On a scale from 1 (a worm is tougher than me) to 10 (Superman is my b*tch), how would you rate your level of self-confidence?
On a scale from 1 (a worm is tougher than me) to 10 (Superman is my b*tch), how would you rate your level of self-confidence?
Zero. But I can fake an eight.
Fake it till you make it! 😉
Damn right 😎
And then people ask you how you’re so confident and you’re like…uh…
What would you need to go from zero to 1?
To treat myself like a human being, maybe. And to stop letting other people treat me like I’m nothing.
What do you think is the reason other people treat you like you’re nothing?
Because they don’t value me and/or see me as a real person with real feelings.
Maybe you need break connection with those people? I’m sure there are others that don’t treat you like this.
Not right now there isn’t. I pretty much avoid all people to avoid getting into those situations though. A recent experience confirmed I am a terrible judge of character right now.
Depends on context and can change from one moment to the next. On average I’d say somewhere between 1-10.
Hahaha great answer! 🙂
Do you feel the extremes daily?
At the moment I do, yes.
How do you feel? Isn’t it exhausting?
Of course it is. It feels like I’m being operated by a cruel puppeteer and that puppeteer is called love. I’m being yanked back and forth with no mind of my own. I don’t hold any of the strings, you see.
It would depend on the situation but lately I’ve been getting more confident. I’d say a 6-7.
That’s awesome! How come your level of self-confidence increased? What changed?
The weight loss and going to the gym mainly.
If we you’re talking about life in general I’d confidently give myself an 8.
However, there will be always be situations where our self-confidence will suffer. That is completly normal.
The trick here is to UNDERSTAND THE FOLLOWING;
Many think that confidence comes from knowing-it-all or being particuarly experienced at one thing or another. Classic examples are things like job interviews, approaching a woman/man in a social situation, receiving a challenging assignment etc.
Many live under the impression that you need to be of a certain character or have the perfect personality to be really confident in life.
Yet we all know, that stuff like having all the answers, or being raised by ‘perfect parents’ is rarely true. We therefore assume that REAL confidence is something that doesn’t occur that often.
The KEY to REAL CONFIDENCE is counterintuitive. It’s about being OKAY AND COMFORTABLE with the fact that you’re not confident in a certain area of life. If yoou’re going through your first interview and aren’t confident, then you need to be comfortable with the fact that you’re unconfident.
Simply said, you need to be okay with being imperfect.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Yes, it is ok to be imperfect. Actually, I think it’s better because it leaves room for improvement. I think it’s important for us to know in what areas we are confident because we can realize where our strength is. The same with the areas where we lack confidence which indicates where our weaknesses are.
I will answer confidently usually about 6 most of the time other times around 8 or 9 and on occasion I will say 10. I love writing so 10 is what I feel like most of the time lately.
I am honest though and will have to admit to a 6 most of the time. The above was just mt thoughts running around wild and loose.
It is awesome if you have a 6 as your constant level if self-confidence 😀
Thank you so much for that info. I do try to be happy.
Violently swinging between 1 and 10 😆
Do you have daily swings from 1 to 10?
mostly between 2 and 9. but yea..
Nine.
That’s awesome!
I’d say a 5 (Monica Gellar from Friends, but not good with confrontation).
Pretty good. What do you think is the reason for not being good with confrontation?
It’s more that my body reacts to it like I’m having an anxiety attack. Hands shake. Heart races. Body goes numb.
Have you ever noticed what goes through your mind in those moments?
Not really. Just mostly wanting the situation to go away
I hit the full range in a given week. Whatever I put down now, it will be different later.
Did you hit the full range in one area of your life or you have different ratings for different areas?
A little bit of sarcasm, but my feelings about myself or the confidence I have can’t be trusted. That feeling changes regularly.
I’ll say about an even 7…somedays though my inner Hawkgirl comes out and then it’s watch out
That’s awesome! 😀
0. Unless on internet i’m a 4. I was a 0 on the internet until recently (meds for depression are working)
I’m sorry to hear about your depression. What triggered it?
Don’t know. Always had it. Nobody noticed till my social anxiety got out od control. I didn’t even know till i got results of psychology tests i took…
Interesting. Although it appears that some of us have some biological predisposition to depression, that doesn’t mean we will have it. It usually requires some triggering factors among with some factors that maintain that state.
School at five years old might have been my trigger 🤔 but my grandmother might have some mental illness but at that time nobody went for testing or anything. They still don’t…
Well, it might not be that important of what the trigger is. Can you look around yourself to see if there is anything external that keeps you in this state?
The state of the world?
Is it that important for you?
Well the Earth is dying, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Nothing happens to criminals while innocent people are losing homes because of an unpaid parking ticket… I’ll just browse the internet for cat memes to feel better
Ok, I got it now. So the problem is that all those things happen around us and we see it all the time and both of these two things are maintaining factors.
And you can’t just shut your eyes and cover your ears. To live in a bubble,
Yep. Fair point.
As you can clearly see by the answers so far that everyone’s confidence can fluctuate. This is because they understand that their self confidence is relative to the context of the situation.
Their role in the situation, their level of expertise or knowledge, the “opponent” (if there is one), the expectations. The likely result of said situation, other people’s perception of whatever.
Its easy to be confident if you have nothing to lose. Because there is a distinctive lack of fear.
I didn’t even give my scores, I just realised. I have self confidence of… whatever it is that other people have. I tend to just reflect or copy my “opponent” and match them in stubbornness, or the people around me so as to not stand out. It depends what I’m talking about. If I’m talking about other people, 8. Easy.
If I talk about myself? 1. Or 0. Or Fuck it, I am the worm and I’ll just bury myself further into the earth.
How come your self confidence is so low when you talk about yourself?
Because I’m scared. Of being judged.
That is a fear most of us face…
Exactly. It’s easy to hide behind the faceless crowd, to speak on behalf of the general public (which is actually no-one). But to speak out loud, stand up out of the crows and own it? That’s what’s scary. (But I agreed to do it because I felt I had to if I was to be taken seriously) you know what I mean?
Yep, I got it.
I love that people can differentiate between situations because they realize in what areas are strong and in which ones there is room for improvement. 😀
A solid 6.5, girls softball teams fear me but girls basketball teams don’t.
Well, the girls from basketball teams are taller and maybe that’s why.
I give myself a solid 9 for self-confidence. There’s a difference, though, between self-confidence and self-esteem. With self-esteem, I give myself a 10. The fact that I exist is enough. That is, until people enter the picture. Depending on the person, my self-esteem will fluctuate. I really need to stop worrying about what other people think of me.
Yes, self-confidence and self-esteem are two different things.
Since people are different, they’ll have different opinions so it’s impossible to be liked like everybody. Just like food… we dislike certain dishes even though others love them.
I love food.
It depends SO much on the situation. Most medical stuff, I’m a solid 9. Home auto repairs? Maybe a 2. Cooking – depends on the technique, but if it’s baking, I’m at 10. Writing – mmm… 7. Reading – 10. Interacting with most other people? 2….
You’re great at interacting with other people through writing 😀
Thank you. It’s “safer” to have the buffer of a computer. But I’m working on it. 😁
Ten years ago I would have said zero but now a good way into my 30s and slightly heavier than I used to be I feel empowered, so now I’d say I’m up to an eight
That’s awesome! How did you managed to increase your level of self-confidence so much?
I’m not sure 🤔 maybe tackling my ocd, certainly putting on weight helped. I was always a stick with no figure now I feel more womanly. Finding a partner who makes me happy and fulfilled. Bettering myself though writing and language learning. Just a few ideas that may have boosted me
7
Awesome! 😀
1 on most days. Three on my best.
What triggers the increase from 1 to three?
Hormones and situations of the moment. When I write, I’m a 7, when I edit, I’m a 2
That’s so sad 🙁
On an ego high I’m a 7…but lately depression quashes it
I’m going with a solid 8.75!
I’m a total BAMF, but sometimes feel the need to, well, not. But hey! even 2.25 is better than a worm, right?
Of course it is!
That depends entirely on the situation at hand. Usually, I would say I am an 8, but it can vary based on the circumstances.
That’s awesome! It depends indeed of the circumstances we’re in and I think it also depends on the topics we’re referring to, as Liz mentioned.
Depends on the situation. Public speaking? -1093749380. Writing? A solid 7.5
Nice number! I hope you don’t need to do public speaking a lot.
Nope, I’m a hermit who stays at home and writes all day so I’m good!
Awesome! 😀
10.1
That’s more than awesome! 😀
Yup confidence isn’t an issue when you focus on action and what others judge isn’t your problem. Keep moving forward. You are inertly equipted with the “right” things to do. Regardless of what others opinions are
True!
I’ve often found that more than the task, it depends on the audience you have (or don’t). Often when trying brand new things, it helps if the audience are total strangers whom you don’t think you’ll have to meet ever again, but performing tasks you know you’re normally good at feels reassuring when there are familiar faces around.
Interesting. Do you think this can be related to the expectations our audience has (or even our own)?
As far as I remember 80% of people give themselves mark 80%.
Can I propose next question? Has a (good) work always a neuroticism basis?
Yes, of course you can! I’ll schedule it for today. Thank you for this! 😀
2 – Just watch me take down that worm.
Can you take down two worms and go up to 3? 😀
Great encouragement! I’ll give it a try once I’m over this damn cold.
Please do!
As with anyone I think my level of self confidence changes according to what’s going on in my life and how I deal with it. At the moment it’s probably a 6 or 7.
How often does it fluctuate?
i think generally, my confidence level is a 6
That’s awesome! In what situation it can increase?
Mostly when i’m around people that I’m comfortable with