|| On the road after a bounce ||

Hi everyone !

I’m back again on my track after experiencing some crazy shit of life. It’s been over a month since I last posted on my blog and this one month was one of the most amazing month for me in terms of asperities of life. I experienced the things I have never experienced before, I come to know how it feels like when all of the people leave you in misery, I experienced the impact of smashing, when you have too much hopes from your people. Briefly, it sounds like the life said, “welcome to the next level”.

This post is just a linking post to the upcoming posts. I will briefly explain what has happened to me in last one month in this post and you will receive regular posts afterwards. So keep reading if you want to know about my fresh experiences with life.πŸ˜‰

Hopelessness, financial pressure, peer pressure, deceit, frustration, dilemma, anxiety, depression, life showed me everything in between within one month. The month of November been pretty much like a gloom chain for me. One disappointment after the another and so on. It started from the last days of october when I lost my job due to some reasons. After that, I started to look for another work but haven’t got one yet. In between, I had been working on a small survey and started to find participants. At first, many showed interest in the survey and promised to take part. But at the time of survey, no one really came. Not even a single person. I remember I asked two of my friends for the same. I decided to meet them on the day when the survey was going to start. But they didn’t come. Neither any phone call or text. Since that day, they never texted me back, however they used to send me a ‘good morning’ message. On the same day, I had a couple of other works to do. I had to make two important calls to discuss something important, but both of the clients didn’t pick up. I made 10 calls to each of them. The second work was to give an interview at the institute for a job. When I reached there, they let me wait for almost one hour and finally said that they’re too busy today, so come another day.

This day was followed by other days like this as well. Before this torment, I was struggling to get a job and facing intense financial pressure and family problems. I wanted to vent out my sorrows somewhere. I was in much need of a friend who could only say to me “everything’s gonna be alright, just hold on”. Even I know that already, but it makes a difference when someone else says this. I was helpless to take a step.

I had never ever felt that great need to share my sorrows with someone before, but I did at that time. I tried to tell my story to my closest ones, to my friends, but no one really showed any warm interest in me. They said they can only handle one life at a time and that is their own. It really hurted me as many times I tried to tell them something about myself. One of them said, “take your time and let me know when you’re okay”. Imagine if you would in a situation like this and receive this kind of answers, how would you feel ?

Along with this, I had other problems also, like I started out a Fiverr gig of writing, but later realized that why do I sell myself for the sake of some money ? a two roads like situation. I’m an emotional person and I write my articles with emotions and develop a relation with my writing. Due to this, my mind never lets me to sell it to someone else for the sake of money. So I cancelled the fiverr program.

This period of life taught me a new chapter of life that we shouldn’t share our joys and sorrows with the others, because nobody has enough time to hear you. They have their own life to live, their own problems to solve. Why would they listen to you ? Sorry, it’s not possible. I found a famous swedish proverb – Shared a joy is a double joy, shared a sorrow is half a sorrow a belief with no proofs and its vice versa might be true.

I still have the same problems in my life but it’s still going and I have decided something. I will never ever share my plans, my problems, my achievements with anyone from now because it hurts every time.

And one more thing I want to share with you all that I eventually bursted out my story to someone else. I have got someone who really understand me and gave me some confidence in myself what I needed the most. A stranger. No she’s not a stranger now. She’s a really good friend of mine. πŸ˜€ (If you’re reading this, I’m so glad you come in contact with me. Thank you soooooo much..πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ€—β€β€)

So how’s my readers’ life is going ? Are you alright or roving like me 😜😜 ??….Let me know in the comments. I’m so thankful for all your support and will forever be.❀

B. M.

(Originally published on BitterMarshmellos)

34 thoughts on “|| On the road after a bounce ||

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  1. I stopped sharing my problems even to family when one time, someone really close told me to deal with my sh*t in silence and to stop being bitter. It did hurt that time but now,I listen to music, write a little and solve my own sh*t😁.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. Only when someone tries to fix it with unsolicited advise when all you wanted was for someone to just listen and actually hear you. Usually, it’s a matter of needing to vent and the desire for validation. I have found that very few people have the skill of listening. I still try, though, with a couple of people. Sometimes they listen, sometimes they don’t. That’s when journaling and a therapist come in handy.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. You and I are in a similar position in life but are at polar oposites in our mentality. For me my life is unravelling and I have a great network of support from friends and family but I am withdrawing into myself. I no longer want to talk to them or see them. I don’t want to talk about my problems with them. I just want to cut my ties with them and curl up in myself and shut off entirely. That being said, I hope you find some sort of relief in blogging and talking to your now stranger friend. Wish you the best of luck and for things to get better!

    Liked by 4 people

      1. When I go through depression and anxiety I isolate myself. I don’t know why exactly… I think it comes down to just not having the energy to communicate with people anymore. I don’t have the energy to fake being ok either. – I’m thxtips, I just changed my username.

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I can relate…..I think it’s uncomfortable in the situations to talk with people….The mind needs a ‘Me time’ then……And we’re supposed to give it…
        Hope you’re having a good day ☺ !!…

        Liked by 2 people

  3. I am also making the shift to keep myself closed off.. it’s a protective vibe.. I’ve tried to be vulnerable with those your supposed to be able to trust and it always backfires at some point.. the only people I can entrust don’t live near me opposite ends of the country and even then.. sometimes it’s difficult to fully open up.. the only place I really feel safe is when I’m chatting with my social worker.. I lucked out with her she gets me and does a great job of listening.. she’s a bit of a health nut like me so she gets it.. we connect with certain people for a reason others are there just for a season… make the distinction if someone is there for a legit reason or just a season! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You’re right with your words….Everything changes, so the people….
      Just like your social worker, I found someone on WordPress and feel really safe to talk about anything, even she’s at a long distance….πŸ™‚
      Thanks a lot for giving your time to the post…πŸ™‚

      Liked by 3 people

      1. No problem. Like I know she’s paid to listen.. but she listens intently and also.. in a word where people’s attention span are no more than 10seconds esp from those your supposed to be able to be open with (without fearing judgement) is a very rare instance in this day and age… I used to be ashamed of seeing a social worker.. but now my perspective has shifted such as it’s a very real investment in my mental health.. I think a lot of people (esp those who think they don’t have issues) could very well still benefit from seeing a counsellor… it’s like a verbal journal or diary without writing anything down… which if you cannot trust that those you live with won’t rummage through your belongings this is a very handy outlet and tool to have available to you.. that’s been my experience anyway πŸ™‚ happy Monday -josh

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I’ve been going through a heck of a lot. I’ve posted a little. I’m really back logged on relying to comments on my posts, posting updates, reading the posts of people I’m following, and posting comments. When things settle down, I’ll come back in full force.

    Liked by 2 people

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