If anyone talks down to me or acts in a way they know is wrong. I stand up and speak my mind. If they argue my points, I stand my ground. To a point. If they should know better and still can’t see the wrong, then I move on.
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Treating people with disrespect is just stupid. I guess when there are no real arguments, people use this “weapon” to attack others.
What I meant was that when people are intolerant towards other people in a specific situation, I tend to argue with them to tell them not to behave like that.
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There inability to accept that someone can have an opinion that is not reflective of their own.
Nailed it. I have no problem tolerating somebody with a different opinion. It’s when they come at me with hate for disagreeing with them. Took alot of abuse inside and outside the home growing up, so this tends to provoke a “who the hell are you to call me names and tell me I have no right to an opinion?” reaction.
This is one of the biggest challenge people face. There is a lack of ability to see that other perspectives are as real as the personal one and this creates so much arguments.
I never do. The most I will attempt is self explanation. Much of the time this is received as argument and therefore swiftly terminated by me. I will respond once when someone tries to argue with me, by as gently as possible pointing out both the attempt and iys truly useless and destructive nature. I have to really care about a situation to be around for the second time.
That said, at this moment I have just remained for dozens of these over a three month period, hoping to hang onto a thirty five year friendship which turned completely away from me yesterday at their very first mention — and am currently awaiting what will probably turn out to be delayed, disguised and petty female roommate type get-evenship (for trying to get things back to even) which may be coming back to me for it, if the first time around is any indicator.
Looks like I may be not arguing with anyone back out in the rain soon.
Then I stop, an argument should be about the truth regardless of who is correct don’t argue with those who can’t get this they will just feel attacked and no one will learn a thing.
ECHO ECHO
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With family? When they act as if I were completely irrational. I am not the person I was 10, or 45 years ago – I take my medications, i go to therapy, and you know what? I’m fairly intelligent. I can piece together the clues in most situations pretty well, and to be given that patronizing tone of “Well, actually…” Yes, my sister tried to mansplain phone numbers and who kept them to me. I used to work in the industry – I know the drill. If i give you a warning, or say “This is what I’m seeing” I’m not looking for a fight, although many seem to take it that way.
Outside of family – meh! I’ll generally state my POV, and if that comes back with some rhetoric bull or argument, I’ll just agree to disagree. I’m open to conversations with differing points of view, but arguments still are a trigger for me.
People act as they know the best because they believe they know the best. With family is the worst because they believe they have the right to do whatever they want because they are family. And with others… they don’t matter that much, do they? But they can still trigger some frustrations because that’s how it goes…
On a personal level there is only one person I argue with and that only happens when they are disrespecting me or other people.
When it comes to everyone else I don’t care what you wear, what music you like or whether you church or not. I respect everyone BUT I will not tolerate those who disrespect and hurt others. I will speak out for those who can’t speak for themselves. I let people know it’s not okay to objectify women and it’s not okay to sexualize kids. I will put a boot in anyone’s ass for disrespect like that and won’t feel bad about it.
I don’t feel like I have a choice. It’s a natural response. It’s better to say something than to wish I had. That comes from growing up in an abusive house. Sometimes you have to fight for people even if you don’t want to.
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Usually I don’t argue (I like to walk away from folks, burns them up so bad😆😆), but….if I do, it has to be something that really grates a nerve (like pretending my point of view isn’t valuable, or asking for advice and doing the opposite when it’s not what you want to hear😲😲)
I try to use what I learned many years ago…”I feel ___, when you___,I need you to ___”. Other times, I just completely shut up and walk away so I don’t say something I’ll regret.
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I found arguements rise from lack of interest by another to see things from my point of view.
No. That’s not how arguments work. REAL arguments are a short series of professed premises leading to a conclusion. If A. If B, If C. Then Conclusion, D.
Arguments can be Valid, meaning that *assuming* A, B & C are true, Conclusion D is, too. Or they can be Sound. Meaning that if there are no assumptions about the truthfulness of Assumptions A, B &C– A, B & C are in fact true– you’re good to go.
Being misunderstood. I often have nuanced and controversial views which require explanation. I have no problem with disagreements, but it’s the mischaracterization of my views that gets me wound up. Probably a bit of a weakness.
Wow! You really changed my life now! Thank you so much 😊 No actually I come from the third world but so glad we have brilliant people like you to enlighten us
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In your opinion, why other people are so disrespectful?
Thank you for your interest! In theory, there is no space for feelings. In practice, I’ve never witnessed nor I’ve been part of an argument without feelings. This is because some parts of that conversation (e.g. the tone, the body language, some key words) are processed by without us being aware of. The results are expressed through feelings because we’re unable to find the logical explanation since there is no visibility over those processes.
As far as I know, there are some feelings involved there too. There are feelings of fulfillment when they express their ideas in ways that make them understand those ideas better.
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I’m argumentative. Say snow is white, I might argue it’s black.
Almost anything. Like the reason why people work out, life perspectives, confirmed bias regarding certain people, etc. Heck, even Pokemon can be an argument material
…not that I enjoy arguing, but… whenever I see some questionable logic or opinion, I feel like I need to ask, which often escalates into an argument. Most of the time, I end up getting blocked by the opposing party
In real life, I usually argue with my parents. My father in particular. Usually it’s because they are being control freaks, always making up or reinforcing their opinions or ideas against my wish. Unfortunately, they never really want to listen. Apparently, no matter how I try to be level headed and state my opinions why those don’t work with me, they will never want to accept no, even if what they usually say always goes in circles. Disagreeing with them, for them, equals with defying them
So the fact that you ask questions escalates into something more? That’s interesting. I guess there are people that don’t like questions (maybe because they don’t know the answers).
Sometimes I think they are afraid to rethink about their perspective and possibly change about how they view or see things, even if it’s probably good for them
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Yes, exactly.
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My boss. For being condescending no matter the circumstances. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t kind of things. I’ve started standing up for beliefs and myself recently which had caused some controversy. He does not like confrontation so avoids an argument like the plague but I’m pushing for one and will continue until I get a response. I think we are very close to a battle of wits. I’m ready for some one to play along damnit!
1. Condescending people are scared of you so they put you down 2. I am right 3. Business is business but that kind of attitude is gonna nite you 4. I am still right and not cocky like said person at beginning of my reply that makes sense….who writes after an ambien?! Lol go read my “insomnia “ post that made me sleep better than ambien lol
Point is I argue with stupidity because it’s fun. But nothing petty. Just real talk.
Too often. I need to learn to not respond with emotions.
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What do you think it can help you to not respond with emotions?
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Practice. Plus, being well prepared for appropriate responses in order to get conversations flowing back in the right direction. Excited to see what this semester will build upon and growth for self.
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When I know that what they are remembering is inaccurate.
I have no negativity buddy in this world I am considered a good person so I am love and hope it’s the people who are just on their own rollercoaster and keep up making stories when they don’t have a thought in my write my loved ones will always be my rhyme
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Somethings which are irrational and ridiculous to me???
1. They are wrong. 2. I am right. 3. Their arguments are not sound.
These are areas in which it matters who is wrong and who is right?
If they treat me with disrespect.
Please explain what you mean by this.
If anyone talks down to me or acts in a way they know is wrong. I stand up and speak my mind. If they argue my points, I stand my ground. To a point. If they should know better and still can’t see the wrong, then I move on.
Treating people with disrespect is just stupid. I guess when there are no real arguments, people use this “weapon” to attack others.
Intolerance
The questions was, “Which are the most common reasons you argue with other people?”
Given the question, your reply makes no sense. Could you elaborate?
Intolerance of what?
What I meant was that when people are intolerant towards other people in a specific situation, I tend to argue with them to tell them not to behave like that.
There inability to accept that someone can have an opinion that is not reflective of their own.
Nailed it. I have no problem tolerating somebody with a different opinion. It’s when they come at me with hate for disagreeing with them. Took alot of abuse inside and outside the home growing up, so this tends to provoke a “who the hell are you to call me names and tell me I have no right to an opinion?” reaction.
Yes, it’s an “opportunity for growth” 😀
Again— Their, not There.
This is one of the biggest challenge people face. There is a lack of ability to see that other perspectives are as real as the personal one and this creates so much arguments.
I never do. The most I will attempt is self explanation. Much of the time this is received as argument and therefore swiftly terminated by me. I will respond once when someone tries to argue with me, by as gently as possible pointing out both the attempt and iys truly useless and destructive nature. I have to really care about a situation to be around for the second time.
That said, at this moment I have just remained for dozens of these over a three month period, hoping to hang onto a thirty five year friendship which turned completely away from me yesterday at their very first mention — and am currently awaiting what will probably turn out to be delayed, disguised and petty female roommate type get-evenship (for trying to get things back to even) which may be coming back to me for it, if the first time around is any indicator.
Looks like I may be not arguing with anyone back out in the rain soon.
How do you feel when you encounter those people?
Bad
it’s fun
ECHO ECHO
When it becomes less fun?
Then I stop, an argument should be about the truth regardless of who is correct don’t argue with those who can’t get this they will just feel attacked and no one will learn a thing.
ECHO ECHO
With family? When they act as if I were completely irrational. I am not the person I was 10, or 45 years ago – I take my medications, i go to therapy, and you know what? I’m fairly intelligent. I can piece together the clues in most situations pretty well, and to be given that patronizing tone of “Well, actually…” Yes, my sister tried to mansplain phone numbers and who kept them to me. I used to work in the industry – I know the drill. If i give you a warning, or say “This is what I’m seeing” I’m not looking for a fight, although many seem to take it that way.
Outside of family – meh! I’ll generally state my POV, and if that comes back with some rhetoric bull or argument, I’ll just agree to disagree. I’m open to conversations with differing points of view, but arguments still are a trigger for me.
People act as they know the best because they believe they know the best. With family is the worst because they believe they have the right to do whatever they want because they are family. And with others… they don’t matter that much, do they? But they can still trigger some frustrations because that’s how it goes…
Over politics; usually family. Lots of polarity lately.
Yeah, that’s one can of worms I try not to open.
Yes, always politics!!
Is it only an intellectual argument or feelings are involved?
Feeling for sure. It hurts me to my core when I think about how racist and biased my family members can be. It makes me question my love and loyalty.
When people cannot accept that someone else might have a different point of view and that’s okay.
I dislike that too. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog.
1) I feel rejected 2) they are being stupid 3) I am right 4) working on walking away and not arguing
If you think about a normal week, how often does it happen to argue with people because of the above reasons?
Probably 2-3. Too many. I let too much get under my skin. And I know I have no control over other’s.
Like your first commenter above, I’m right. They’re not. 😮🙃 Lol
But it still hurts, isn’t it? 🙂
On a personal level there is only one person I argue with and that only happens when they are disrespecting me or other people.
When it comes to everyone else I don’t care what you wear, what music you like or whether you church or not. I respect everyone BUT I will not tolerate those who disrespect and hurt others. I will speak out for those who can’t speak for themselves. I let people know it’s not okay to objectify women and it’s not okay to sexualize kids. I will put a boot in anyone’s ass for disrespect like that and won’t feel bad about it.
It’s very noble of you to defend other people, but also yourself when it comes to disrespect 🙂
I don’t feel like I have a choice. It’s a natural response. It’s better to say something than to wish I had. That comes from growing up in an abusive house. Sometimes you have to fight for people even if you don’t want to.
Usually I don’t argue (I like to walk away from folks, burns them up so bad😆😆), but….if I do, it has to be something that really grates a nerve (like pretending my point of view isn’t valuable, or asking for advice and doing the opposite when it’s not what you want to hear😲😲)
Well, sometimes people want validation of their own views, not actually advises :))
I try not to argue. Arguments I do get in to are often based on misunderstanding due to tone of voice either on my part or the other person’s.
How do you deal with them?
I try to use what I learned many years ago…”I feel ___, when you___,I need you to ___”. Other times, I just completely shut up and walk away so I don’t say something I’ll regret.
I found arguements rise from lack of interest by another to see things from my point of view.
No. That’s not how arguments work. REAL arguments are a short series of professed premises leading to a conclusion. If A. If B, If C. Then Conclusion, D.
Arguments can be Valid, meaning that *assuming* A, B & C are true, Conclusion D is, too. Or they can be Sound. Meaning that if there are no assumptions about the truthfulness of Assumptions A, B &C– A, B & C are in fact true– you’re good to go.
What if there is no conclusion? Does that mean there is no argument?
I guess that most arguments rise from that…
Being misunderstood. I often have nuanced and controversial views which require explanation. I have no problem with disagreements, but it’s the mischaracterization of my views that gets me wound up. Probably a bit of a weakness.
I’m not sure if it’s weakness or it’s a matter of making sure you’re message is properly understood.
Politics
When was the last time you argued about politics?
Disrespect and ignorance otherwise I respect others opinions and point of views…because it’s all about perspective!
Should be ‘Other’s.’ And pointS of view.
Do you people not own a Little Brown or a Hardbarce?
Wow! You really changed my life now! Thank you so much 😊 No actually I come from the third world but so glad we have brilliant people like you to enlighten us
In your opinion, why other people are so disrespectful?
I left the first comment, and I’ve replied to others.
“To argue” means to engage in a logical back-and-forth.
There is no space in a logical argument for feelings.
Simply put, I don’t care about your feelings.
The question was, “Which are the most common reasons you argue with other people?”
To which I replied
1. They are wrong. 2. I am right. 3. Their arguments are not sound.
Thank you for your interest! In theory, there is no space for feelings. In practice, I’ve never witnessed nor I’ve been part of an argument without feelings. This is because some parts of that conversation (e.g. the tone, the body language, some key words) are processed by without us being aware of. The results are expressed through feelings because we’re unable to find the logical explanation since there is no visibility over those processes.
You should spend more time with philosophers!
As far as I know, there are some feelings involved there too. There are feelings of fulfillment when they express their ideas in ways that make them understand those ideas better.
I’m argumentative. Say snow is white, I might argue it’s black.
What is the reason for this side of yours?
It’s fun to argue.
Almost anything. Like the reason why people work out, life perspectives, confirmed bias regarding certain people, etc. Heck, even Pokemon can be an argument material
…not that I enjoy arguing, but… whenever I see some questionable logic or opinion, I feel like I need to ask, which often escalates into an argument. Most of the time, I end up getting blocked by the opposing party
In real life, I usually argue with my parents. My father in particular. Usually it’s because they are being control freaks, always making up or reinforcing their opinions or ideas against my wish. Unfortunately, they never really want to listen. Apparently, no matter how I try to be level headed and state my opinions why those don’t work with me, they will never want to accept no, even if what they usually say always goes in circles. Disagreeing with them, for them, equals with defying them
So the fact that you ask questions escalates into something more? That’s interesting. I guess there are people that don’t like questions (maybe because they don’t know the answers).
Sometimes I think they are afraid to rethink about their perspective and possibly change about how they view or see things, even if it’s probably good for them
Yes, exactly.
My boss. For being condescending no matter the circumstances. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t kind of things. I’ve started standing up for beliefs and myself recently which had caused some controversy. He does not like confrontation so avoids an argument like the plague but I’m pushing for one and will continue until I get a response. I think we are very close to a battle of wits. I’m ready for some one to play along damnit!
1. Condescending people are scared of you so they put you down 2. I am right 3. Business is business but that kind of attitude is gonna nite you 4. I am still right and not cocky like said person at beginning of my reply that makes sense….who writes after an ambien?! Lol go read my “insomnia “ post that made me sleep better than ambien lol
Point is I argue with stupidity because it’s fun. But nothing petty. Just real talk.
“Bite” not nite you.
How often do you find yourself emotionally involved in that argument?
Too often. I need to learn to not respond with emotions.
What do you think it can help you to not respond with emotions?
Practice. Plus, being well prepared for appropriate responses in order to get conversations flowing back in the right direction. Excited to see what this semester will build upon and growth for self.
When I know that what they are remembering is inaccurate.
I hope they question their own remembering when you point this out.
They usually get defensive but I stand by the truth.
Nothing I don’t talk
So you let that other person do it’s thing until all the negativity is over?
I have no negativity buddy in this world I am considered a good person so I am love and hope it’s the people who are just on their own rollercoaster and keep up making stories when they don’t have a thought in my write my loved ones will always be my rhyme
Somethings which are irrational and ridiculous to me???
How often does that happen?
Not sharing the same opinions and views
How often does this happen and who starts the fight?
When people don’t understand the reality.