In the past, I’ve paid huge prices to do so, and so I’m positive did the karma of those who would not leave the peacefully intended in peace. There’s always a choice.
I pay them no mind….unless they come for me directly. Most people who are truly angry, who really feel the need to let you know about yourself or what irks them about, will express it. Otherwise, they’re cowards. So, as the saying goes “don’t come for me, unless I send for you” – Kenya Moore Housewives of ATL. Or in other words, don’t start none, won’t be none.😙
Honestly, it depends on so many factors. Person A became angry with me for something outside my control – I’ve blocked them, after feeling triggered. Person B is pissed of because of something I did that I feel was the correct course of action – I don’t interact with them, but don’t feel threatened. Mostly, I just keep away from people. I’m not here to eat their stress and anger.
1. Why are they angry at me? is it direct or a projection of anger? Is it jealously disguised or just a bad mood? Pick apart the reasons why and see if valid or no.
Generally speaking when someone is angry with me, it is more than likely for a legitimate reason. So I try my best to let them have their moment, it doesn’t always work that way, but I try to talk through it as comply as possible. We all can be so angry inside and sometimes you just need to let it go.
I love your approach! I believe people get angry because of their perception about things. This is why the same situation can make someone angry, but not another.
I have learned it is best to allow people time to process. I no longer take responsibility for someone else’s feelings or behavior, unless I know I am at fault. If I am at fault, I make amends. If I do not “believe” I am at fault, I do nothing. Only my EGO would be responding and I need to keep my EGO in check.
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Our EGO is a challenge…
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Absolutely nothing since I don’t care if they are mad at me or not…
No, emotions are overrated (anger is one) and people are angry in general because they can and want. Most times they are angry for things they cannot control, so reacting with anger towards anything or anybody gives them a false sense of control.
I believe it was one of the Stoics who said something to the effect of, “Oh, he has a problem with me? That’s his problem.” I like this approach. I can ask if I have offended and try to make amends, but I have no control over the other individual.
I try to diffuse the situation by apologizing for making them upset. If they are willing to listen, I try to explain my view and if they don’t want to listen I apologize and drop the subject.
I go away.
And when you can’t?
In the past, I’ve paid huge prices to do so, and so I’m positive did the karma of those who would not leave the peacefully intended in peace. There’s always a choice.
Whatever it is, I’m sure it was my fault.
ECHO ECHO
Echo, stop 😉
It convinces people to not anger pretty quickly when I just take full responsibility and move on.
ECHO ECHO
But what if you didn’t do anything?
I don’t care about that.
ECHO ECHO
Are you a fan of Gary Vaynerchuk? He is a big fan of this idea.
Never heard of them.
ECHO ECHO
It’s a good thing or a bad thing?
Not always good, but I’m a creature of habit.
ECHO ECHO
I pay them no mind….unless they come for me directly. Most people who are truly angry, who really feel the need to let you know about yourself or what irks them about, will express it. Otherwise, they’re cowards. So, as the saying goes “don’t come for me, unless I send for you” – Kenya Moore Housewives of ATL. Or in other words, don’t start none, won’t be none.😙
That’s an interesting approach. Sometimes they do it because that’s how they can feel good about themselves.
Honestly, it depends on so many factors. Person A became angry with me for something outside my control – I’ve blocked them, after feeling triggered. Person B is pissed of because of something I did that I feel was the correct course of action – I don’t interact with them, but don’t feel threatened. Mostly, I just keep away from people. I’m not here to eat their stress and anger.
I love this! It’s so true! -> “I’m not here to eat their stress and anger.”
1. Why are they angry at me? is it direct or a projection of anger? Is it jealously disguised or just a bad mood? Pick apart the reasons why and see if valid or no.
What do you do if it isn’t valid⸮
ECHO ECHO
Then it is an unreasonable reaction on their part and I’m not the real issue.
Yes, but what do you do?
ECHO ECHO
Ideally I’d remove myself from the situation.
Makes sense
ECHO ECHO
So you try to understand the reason behind that? In my opinion, that’s a healthy approach.
Now I do…years ago I would just be reactive.
Tell them to fuck off and walk away forever.
How do they react to that? Or you walk away so fast that they don’t have the chance to react while you’re still there?
Generally speaking when someone is angry with me, it is more than likely for a legitimate reason. So I try my best to let them have their moment, it doesn’t always work that way, but I try to talk through it as comply as possible. We all can be so angry inside and sometimes you just need to let it go.
I love your approach! I believe people get angry because of their perception about things. This is why the same situation can make someone angry, but not another.
I give them space to cool down and once they do …talk it out with them once they become more rational.
Have you encountered times when they don’t take that advice and they still continue to argue?
Yes and that’s when I walk away from the person.
Not to well. I usually get defensive and pissed off if I feel its unwarranted. One of my failings I’m working on improving.
What pisses you off the most (e.g. the language, the anger of the other, the other’s apparent inability to understand your point of view)?
Just get mute for some time to realise whose mistake it was.
Is that always helpful?
I simply let them be.
So you hold back all your reactions and you let them manifest until the anger is gone?
Exactly.
I have learned it is best to allow people time to process. I no longer take responsibility for someone else’s feelings or behavior, unless I know I am at fault. If I am at fault, I make amends. If I do not “believe” I am at fault, I do nothing. Only my EGO would be responding and I need to keep my EGO in check.
Our EGO is a challenge…
Absolutely nothing since I don’t care if they are mad at me or not…
Not even if they yell at you or cuss you or things like that?
No, emotions are overrated (anger is one) and people are angry in general because they can and want. Most times they are angry for things they cannot control, so reacting with anger towards anything or anybody gives them a false sense of control.
You tell
I try to understand where that anger comes from and I try to empathize so they feel understood. That usually does the trick.
I believe it was one of the Stoics who said something to the effect of, “Oh, he has a problem with me? That’s his problem.” I like this approach. I can ask if I have offended and try to make amends, but I have no control over the other individual.
True! and we are responsible for our actions, not for other’s interpretations.
I will ask them why they are angry at me.
If I did make a mistake to make them mad, I will admit to it and ask for forgiveness.
If I didn’t commit their accusations, I will tell them that I did not do the things they think I did.
If they don’t believe me, I leave. I don’t deserve to have a negative person in my life.
If they won’t leave me alone, I’ll get the authorities involved.
How often did it happen to get the authorities involved?
None for now.
I try to diffuse the situation by apologizing for making them upset. If they are willing to listen, I try to explain my view and if they don’t want to listen I apologize and drop the subject.
Have you encountered situations in which this strategy didn’t work?
Depends. I usually keep quiet, once done, I will walk away.
How do people react to that?