The toughest situation I’ve been through🤔🤔🤔… losing our house. What I learned was: do it for you, not for others; failure doesn’t mean that you are. We weren’t ready but we wanted to show our families we could do it on our own. But we definitely had a money pit and no money to fix it, so we lost it. Now, we can look forward to grinding again for what we want, and living happily ever after.
Yes, girl! Congrats again on the new job offer. Did you start yet? Go ahead and grind with your man and hit the reset button. There is nothing wrong with that.
I started and finished that job this week. Babies caught the daycare cold and I chose my kids(of course), the job chose to let me go. No worries though, me and hubbs still gonna grind.
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Damn girl! That job definitely wasn’t meant for you then….Next! Our babies definitely come first.
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Exactly!
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That is a very tough situation indeed and I believe that those lessons are very valuable. How much time ago did this happen?
Remember when you nom’d me for an Awesome impact Award? I talked about my house there. Here was the answer: https://wp.me/p8hy2s-8h
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Thank you for sharing this and I’m glad that you found a way to get some positivity out of that f*cked up situation. How is that hunting going?
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No, thank you. It’s on pause for right now, but we are always looking. Taking pieces of things we see here and there and putting it on our list of wants. Once our $$ start flowing right again, we’ll be actively looking for our forever home again.
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Losing a job that I hated. My gut told me it was time to go, but I kept putting it off or looking in the wrong direction. I learned that sometimes you have to walk away and step out on faith. In the end, losing that job led to a lot of prayer to get back on a different track, which turned out to be the best.
I were a radio operator attached to a observer team with the 12th Marine Regiment in Vietnam (1965-1966).. we were ordered to helio out to a outpost to call fire control in support of a operation.. I was the last to leave and the closest the heilo could get me to the outpost were approx. 50 yards.. shortly after I got off the heilo small arms fire started and I ran the 50 yards to the outpost…. that is me sitting on the ground…
What did I learn?… I wasn’t fast enough to qualify for the Olympic track team … 🙂
Being Stalked. I learned that law enforcement can’t do anything until it is too late. Complaints are nothing but he said she said unless you have evidence, and by then it is too late.Protection orders are nothing but pieces of paper. Again, nothing can be done of someone violates the order, because it is your word against theirs, unless something happens and you have evidence.
Ugh… it was a very long process. He eventually moved out of state because he owed me over 20 grand in child support and he was evading jail time. If he comes back to my state, he automatically goes to jail. I have PTSD from it, and can not go into a court room without being triggered. It seems I always get called for jury duty and it is horrible. Luckily I’ve been able to get out of it when I have been called.
I’m sorry. No one should have to go through this. But some people are just sick.
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I sometimes wonder outloud, “What is WRONG with people?!”
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My depression and after that my mother’s cancer. From both I learned I am so so so so SO much stronger than I ever thought I was! From the former by overcoming myself, which has to be seen as an epic battle in itself, right? And from the latter because I had the feeling I’d given up, spending night after night just sitting in my room waiting for that depression to come back. But it never did.
The battle with ourselves are the most epic battles we can have in this life. The good thing is that whatever happens, we are victorious, but that doesn’t mean it’s helpful in long term. But yeah… we are so much stronger than we think because we usually don’t need to use that strength all day long. It’s a hidden resource.
I’m sure that’s one of the most painful situations ever. I’m happy and amazed about the fact that you managed to find so much strength to go through all of that all by yourself, especially because you had to take care of your baby too. Congratulations! You’re very strong!
My baby gave me strength. I had to be strong for him…Maybe if I hadn’t had him I wouldn’t have gotten out so fast.
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My toughest situation was becoming clean and changing. I learned that addiction is hard and you think you’re ok, but you’re really losing. Losing your mind, soul, family, friends, home, job, money, you name it, its gone. It’s a very long process to get clean and to stay clean. You. Have. To. Want. It. And once you’re clean, you learn so much about life and experience feelings you’ve never experienced while using. But it’s a wonderful feeling and change is awesome. Plus it makes you strong and you grow and learn from your past experiences.
I was detoxing for 2 weeks and the withdrawing was the worst part. It was extremely tough, it took me over a year to get used to not using because I abused drugs for 36 years and I didn’t know any other way to live. But it gets easier each passing day. It’s all will power, and you gotta be strong and want to stay clean. I still have thoughts and flash backs about using but not enough for me to relapse because I just think about the cons of using and thats what stops me.
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Being told by my boss that he “wouldn’t hire me to shovel shit.” That May be the lowest I’ve ever felt. So I walked out and started over.
Oh you got that right lol. He ended up getting fired for intimiating managers.
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Karma!
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Leaving my home, family, friends, money and everything I’d ever known, changing my identity and moving to the other side of the country to get away from my psychopathic ex husband. It taught me that I’m stronger than I ever knew.
Moving to a small town away from everything I had grown spoiled by. I leanred a lot about myself and finding happiness in the small things like a slow Sunday morning or a nice day at the lake.
I wish I could say that one item was more difficult than another, Some things, losing a house, having my daughter moved 800 miles away without my consent? Seriously crappy. But she was better off for it, and I survived. Sending my son off to basic training. Knowing that it would change him into a harder person. Standing my ground and saying “this is not right, I know my own body”… All difficult lessons at the time. Bottom line – I’m tougher than I was told growing up,
It seems that you had to endure the toughest things out there. I’m sure that this brought you the most valuable lessons too. We all are tougher than others assume we are. We just don;t need to show that every day.
I hope these questions can bring difficult and personal answers that need to be answered to in order to have a better understanding of ourselves.
I think that death can make us realize how precious life really is…
Toughest thing I’ve ever been through? Hmmm, let me think:
Probably my mom being sick my entire life and almost dying no less than 3 times.
Or maybe it was when my father-in-law had a fatal heart attack on Christmas eve the first Christmas my husband and I spent together.
Or getting fired twice in three years.
Or maybe it was losing my grandfather and my first love within 2 weeks of each other.
Yikes. You would think that by now I would have learned that I’m resilient and that life goes on, but I haven’t yet. I’ve just learned to have more anxiety lol
But in all seriousness, the only benefit of going through these things is that 1) I now have a lot of writing material and 2) I am exceptional in counseling people through tough times. Frownie face.
That’s a big list… I’m glad that you can offer support to people that go through tough times. I believe this is mostly because you truly understand what they’ve been through and that empathy you show is one of the best things people need in tough times.
TMI here. My ex husband coerced me to terminate an unplanned pregnancy during our separation. He said he would disappear. I could neither afford the child nor bear the thought of our two grown children losing their father. So, while my gut said not to do it, I terminated the pregnancy. It weighs on me many years later. I learned to trust my gut. While, things worked out fine (Is have a toddler with my new husband), I also have a resentment the size of Texas.
I blame myself for not following my gut. Plus, I was kind of far along (still n the first trimester though). So, when I had my 20 month old and realized how developed the fetus was, it was kind of crushing. Fortunately, brain waves hadn’t developed yet. That keeps me sane.
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I’m so at odds with this one. Losing my mam when my baby was a few days old probably was the worst but I didn’t really deal with it per say, I leant on my partner at the time as a crutch for everything then. Motherhood, bereavement etc. So a few years later when HE left (of his own free will-not through death!) that actually had a worse impact on me because the Apple cart containing all my hurts and certainties about love and life and the future, toppled over in the street! It felt so vulnerable always having been a “strong woman”, navigating that situation and lone parenthood etc. It was far more emotionally toiling than I’d ever have believed but out the other side I really do feel the better and more stronger for it!
Maybe that experience opened the door to some older ones that you didn’t have the chance to fully experience at that time. I’m glad you managed to find your strength and to move forward! You’re the living proof that we’re stronger than we think we are!
The toughest thing I ever went through was ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy). I had 6 inpatient treatments and 6 outpatient treatments. During the the inpatient treatments, I would see the same woman coming out of the treatment room as I was going in. She lay on the gurney looking like a vegetable and drooling all over herself. I thought, “I’m going to look like that when I come out.”
I made the decision to send my daughter to stay with her father for the summer so she wouldn’t have to see her mother looking like a vegetable laying on the couch drooling on herself.
What I learned?
1. Don’t blindly trust doctors.
2. Children are capable of handling more than you think.
3. You are capable of being a good parent than you think no matter what disabilities you have.
4. Don’t trust that someone who was abusive to you won’t be abusive to his children just because he is their father.
5. Children will do hurtful things when they are hurting; because, their minds are not mature enough to foresee the effects their decisions will have.
6. You can’t change the past nor make up for bad decisions. You can only acknowledge the effects that your decisions had, seek to understand the point of view of those affected, ask for forgiveness, and move forward by becoming a better person day by day.
Oh, and bonus: Learning that when your child says, “I hate you!” It had nothing to do with how much they love you.
So much wisdom in just one comment! It’s sad that we’re unable to get to these conclusions before getting through these tough situations. Thank you for sharing your experience! I find this very insightful and I hope that others will find it as well!
Thank you so much. We do the best we can with what we have. And, when we know better, we do better. 😊
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The toughest situation I’ve been through was having to live in the car with my daughter who was yet to be one year old. sending my son to live with his father so he wouldn’t be exposed to the situation. my storage being auctioned car being repossessed and eventually returning to my home town without a home to return to. After my grandmother’s death my grandfather sold the home I grew up in so I was literally starting from scratch. I learned to put my pride to the side for my children’s life happiness and benefit. I learned how to humble myself and i realized everything we lost was materialistic. I had to manifest positive energy so positive could surround us. Because when you dwell on the negative you manifest negative energy and you will eventually find yourself in an abyss that you can’t climb out of because the negative energy is so heavy it weighs you down. When you fall you can either get up or stay down and your words are like puppet strings. And your thoughts are the puppet master.
That’s fuckin’ tough! But yeah, I agree with you that our thoughts are the puppet master. The good thing is that we can influence our thought process. That bad thing is that it’s very hard.
The toughest situation I’ve been through🤔🤔🤔… losing our house. What I learned was: do it for you, not for others; failure doesn’t mean that you are. We weren’t ready but we wanted to show our families we could do it on our own. But we definitely had a money pit and no money to fix it, so we lost it. Now, we can look forward to grinding again for what we want, and living happily ever after.
Yes, girl! Congrats again on the new job offer. Did you start yet? Go ahead and grind with your man and hit the reset button. There is nothing wrong with that.
I started and finished that job this week. Babies caught the daycare cold and I chose my kids(of course), the job chose to let me go. No worries though, me and hubbs still gonna grind.
Damn girl! That job definitely wasn’t meant for you then….Next! Our babies definitely come first.
Exactly!
That is a very tough situation indeed and I believe that those lessons are very valuable. How much time ago did this happen?
Remember when you nom’d me for an Awesome impact Award? I talked about my house there. Here was the answer: https://wp.me/p8hy2s-8h
Thank you for sharing this and I’m glad that you found a way to get some positivity out of that f*cked up situation. How is that hunting going?
No, thank you. It’s on pause for right now, but we are always looking. Taking pieces of things we see here and there and putting it on our list of wants. Once our $$ start flowing right again, we’ll be actively looking for our forever home again.
Losing a job that I hated. My gut told me it was time to go, but I kept putting it off or looking in the wrong direction. I learned that sometimes you have to walk away and step out on faith. In the end, losing that job led to a lot of prayer to get back on a different track, which turned out to be the best.
Sometimes we need to be forced to look around to see what else is there for us…
I were a radio operator attached to a observer team with the 12th Marine Regiment in Vietnam (1965-1966).. we were ordered to helio out to a outpost to call fire control in support of a operation.. I was the last to leave and the closest the heilo could get me to the outpost were approx. 50 yards.. shortly after I got off the heilo small arms fire started and I ran the 50 yards to the outpost…. that is me sitting on the ground…
What did I learn?… I wasn’t fast enough to qualify for the Olympic track team … 🙂
The photo didn’t take… 🙂
And I think you’ve also learned that life is so precious that you now enjoy it every day 🙂
Exactly!… 🙂
Being Stalked. I learned that law enforcement can’t do anything until it is too late. Complaints are nothing but he said she said unless you have evidence, and by then it is too late.Protection orders are nothing but pieces of paper. Again, nothing can be done of someone violates the order, because it is your word against theirs, unless something happens and you have evidence.
That’s tough and creepy. How did you manage to get out of the situation?
Ugh… it was a very long process. He eventually moved out of state because he owed me over 20 grand in child support and he was evading jail time. If he comes back to my state, he automatically goes to jail. I have PTSD from it, and can not go into a court room without being triggered. It seems I always get called for jury duty and it is horrible. Luckily I’ve been able to get out of it when I have been called.
I know this all too well. 😥
I’m sorry. No one should have to go through this. But some people are just sick.
I sometimes wonder outloud, “What is WRONG with people?!”
My depression and after that my mother’s cancer. From both I learned I am so so so so SO much stronger than I ever thought I was! From the former by overcoming myself, which has to be seen as an epic battle in itself, right? And from the latter because I had the feeling I’d given up, spending night after night just sitting in my room waiting for that depression to come back. But it never did.
The battle with ourselves are the most epic battles we can have in this life. The good thing is that whatever happens, we are victorious, but that doesn’t mean it’s helpful in long term. But yeah… we are so much stronger than we think because we usually don’t need to use that strength all day long. It’s a hidden resource.
Survived being shot at; taught me to duck and stay down.
Being shot at? How come?
Military duty.
My husband cheating on me…I wrote the lessons I learned from that experience in a blog post here http://racquelwrites.com/2018/08/11/5-lessons-i-learned-from-my-divorce/
I’m sure that’s one of the most painful situations ever. I’m happy and amazed about the fact that you managed to find so much strength to go through all of that all by yourself, especially because you had to take care of your baby too. Congratulations! You’re very strong!
My baby gave me strength. I had to be strong for him…Maybe if I hadn’t had him I wouldn’t have gotten out so fast.
My toughest situation was becoming clean and changing. I learned that addiction is hard and you think you’re ok, but you’re really losing. Losing your mind, soul, family, friends, home, job, money, you name it, its gone. It’s a very long process to get clean and to stay clean. You. Have. To. Want. It. And once you’re clean, you learn so much about life and experience feelings you’ve never experienced while using. But it’s a wonderful feeling and change is awesome. Plus it makes you strong and you grow and learn from your past experiences.
Setting yourself free from an addiction is indeed a tough situation. How much time did it pass until you started the process?
I was detoxing for 2 weeks and the withdrawing was the worst part. It was extremely tough, it took me over a year to get used to not using because I abused drugs for 36 years and I didn’t know any other way to live. But it gets easier each passing day. It’s all will power, and you gotta be strong and want to stay clean. I still have thoughts and flash backs about using but not enough for me to relapse because I just think about the cons of using and thats what stops me.
Being told by my boss that he “wouldn’t hire me to shovel shit.” That May be the lowest I’ve ever felt. So I walked out and started over.
I hope you’ve told him something like “your shit doesn’t worth shoveling” or something like that.
What an asshat!!
Oh you got that right lol. He ended up getting fired for intimiating managers.
Karma!
Leaving my home, family, friends, money and everything I’d ever known, changing my identity and moving to the other side of the country to get away from my psychopathic ex husband. It taught me that I’m stronger than I ever knew.
Basically, you’ve started life all over again, but this time, you have your experience by your side! Your strength amazes me!
Thank you so much for that 🙂
Toughest situation, definitely loosing my father.
What I learned? We all die and mostly to be the best father I can be while I’m here. (3 boys and a grandson)
That is a lesson we sometimes learn too late in life…
Agree
Moving to a small town away from everything I had grown spoiled by. I leanred a lot about myself and finding happiness in the small things like a slow Sunday morning or a nice day at the lake.
One of the best strategies to have a happy life is to enjoy the little things 🙂
I wish I could say that one item was more difficult than another, Some things, losing a house, having my daughter moved 800 miles away without my consent? Seriously crappy. But she was better off for it, and I survived. Sending my son off to basic training. Knowing that it would change him into a harder person. Standing my ground and saying “this is not right, I know my own body”… All difficult lessons at the time. Bottom line – I’m tougher than I was told growing up,
It seems that you had to endure the toughest things out there. I’m sure that this brought you the most valuable lessons too. We all are tougher than others assume we are. We just don;t need to show that every day.
You ask difficult and personal questions. My fathers death and that people die young.
I hope these questions can bring difficult and personal answers that need to be answered to in order to have a better understanding of ourselves.
I think that death can make us realize how precious life really is…
Toughest thing I’ve ever been through? Hmmm, let me think:
Probably my mom being sick my entire life and almost dying no less than 3 times.
Or maybe it was when my father-in-law had a fatal heart attack on Christmas eve the first Christmas my husband and I spent together.
Or getting fired twice in three years.
Or maybe it was losing my grandfather and my first love within 2 weeks of each other.
Yikes. You would think that by now I would have learned that I’m resilient and that life goes on, but I haven’t yet. I’ve just learned to have more anxiety lol
But in all seriousness, the only benefit of going through these things is that 1) I now have a lot of writing material and 2) I am exceptional in counseling people through tough times. Frownie face.
That’s a big list… I’m glad that you can offer support to people that go through tough times. I believe this is mostly because you truly understand what they’ve been through and that empathy you show is one of the best things people need in tough times.
TMI here. My ex husband coerced me to terminate an unplanned pregnancy during our separation. He said he would disappear. I could neither afford the child nor bear the thought of our two grown children losing their father. So, while my gut said not to do it, I terminated the pregnancy. It weighs on me many years later. I learned to trust my gut. While, things worked out fine (Is have a toddler with my new husband), I also have a resentment the size of Texas.
That’s very tough. Why do you think that still weights on you? Do you blame yourself for that?
I blame myself for not following my gut. Plus, I was kind of far along (still n the first trimester though). So, when I had my 20 month old and realized how developed the fetus was, it was kind of crushing. Fortunately, brain waves hadn’t developed yet. That keeps me sane.
I’m so at odds with this one. Losing my mam when my baby was a few days old probably was the worst but I didn’t really deal with it per say, I leant on my partner at the time as a crutch for everything then. Motherhood, bereavement etc. So a few years later when HE left (of his own free will-not through death!) that actually had a worse impact on me because the Apple cart containing all my hurts and certainties about love and life and the future, toppled over in the street! It felt so vulnerable always having been a “strong woman”, navigating that situation and lone parenthood etc. It was far more emotionally toiling than I’d ever have believed but out the other side I really do feel the better and more stronger for it!
Maybe that experience opened the door to some older ones that you didn’t have the chance to fully experience at that time. I’m glad you managed to find your strength and to move forward! You’re the living proof that we’re stronger than we think we are!
The toughest thing I ever went through was ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy). I had 6 inpatient treatments and 6 outpatient treatments. During the the inpatient treatments, I would see the same woman coming out of the treatment room as I was going in. She lay on the gurney looking like a vegetable and drooling all over herself. I thought, “I’m going to look like that when I come out.”
I made the decision to send my daughter to stay with her father for the summer so she wouldn’t have to see her mother looking like a vegetable laying on the couch drooling on herself.
What I learned?
1. Don’t blindly trust doctors.
2. Children are capable of handling more than you think.
3. You are capable of being a good parent than you think no matter what disabilities you have.
4. Don’t trust that someone who was abusive to you won’t be abusive to his children just because he is their father.
5. Children will do hurtful things when they are hurting; because, their minds are not mature enough to foresee the effects their decisions will have.
6. You can’t change the past nor make up for bad decisions. You can only acknowledge the effects that your decisions had, seek to understand the point of view of those affected, ask for forgiveness, and move forward by becoming a better person day by day.
Oh, and bonus: Learning that when your child says, “I hate you!” It had nothing to do with how much they love you.
Oh, and just because someone forgives you doesn’t mean there are no consequences and that they will forget what happened.
So much wisdom in just one comment! It’s sad that we’re unable to get to these conclusions before getting through these tough situations. Thank you for sharing your experience! I find this very insightful and I hope that others will find it as well!
Thank you so much. We do the best we can with what we have. And, when we know better, we do better. 😊
The toughest situation I’ve been through was having to live in the car with my daughter who was yet to be one year old. sending my son to live with his father so he wouldn’t be exposed to the situation. my storage being auctioned car being repossessed and eventually returning to my home town without a home to return to. After my grandmother’s death my grandfather sold the home I grew up in so I was literally starting from scratch. I learned to put my pride to the side for my children’s life happiness and benefit. I learned how to humble myself and i realized everything we lost was materialistic. I had to manifest positive energy so positive could surround us. Because when you dwell on the negative you manifest negative energy and you will eventually find yourself in an abyss that you can’t climb out of because the negative energy is so heavy it weighs you down. When you fall you can either get up or stay down and your words are like puppet strings. And your thoughts are the puppet master.
That’s fuckin’ tough! But yeah, I agree with you that our thoughts are the puppet master. The good thing is that we can influence our thought process. That bad thing is that it’s very hard.
I’d say my toughest situation was being broke, nearly losing the house, and unable to find a good job.
That’s tough. What have you learned from it?
To never combine bank accounts or trust your spouse to carry you through 100%.