Have you ever wondered why we sometimes run some weird negative scenarios through our mind that makes us feel bad or angry? How often does that happen to you?
Today I caught myself running such a scenario with some people walking around me. Out of nowhere my mind made up a situation in which one of those people said something bad to me without any reason. After that, my mind created a response to that situation and the whole thing made me angry. I was like WTF??? Why did I just do that? Why am I angry now for some shit I made up?
There are two “logical” explanations. The first one is that I’m going nuts. The second one is that there is some deeper meaning. I thought that such an “exercise” is to prepare a response for situations never encountered before. Most of the time we encounter anxiety in situations that we don’t fully control. Our fear of the unknown creates anxiety, but it seems that from time to time it also creates some scenarios so we can get prepared. Once we know how to handle the situation, the anxiety disappears. But not the anger. That’s still there. We get rid of some negative feeling, but we encounter another one. Is there a way out?
I believe we’re so complex that sometimes we don’t realize how connected the things from our head are. We find ourselves in some situations we never intended to be in and then we feel bad or angry or whatever because of it or because of the situation we’re in. We probably wouldn’t be in that place if it wasn’t for our creative mind that created the scenarios. I guess it depends on how we’re acting upon those scenarios (or we don’t).
How often do you get angry, sad or frustrated because of some scenarios your mind made up?
It’s easy to do this at work, because it can be stressful at times.
And the scenarios help?
Most the time it makes it difficult to have courage and ask about it, but that’s a way to get better at a job.
24.7. It sucks, but I like to entertain all sides of a situation and expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised. This isn’t a healthy way to live, but it is so hard to get caught up in your own mind. i’m up now pointlessly overthinking.
If it makes things worse, it’s definitely not healthy.
I do this a lot when I’m meant to be asleep. I just start thinking of random bad scenarios and how I would react to them. But I’ve never really understood why I do it either. It’s causing me unnecessary pain considering it’s not even real, so why am I preparing for it like I’m a psychic who knows it will happen? Because it never does.
I think that when the mind triggers the scenarios, it believes there is a chance for that to happen.
Yeah that makes sense. I think in the moment the mind sometimes believes it is actually happening
I think this happens to everyone. It is when we overthink. Our thoughts can get carried away. I call it “Catastrophising”! It’s focusing on worst case scenarios or a myriad of bad outcomes that may never happen. I think there’s a quote that about 90% of what we worry about never happens. It may be higher than that. It stems from anxiety, depression or negative thinking.
The best way to conquer it can be by keeping busy, stepping outside of yourself and focusing on something else, new hobbies, something you are passionate about, being sociable with the right people. Or engaging in activities that get you into a flow experience.
We often overthink like this when we are alone with our thoughts. A famous ultra athlete called Rich Roll said, “Mood Follows Action.” He said when hes really anxious or depressed being physically active transforms his mood. Even if he does not feel like doing it to begin with. Once we start doing things that have meaning in our lives or being active in some way the futile thoughts can disintegrate.
It’s normal to fear the worst or imagine bad outcomes. But it’s unhealthy if it completely takes over out thinking. Thoughts become things. And we are better, when we feel our mind being pulled downwards in this way to focus on something else. Or even talk to someone about it to get it out of our head and also get another perspective on it.
The key really is to start living a life where you focus on the positive things and outcomes that you want and not the negative things that you don’t want. Put your energy and thoughts into the amazing things that would bring you joy and move in that direction..
True! And the trigger is effortlessly, but the self-argument is consuming energy.
I’ve gotten better about not doing this over the years. I do know that social anxiety seems to bring it on more often.
What do you do when this comes?
Try and find something else to focus on.
The mind is just modelling endlessly, improvising on themes, playing out all kinds of scenarios, frequently horrible ones – the other I was going out of supermarket and my eyes happened to rest on an unusually dirty homeless person, and I had to the thought to lick his feet. And I’m not a foot person, and have no particular fetishes, nor homosexual, or even particularly humble. The image just blossomed for a moment in my apparently helpless mind.
Sometimes, it seems, I run through the scenarios that gives me the most disgust. I just let it play out, try no to wallow, but consider myself a bystander to what happens on that open channel where the rest of the world participates.
This is a very interesting situation! I’m wondering what triggered that thought…
Well said.Many times we react unnecessarily when it is not warranted.Indeed mind is a crazy stuff !
I guess that when it gets bored, it comes up with all sorts of stuff.
Oh my god, I do that way to often! Some days I wake up being terribly angry at a person that was mean to me in my dream 😀 It’s very difficult to shake that off sometimes… Ahh the human brain 😀
Yeah, because the human brain believes almost that encounters.
Before my healing journey began I would think bad things and worry everyone hated me. Nowadays I don’t think that way, unfortunately there are a few real mean people I have to cross paths with, but they made it clear they don’t like me. (It’s not in my head). When they are out of sight then it is out of mind. When I go places now (where those people aren’t) then I don’t think about what others will think of me. It used to be a constant worry and had me so fearful I couldn’t even function but now my focus is on happiness or a song I heard. I am not intentionally blocking out the world and actually I mingle better in society now because I don’t feel like everyone is out to get me. I just enjoy myself and not having to worry about others is a wonderful thing.
This is awesome! How did you manage to do the change?
It was a lot of healing. When I learned to love those parts of me I no longer cared if others liked them or not.
Gosh, if I had 💰 for everytime I made up some kind of false scenario in my head, I would be Scrooge McDuck! At first, I thought it was just me but now knowing that I share a commonality with others, I feel better😊.
It’s a defense mechanism. Ready yourself for Dissapointment so if and when it happens you know how to handle it, or at least not be so surprised.
Yes, but does it make such a difference when it becomes real? If we think about it, most of them don’t become real, but we do feel the negative emotions from each and every one of them. But I guess it’s just like Jordan Peterson says, we eat poison every day so we don’t overdose.
That is a nice take on this issue!
Thank you! 🙂
Wonder what makes one calm when all one does is always stay calm
I think it’s probably because that one focuses his mind on some particular things. That way, nothing else can come through.
What come through we don’t have any issues if sometimes one doesn’t want to see hear or be with someone one can block them our of ones life block and be with things they desire one can’t please only oneself right
Yeah, but it’s not always easy.
Hello there… I am trying to comment on your amazing words that came through my email. Not sure why, but it won’t let me post a comment. It keeps asking me to log into something and I don’t know what is going on. LOL… my tech skills need improvement for sure.
I wanted to tell you that I enjoy your blog and your writings very much. I’ll try and figure out why it isn’t working so I can post my comments later but I wanted to reach out and let you know how much I enjoy reading your stuff!
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Hi Toy! Thank you very much for your wonderful words! I’m looking forward for more of your comments! I’m sure you’ll figure this out.
I too believe the same “I believe we’re so complex that sometimes we don’t realize how connected the things from our head are”. The way we are thinking is linked to a positive or negative aura, which in turn affects our next steps. Getting into such negative mode I feel, is a genuine thing as we have feelings and emotions(both positive and negative have an equal chance of 50%), whenever I am stuck I simply count my breath consciously from 1 to 10 which mitigates the negative emotion.
Great strategy! Does it always work?
Yes, this is actually what do. (Though when the situations are bad it is difficult to do this, but I follow this sequence and it reduces the anxiety)
Start taking deep breaths and release ( 2- 3 times)
Then count mentally(even without lip movement) 1 for first in-breath and then breathe out
Then count mentally(even without lip movement) 2 for second in-breath and then breathe out
.
.
Then count mentally(even without lip movement) 10 for tenth in-breath and then breathe out
This you can repeat for 2-3 times and you will definitely feel the difference. The breath can change our perspective magically.
I would be happy to know your and others feedback 🙂
I also noticed that controlling our breath helps us control our state. Jay Shetty is a big believer in this and he talks about how monks use this to get into a better physical and spiritual state.
Yes indeed. It does work 🙂
This is a daily occurence for me, someone who struggles with anxiety. I’ve discovered several different ways to combat against this. Positivity is key.
Yes! Being positive is the key! Which strategies helped you the most?
Breath, meditation, organization with my thoughts, gratitude…