wondered what does this have to do with the weather outside. This question brought into my mind other situations from the past when I couldn’t wait to rain. Why? Apparently I was projecting my state into the weather. If I was feeling good, I loved the sunny weather and I hated the rain, but if I was feeling bad, it was the other way around. Whenever my inner state matched the weather, I felt something strange. I felt like my feelings were validated. I felt like I was understood.
For me it was true the saying that our reality is just a mirror for our inner state. When we have a filter on, we are searching for reasons to validate it and maybe to keep it.
“Oh, God, we are fascinating entities.” – Me
Have you ever experienced something like this?
Oh, great content! I prefer rainy days and nobody ever had understood that case. Its always was like a cleaning process for me deep inside. As a child I went out without an umbrella and let the raindrops fell all over me. I know that rain can release stress in my case while rain depresses other people a lot. For example my husband 😉 he loves those sunny days. If he will awake and outside everything is grey- his mood will assimilate to the wheather too. At the opposite if there are a couple of hot days I personally feel like burning out from the inside.
Sometimes the wheather provokes a lot. It is like a trigger. Keep on going with your overthinking! Good approach.
Thank you! It seems that even the most common things can have great influence over us.
I’m gloomy so i love winter when it’s all snowy and dark and quiet…
Hate summer because it’s so bright and sunny and cheery.
I love winter too, expecially because it’s not that f*ckin’ hot anymore.
That is such an interesting experience! I personally do have a connection with the weather but it’s not like your one. I find the rain healing, the sun exhausting and the wind powerful. It’s funny how it can have such an impact on us. It’s really great that you’re able to be self-aware enough to recognise this. Really interesting post 🙂
Yes, it is interesting how we can be influenced.
Sometime ago I decided to teach himself not to correlate with a weather.
Not to look into a mirror.
For me: too much sun is a bore, to much rain – too.
Easy come easy go.
Not to be a weather-slave just like not to be a money-slave.
(Not to be a glamor-slave)
I respect some poets who loved a fall.
A melancholy time. So charming to the eye.
Your beauty in its parting pleases me.
Just to cut thinking of Endness and life could be much happier.
Not to pity over something is a great help if you able to afford it.
myself of course 🙂 in first line
Of course!
We should use almost anything that helps us and that is not damaging ourselves or other people.
Hey! Interesting post!
I personally don’t believe that our reality is not necessarily a mirror of our inner state.
If I’m in a bad mood about something, and the weather is not so nice, then thats a coincident. Equally I can go out with my friends, be in a bad mood about something that happened at home, and yet I could realize that my friends and everyone around is just enjoying life and are in a great mood!
Nice post! keep it up. 🙂
Thank you! Sometimes we get stuck in a bad mood and we reflect it to other people or situations as well and that can be a problem. It is awesome if you can differentiate those things and approach them separately. Any tips and tricks to share here?
YES! You’re spot on! 🙂
What has really helped me, are 2 things…
1. Self-talk. Sounds a little weird, but its a great technique! Through self-talk your rational part of the brain (Neocortex) will start to override your limbic system. The limbic system is where all emotions and feelings originate. In your situation, when you felt crap (because you identified the lack of goals in life), you acted according to what your limbic system (your emotions) wanted you to do… you let out your emotion of ‘feeling crap’ on another person. The result is, you both ‘suffered’.
Through self-talk you start to examine the situation a little deeper. You literally have to ask yourself ‘Why am I feeling the way I feel?’. Your rational part of the brain (the neocortex), will then be activated and you can actually think of the real reason why you are unhappy. Once you know this, it only comes down to you being smart enough to knowing you really shouldn’t let it out on another person. 🙂
2. Meditate. Just another method to increase mindfulness. Through mindfulness practice, you begin to be able to regulate your emotions a lot better. In your case, instead of steering them towards another person, steer them towards yourself and prevent a conflict.
Hope that helps 🙂
Perfect! Thank you! I strongly believe in those too as well. Actually, I’m writing a book about this. I hope it will help with this.
Yep! Just a few weeks ago I was walking by my daughter as she rode her bike. Beautiful day. And everything about it appeared to be aggravating me. I knew in my head neither the day nor my current situation should have me feeling this way-but I just couldn’t shake it.
I know that feeling.
It’s annoying…which makes it worse right?🤦🏼♀️
Knowing it might ease things.
Great perspective
It definitely could have an effect either way if you do or don’t want to have to do work outside.
Yes, very true!
This sounds awful, but if I’m having a bad day, especially on a weekend or during the summer holidays, I feel better when it’s raining, because at least I know that no one else is having a great time either 🙁
If you have a bad day and it’s a great weather, you feel worse knowing that other people have a great time?
I do. I feel like I’m missing out on something. If everyone else is miserable, I know I’m not missing anything. Awful, I know, but honest.
I wouldn’t say awful. It’s just a defense mechanism.
If I’m particularly stressed or upset – nothing will cheer me up like a thunderstorm. I’ll go dance in the rain, I’ll shout at the skies, I’ll let all the rage and fury out. It’s so cleansing!
If it’s been hot – especially without a break – I feel like I’m staked out like the conch shells people put into the sun to push the animal out. It just wears on me, drags on me.
If we get snow – WhoooHOOOOO! I love it. Everything is pure and muffled.
Mostly, I just don’t like it when the migraine fairy and weather gods decide it’s time to kick me in the head.
I feel you. It is cleansing indeed.
My husband passed away in March when the weather was cold and gray with the final traces of winter. As spring began to creep in and we began to experience some pleasant days, I resented them. It made me angry that the weather was pleasant when I was in the midst of grief, when my husband couldn’t experience it. Fortunately those feelings have passed, but I have a strong attachment to weather, and find that it can influence my mood strongly.
I have a large front porch and I love to sit there through a thunderstorm. But I also enjoy feeling the soft evening air in late summer as the evenings cool, the early morning dewiness and pretty much any weather.
Thanks for your insightful words.
I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you so much for taking your time to share your thoughts. Weather is powerful and so are we.