How important is to know your friends and why is so important? I’ve watched this podcast where Vanessa Van Edwards talks about how important is to know your friends from a reactive point of view, if we can name it like that. We have multiple types of friends. We have the dream killers (as Mrs. Edwards likes to call them) which are those friends that love to point out the flaws in everything. We have the ambivalent friends which are those we don’t know if they like us or not and we have the cheerleading friends (as I like to call them) which are those friends that supports us in whatever we do.
Why is important to know which is which? It is important so we know when we should interact with each of them. For example, if we are a little down at some point in our lives, we need to meet with our cheerleading friends because we’ll find empathy and support. If we meet our dream killers or our ambivalent friends, we might end up worse than before. The dream killers are good when we have an idea we want to pursue. Spending some time with them can help us in realizing that possible obstacles we might encounter with our problems so we can get prepared. If we spend too much time with them, we’ll see only the negative side of our idea so it might die so we need to use that time wisely.
Apparently, the ambivalent friends are the worst because we cannot figure out if we want to meet them or not because we cannot realize if they like us or they’re superficial. I’m not sure if it’s about them or about us. Sometimes our self-esteem is the one that makes us believe they might not like us so it’s pretty hard to differentiate between when it’s our perception and when it’s their reaction.
We might argue that true friends are always there for us which is true, but sometimes we need friends that can point out our flaws too because we can learn only if we know when we’re not that good and in the lack of self-knowledge in some areas, the dream killers are welcomed.
What are your thoughts about this? Do you choose whom you interact with based on your mood/needs?