I mistakenly chose Human Resources. In my area/region it’s impossible to get into the field at all without an internship or being 22 and know someone. I had neither advantage.
This is the same thing I was thinking.
Telling someone, “it’s ok, it’s fine” when it really was not. Trying to protect another instead of advocating for my feelings. It felt like a quick fix but actually hindered true resolution.
From age 15 to 28. I joined a support group of married/separating men at 28 and met men who were 75 years old and still in the closet; this made me feel a whole lot better about my life.
“I have a greater peace of mind by being straightforward and truthful about myself, with open heart and mind, knowing the outcome being uncertain, rather than to wake up tomorrow morning and have to deal with a falsehood I told yesterday.” (Larry “Dutch” Woller )
Lies to myself… like: I’m not stressed, when I am. It can wait until tomorrow, when it can’t. I won’t think about it, and it’s the only thing on my mind because I need to deal with it but don’t want to
Great question. I think all contribute to the stress, causing me to be a tad cranky. So, slowly I’m peeling away layers of the tasks that can’t wait until tomorrow. I moved and unpacking is a nightmare. It really can’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow will end up 10 years from now!
When I was 6, when my mom asked me why I didn’t eat my sandwich, I that my sister must have put her sandwich in my lunch box. My sister got in trouble.
The ones I’ve told to myself.
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like what
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Like ‘oh this degree will be fine to get!’….yeah no. Impossible to find a job despite the degree. (in the field)
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I see, one of those “Huge life decisions” situations, if I may ask, what field are you majoring in?
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I mistakenly chose Human Resources. In my area/region it’s impossible to get into the field at all without an internship or being 22 and know someone. I had neither advantage.
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Such as?
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that things were ok when they weren’t.
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This is the same thing I was thinking.
Telling someone, “it’s ok, it’s fine” when it really was not. Trying to protect another instead of advocating for my feelings. It felt like a quick fix but actually hindered true resolution.
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Can you give an example of such things?
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No I didn’t take the last cookie
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But you have crumbles all over your shirt.
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Today is sleeping day…😊
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So it’s never sleeping day?
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Not really…
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That I could handle my drinking.
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For how long you had this lie going?
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I told myself and others I was straight for way too long.
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For how long?
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From age 15 to 28. I joined a support group of married/separating men at 28 and met men who were 75 years old and still in the closet; this made me feel a whole lot better about my life.
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“I am fine”
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What was the reason (or reasons) you weren’t?
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Sometimes, life can throw curve balls that you just weren’t expecting.
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I’m just tired.
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How were you instead of tired? Depressed?
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Depressed, angry, sick of living something like that yes.
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I don’t… 🙂
“I have a greater peace of mind by being straightforward and truthful about myself, with open heart and mind, knowing the outcome being uncertain, rather than to wake up tomorrow morning and have to deal with a falsehood I told yesterday.” (Larry “Dutch” Woller )
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Awesome 🙂
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That I wasn’t enough….
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At what point you discovered that it was a lie?
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When I learned to love myself for who I was and wasn’t.
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Lies to myself… like: I’m not stressed, when I am. It can wait until tomorrow, when it can’t. I won’t think about it, and it’s the only thing on my mind because I need to deal with it but don’t want to
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How are these lies affecting your life?
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Great question. I think all contribute to the stress, causing me to be a tad cranky. So, slowly I’m peeling away layers of the tasks that can’t wait until tomorrow. I moved and unpacking is a nightmare. It really can’t wait until tomorrow. Tomorrow will end up 10 years from now!
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I never told the lies, I just hid the truth.
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You hid the truth from yourself as well?
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No, but I feel guilty even now. I knew exactly what I did and I feel horrible.
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That I was loved the same way I loved the person.
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That’s a tough lesson to learn…
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Surely. It still pains me to this day.
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How much time has passed since then?
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I lost track. Maybe months. Still quite fresh. 😦
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When I was 6, when my mom asked me why I didn’t eat my sandwich, I that my sister must have put her sandwich in my lunch box. My sister got in trouble.
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Was it that bad?
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