97 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 181”

      1. > What are the top 5 books you would label as a “must read”?

        1. Something Fresh (New) P.G. Wodehouse
        2. Three Men in a Boat J.K. Jerome
        3. Once On a Time A.A. Milne
        4. Little White Bird J.M. Barrie

      2. May I say one? Well I will advice one and give an opinion, and we all know an opinion is neither right nor wrong.
        “The Four Agreements”
        I choose this as it changes our ability to see things different, it’s not a long read, but I guarantee it will change some thing for you xx something is always better then nothing x

      1. I feel things too deeply, especially other people’s pain. It makes me too understanding when people hurt me…I forgive easily, and often end up getting hurt again in the same way by the same person. Or staying in relationships and situations I don’t really want to be in.

        I would choose to have less empathy if I could. My life would be much better. Much, much better.

      2. Having empathy is a great gift, never see it as a curse! A lot of people unfortunately lack the ability to have an empathetic ear.
        To forgive someone also does not determine your too forgiving , it can just merely mean you are forgiving someone for yourself, we don’t always forgive people for them we do it for us, to have anger is to have negativity, we need more positive! And if you look into the kind things you do , it’s positive, and if it becomes to much, just pull away a bit.
        Keep the positive and release the negative x

      3. I can understand the way you see empathy….it is a great thing to have it. Unfortunately, when you have too much of it, you become overwhelmed by other people’s pain and it’s hard to breathe, let alone deal with your own problems. Takes a lot of alone time to process things. Very difficult to just keep the positive and release the negative.

        But I agree that too many people seem to lack empty altogether.

      4. Just a little help for you maybe, if you learn a coping mechanism of some sort, I can help you with that, especially if you have your own struggles too, then I can help you to send your heart in a different way, seems harsh but it’s not, I have MS so my wording might not come out right so please excuse!
        I think it’s amazing you have empathy so much, but a concern you take to much on and find it hard to not let it manifest, so try processing what you have for your self and leave what you want for others, and remember in your minds eye that having forgiveness is not always for the person your are forgiving but yet see it as a positive that you have done it for yourself, so you don’t carry the burden of hatred or worry because you forgave so you don’t have these feelings.
        If at any time you need anyone to talk to then please don’t hesitate x I think your an amazing person to have empathy for others, thankyou for that, from me xxxx

      5. Thank you for your kind words, I appreciate them. Your wording is absolutely fine! It’s me that doesn’t really have the words to explain it very well…in my younger years I tried all kinds of coping mechanisms…the only thing that really works is to limit the amount of time I spend around people. And to choose the people I spend time around very carefully. Some people are just emotional vampires.

      6. Yes if it’s having an impact on your life/ health, then you should reevaluate what your doing who is having an impact and keep it simple, it doesn’t make you a bad person, then when your in a better place then you can start again, as it sounds like you have been a shoulder for a lot of people and it’s manifested its self on you and had a massive impact!
        So think of you first as your emotional well being is most important xx

  12. The ability to wait.
    There’s this ‘test’ that can be done on children (and some adults); put a cookie in front of them. Tell them that if they don’t eat the cookie right now, you’ll bring a second cookie later. If they do happen to eat the cookie before you come back, no second cookie.
    Look at the videos on YouTube, it’s amazing. Those kids go through hell deciding. Back when I was that age, I would have just eaten the cookie.
    Since then I’ve learned to be patient. I want that second cookie, darnit!

    Reply

    1. I know this experiment. Thank you for reminding me! Instant reward versus a potentially better one. Maybe it’s a sign we get used to having things NOW, which can be harmful (or at least, not helpful) in long term.

      Reply

      1. The very first time I had to be resourceful as an adult, I was 19, 5 months pregnant and with a 9 month old baby. I left my husband who was physically, emotionally, sexually, and financially abusive. I had no money, no car, no friends as he kept me isolated, and my family refused to help me because I had ‘eloped’. I was told, “You made your bed…”

        It took me 3 days of calling to be admitted into a battered women’s shelter. During that time, I stayed with a neighbor’s friend.

        While in the shelter, I availed myself to all services–legal, peer group, and individual therapy. The resource manager helped me apply cash aid; which, I never knew existed as I had lived a sheltered life in a strict, overprotective, Catholic, military family before I left home. I saved up the money in order to get my own apt in a short 45 days.

        After getting my own place and giving birth to the child I had been pregnant with, I went to college. I took only the courses I needed to get a good paying job with the County Department of Health Services. As a low income single mom, I researched all of the resources I could use to give my children a good quality of life with healthy food, nice clothes, extra-curricular activities, and even some material things that they wanted. Even though we didn’t have much, we were very happy.

  16. The ability to accept people as they are, where they are. It keeps my stress level down and reduces unnecessary conflict in my life so that I can focus on things that matter to me.

    Reply

    1. That is a great skill indeed! True acceptance is so hard to find these days… usually people pretend to do it because that’s “politically correct”, not because they try to understand.

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  18. I could probably provide a few answers to this, but I will say writing in this case.

    It’s something that is starting to put me in contact with other people in life, such as writing up the character stories for someone’s card game.

    It’s a skill that has a physical outcome and thus why I consider it most important, as it leads to opportunities in life.

    Reply

    1. My heart rate increased a little thanks to your comment because I too believe writing is more than just writing 🙂

      Reply

      1. See now that is a fun pointless overthinking question 🙃😊 lol 😂 I’m a major over thinker so I can appreciate the beauty and art of over thinking 🤔 💭
        So to answer that question, both…
        It was always a natural ability however with time, wisdom, life experience it can grow to the point that you can relate to people and put yourself in their shoes (so to speak) in situations you have never even been through… when I was younger it was only easy to relate to people and situations I personally knew. I hope that fully answers this particular question but I look forward to and hope for more because this is quite a fun exchange.

    1. People need more people with this skill around them! It’s awesome that you consider this as one of your skills even though it’s still in the process 🙂

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  24. My most valuable skill I have is curiosity. I believe this because it pushes me to learn something new daily. My curiosity leads me to reach for dreams and goals that I wouldn’t think possible normally. It challenges me to find new things about the world and myself.

    Reply

      1. Thankyou! Not that I need a thankyou as I said it’s just something I do.. I’m mid way finishing my training for counselling, before I got sick I was heavy in work loaf and had a charity, but unfortunately due to sickness I was in hospital a lot, but I set up another on line charity and now in remission I’m finishing my practitioner client skills, to be able to work around my illness, but thankyou for commenting back to me, very kind of you to acknowledge me x

      2. This is just awesome! You’re very strong and you do something with it! I hope more people can be like you!

      3. You inspired me totally today ha! So I wrote a post I don’t know how to tag someone but I’m learning, but thankyou for your inspirational true questions, and an interesting read of the views of others xxx

      1. It sparks a genuine interest trying to learn new things like painting, acting, a new language; or I use it to build new networks by trying to get to know others more

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