We all know that improvement comes from many, MANY tiny failures. In fact, the more we fail, the greater our chances of success (not always, but most of the time).
I mean, let’s face it. If someone is worse at anything than you, then it’s probably because they haven’t been through all of the learning experiences you’ve been through.
Let’s a take a common example most of us can relate to from our own experience.
A heartbreak.
We all know that after every heartbreak, which is practically a failure and a hell of a painful experience, we often blame our ex, but eventually, will start to look at ourselves a little more. From our self-assessment, we then begin to change some aspects of our own character. We tend to develop a stronger sense of self, become more careful with whom we trust, build greater emotional resilience, and once the pain fades, we live a happier life.
The same is true for failure. Every time we fail at something or have some sort of existential crisis we always begin to carry out a self-assessment and redefine some of our values in life all for the purpose of being better than before.
The problem is, is that many people are afraid of failure and tend to avoid it at all costs. Simply because they think that failure shouldn’t be part of their value system as this could make them feel worthless.
And I’m starting to think that it is largely attributable to our education system and helicopter parenting strategies, in which failure cannot be tolerated and is considered a sign of weakness rather than a valuable learning experience. On top of that, we have the mass media that only presents us with the greatest success stories of all time and celebrities whom we gawk up to, that are, in reality, just as clueless about life as a lobotomized rock.
You see, our perspective on life, people and business only radically change when we go through our worst moments and experience situations of serious adversity. These moments are commonly referred to as hitting rock bottom.
I, therefore, believe that it is really important that we learn to become comfortable with failure and f*cking up. Because every time we do f*ck up, we begin to pick apart our value system, re-assess it, and put it back together in a better and improved way.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Are you someone who avoids failure? Or are you a fan of it? And why do you think many people tend to avoid it?
that’s one reason why I try to make as many mistakes as possible. ..although i’m thinking trying to succeed may be better 🙂
Yes! Great to hear! And of course, succeeding should be the end goal eventually 🙂
Thanks for reading!
I’m the biggest fan of failures although I hate to fail, but i know it’s the only way to improve. I believe that people tend to avoid it because they are afraid to be judged. We tend to think that what we do and who we are is the same thing and when we fail at something, we can feel as a failure ourselves. I believe that a higher level of self knowledge is required to make a difference between ourselves and our actions and once we can achieve that, we won’t be so afraid to fail because we know that we’re much more than that.
Awesome post! 😀
Same here 🙂 Failures may feel a little crap at the beginning but are really just a wake up call to changing something.
Good point you make on self-awareness 🙂 Thats very true!
Thank you!
Great article. The fear of failure keeps people from trying new things. I was one of them till recently. Then I thought,” what the hell! Let me give it a go”. It has worked out well for me ever since.
It really does! Great to hear you changed that mindset 🙂
Keep it up! 🙂
Thanks for reading!!
Tbh, I think I’m used to failure. Most times I expect it. And when I don’t fail, you need to see my joy. But yh, it helps in self assessment.
Lovely article.
I tell my kids messing up helps us do better the next time
True true 🙂
Great to hear!
I used to avoid failure at all costs – probably an ego thing – but now I’m the opposite, I actively look for things I might fail at because at least I’ll know I tried and it’ll help to build resilience. Great post!
That’s what I think as well!
“I haven’t failed, I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Thomas Edison
I love this quote and I use it as much as possible.
Failure doesn’t bother me as it did. My go to.now is “What is the worst that could happen?” Usually, I just try again. Things like trying a new eecipe, making something I have never tried before, yes, I might lose the cost of the materials…. It is not the end of days. And sometimes it makes for a great story!
Yes, thats literally what I ask myself as well! 🙂
Great insights!
Thanks for reading!
Human brains cannot develop without taking risks. Failure is simply a way of learning. And in some cases, the most important way to learn.
What a great post! Thanks for sharing. <3
Thanks for reading!
Sometimes I wonder if failure and our avoidance of it is a reflection of the human ego’s need to always be right. We even want to be be right about being wrong. Turning wrong into right such as is suggested here seems to be more of that i.e. just another aspect of the same egoic need. Learning to know how to utilize this need is as you’ve shown the trick. That’s the process of accepting our shadow and using its energy for good.
Our ego certainly is involved in the hate many have against failure. Absolutley.
As you say, practicing how to utilize is indeed a great tip!!
I recently published an article explaining the nature of the ego and how we can successfully manage it.
Just click on my name ‘Max’ at the end of the article and you’ll see it! 🙂
Hi Max – I enjoyed reading this. I’ve argued some similar things and related it to games and education… agreed, agreed, agreed 🙂
Thanks! Glad we think the same 🙂
I have been one person who was scared of failures, mainly because, like you said, success and it’s importance is so ingrained in us, that we often tend to forget that it doesn’t come overnight for anyone. It takes time, work, fair share of stress and a string of tiny failures. I think it’s also because we’re living in an age of instant gratification and we want things done quickly because we have seemingly lost the patience to wait. Not to forget, social media is inundated with posts and pictures of people doing well in life, it’s not a platform where people like to show their struggles, very few do….seeing everyone succeed with leaps and bounds, without knowing the off social media scenes, makes us feel worse about our condition.
So the mindset and perspective regarding failure needs to be changed.
Absolutely! True words!
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
I am a great believer in the educational value of failure.
Failure is what led me to the wonderful world of blogging.
I resubmitted two articles to two different publications
Both rejected them. This made me think of starting my own blog and now there’s no looking back.
And thank you, I enjoyed reading this post.
Amazing! Badass move! Keep it up! 🙂
Thank you for reading!
I just scrolled up and read all the comments.
You sparked a great discussion.
I agreed with you up until this point:
“You see, our perspective on life, people and business only radically change when we go through our worst moments and experience situations of serious adversity. “
My issue is with the word “only.” My perspective and my life only truly radically changed when I felt pride in myself and my work for the first time. I watched it grow on the face of a friend, as pride for me and what I had accomplished fully dawned on her. it was but the briefest of moments