Do you believe your life is the best it can be? Do you want it to be better? Why or why not?
There are people that get into a certain point in life, which they enjoy and they want to live in that state their whole life, and there are also people that enjoy their lives, but they feel that something is missing. They want something more meaningful, but they don’t pursue it because they don’t want to lose what they have now or they don’t really know what they want.
Sometimes and for certain people comfort is not enough because it doesn’t fulfill them. It’s just a good state they’re in, but that state is not complete. In my opinion, this is a sign that their lives are not at their best. It’s doesn’t mean that those people are not grateful for what they have nor that they want to give up to something they have. It just means that they want more or something different. Like an incomplete puzzle.
Fear has its way to keep us in this comfortable uncomfortable state. We like what we have and we’re afraid that we go for something else we might lose that, but we don’t like that there are things/states we don’t have/experience. This psychological state is not easy to handle because we feel guilty about the fact that we’re not grateful enough for the life we have and we feel guilty that we want more, but in the same time, we feel guilty if we don’t pursue what we sometimes think we deserve.
So how comfortable is your comfortable life?
I just personally believe that being stuck in your comfort zone can be quite dangerous, because you aren’t allowing yourself to grow and develop. You should live a somewhat comfortable life, but not too comfortable, because then you aren’t really living.
I agree that we need both. That way, we can evolve and rest 🙂
Well I prefer being to where I am now instead of having settled for something less and always feel incomplete. At least now I don’t lie to myself or others. Nice piece by the way
Thank you! That’s a great approach! Raising our standards leads to raising our life.
This is meaningful to me at this moment. There’s a fine line between joy and guilt when it comes to personal happiness. When so many struggle with day to day living it’s hard not to feel guilty for my own splurges or endulging wants instead of needs. Giving back helps but there’s always more one can do. Not sure if this is where you meant to go but it’s where your piece took me.
I think what you’re saying relates to the self-esteem. The guilt for wanting more and the guilt for having more than others already have. Our mind has a great way to stop us from getting what we want.
What if that is not something that you really want to pursue? What if you pursue them just to impress other? What if you are pursuing other’s expectations not your desire? I find “challenge your comfort zone” is a little bit tricky. Nowadays too, I feel that what you really want to do is often blurred with what people want you do 🙁
I agree with you. This is related to the self-development. It takes a while to peel out the bullshit others wrapped us with so we can get to our true self.
“They want something more meaningful, but they don’t pursue it because they don’t want to lose what they have now or they don’t really know what they want.”
This is the case I guess, and then the fear that we might not be grateful of what we have…But also the fear to not succeed and then lose everything! But there is also something very real that if we really want something badly, we would have made more efforts, or probably we do want it badly but we are terrified to do something…So we convince ourselves that we are luckier than many people and that we should be grateful and satisfied and so…We give examples of people that tried and failed…etc…This struggle between, this is God will and NO it’s me, I haven’t tried enough…But there’s a fact that people who realize their dreams and chase their passions are happier of course and those people never give up because they know exactly what they want and I have lot of respect for these people…
Once that “thing” is the most important for you and it has meaning, it makes perfect sense to pursue it in spite of the risks and the effort. But if we pursue something we don’t really want, we’ll burn out eventually…
So relevant to me right now. Lovely post! Fear of being unsuccessful is holding me back.
Thank you! The reality is that in the beginning there will be failure… but learning from it is what brings success. You just need to keep going forward in spite of the difficulties.
VERY relevant to so many people. I was / am in a similar situation to what PlantPicker describes. I’m fighting my way out of it though, ever so slowly. Fear of failure is a guaranteed self fulfilling prophecy if you never try. Took me a LONG time to realize that.
True! If we don’t try, we already failed. If we try it, we can succeed.
Hi, Bogdan. It’s interesting that you wrote this now. I’ve been considering doing something on a similar theme. I think you are absolutely right in what you say here. My piece will be a nice companion to this one.
Hey Troy! I’m glad you liked it. It will be an interesting read 🙂
As always very thought provoking and a good post to consider in my own life and the way I let things go at times to just be comfortable for a little while.
I’m glad you like it! What usually makes you feel uncomfortable?
There are a lot of different aspects to comfort, aren’t there? I’m perfectly happy with our bed and couch, they make for great reading, sleeping, watching TV etc… When it comes to financial stability, not so comfortable. We are literally one rent payment from packing it all up and unpacking again someplace else – supremely uncomfortable.
But when we start talking about emotional or psychological comfort – there’s the trick. In many ways I feel more comfortable in my own mind “skin” than I ever have. Which in turn allows me to call people out when they’re being dismissive or rude – a very uncomfortable feeling because I’m not used to it. I don’t ever *want* to be comfortable in a way that i perceive as negative or damaging.
Woof! That’s a lot of thinking for a small query!
There are also times when we feel comfortable in an uncomfortable environment or the other way around. I think it’s more about the mindset than the physical environment, but since one influence the other, it’s a full package. And I totally agree with you that we don’t need to become comfortable with negativity because once it sips into us, it’s very hard to shake it off.
I recently made the decision to pull focus away from freelancing to write a book. I thought about it for over a year before I committed to it. It’s scary as hell because I am now making very little money. So I get what you mean. The phrase that comes to mind when I think of things I yearn to do competing with the fear of losing what I have is “cognitive dissonance.”
I hope your plot, and characters behave, and your editor is thrilled, and we see you on the “You need to read this book” list!
Yes! And cognitive dissonance comes when we cannot choose between two similar things that we want equally bad. I get what you’ve been through with your book since I’ve also struggled to write one. But it’s an awesome feeling when I look at it now.
I have been willing to step out of the box and chase impossible dreams most of my life. It hasn’t always gone the way I wanted but it’s better than not trying. There is really only one thing I want in life to make it the perfect comfy cozy and I tried over and over and over to get him. Other than that I feel complete and feel like I have everything I need and want.
It’s awesome if you feel you have everything you need and want and in the same time you’re willing to chase your dreams. The two don’t need to exclude each other.
Reblogged this on The Perils of Improbable Potholes.
“Like an incomplete puzzle” was an awesome expression to summarize the truth of our lives. Thanks for this one!
Thank you for reading 🙂
This is a great question. Everyone needs to do a self-assessment every now and then. It’s all about balance. It’s good to be comfortable but not all of the time. We have to push ourselves to be better and reach new goals for our own personal enrichment. However, we can’t be in a constant state of improvement as this will burn us out and doesn’t allow enjoyment for all of that hard work. “What does a man really gain from all his hard work and ambition that drives him to work hard under the sun? For during all his days, his occupation brings pain and frustration, and even at night his heart does not rest. This too is futility. There is nothing better for a man than to eat and drink and find enjoyment in his hard work. This too, I have realized, is from the hand of the true God.” (Ecclesiastes 2:22-24)
What a valuable insight! Yes, we need to have a work-rest balance to make sure we don’t burn out.