A few days ago someone asked me the following question: “Why should I go to a therapist? Why should I go to a total stranger to reveal my deepest thoughts and experiences? I have friends I can share whatever I want with!” I found this to be a pretty good question. Why indeed would we go to a stranger to be the most vulnerable we can be?
To answer this question I had to quote one of my college professors: “You cannot do therapy with friends and family!” The reason for this is because when emotions are involved, we are influenced by them so our thought process is not as accurate as it should. In our care about that person, we’ll hurry in offering solutions to the problems that person has, solutions that apply for us, not for them. Because we care, we want for them to be better (what “better” means in our opinion) as fast as possible so instead of guiding that person in seeking for solutions within, we’ll try to give that “magic pill” so the problems disappear. Since most of the time that won’t work, we might even get angry because he or she “refuses” our help.
Since the therapist is not emotionally involved, he or she can have a clearer mind so the thought process is better (assuming that person is a good therapist). As a specialist, it needs to stop his/hers own opinions about the presented problems so no judging will occur, compared to friends and family that will hurry in giving some judgmental affirmations. A therapist will try to explore as much as he/she can about our inner universe so the healing process is designed based on that, not on personal opinions. I think that all of these things are possible because the therapist is a stranger and because the therapist is trained in deep diving in our inner universe.
What is your opinion about going to a therapist when things seem to be harder than the own self?