Hello Pointless Overthinkers. It’s me, Kalliope! Did you miss me? Hmm, don’t answer that, I’d rather you save your answers for the following morsels of munchable musings… you know they’re a real treat, coming from the chief muse herself. LOL
I want to you to define ‘growing up.’
- Is it just submitting your inner self to fit the expectations and standards which society term ‘acceptable’? And what are these?
- Is it just finishing school, getting a job, making money, being conservative and playing ‘happy family’?
- Yet, what if you have different standards, values, morals and beliefs?
- What if you don’t finish school?
- What if you can’t find a job?
- What if you don’t make a lot of money?
- What if you like being different?
- What if your family wasn’t ‘happy’?
- Does this make you worth any less as a person?
So many questions, and I wonder how many answers could there possibly be…
If I’ve overwhelmed you (or not?) by the scope of this line of inquiry, just begin with the header… Define what it means to ‘grow up’ within the context of society.
Please, contribute your answers. This is an honest and open forum. I want to foster and nourish free communication and the sharing of ideas. Don’t worry about offending anyone with your thoughts and ideas, because everyone gets offended by everything anyway.
(Having an opinion doesn’t mean you are right or wrong, it means you have thought about it)
Great question. I’m 45 and often feel the pressure to “grow up.” I have a job am financially independent but don’t have the house, kids, cars, like everyone else. I don’t want them. But I often feel left out although I have an active social life. Most people my age are coupled and “grown up.”
Do you consider yourself a grown up? And when you say you feel “left out”, in what way? As you have an active social life, and don’t want those markers of the “settled down”
Over the years, what I have learnt that growing up is knowing your true self and express yourself fully. It is learning whether you have to consider or ignore what others say about you. It is to know that happiness is a state of mind. And being financially independent.
I have also posted a topic on which I need others’ opinion. Do check it
https://mindoriginals.wordpress.com/2019/02/05/i-need-your-opinion-should-our-education-system-focus-on-individual-qualities-or-all-round-development/
I wondered where you went. Maybe being grown up means being able to do things, and make decisions independently? I think it’s good to hold on to a bit of child like traits. First of all, you get to learn more, and second, when people get involved to help they feel more invested and appreciated.
Hah, yeah, I hadn’t posted as I was freaking out and trying to focus on my own blog. What was the message I wanted to spread, for I felt a bit lost in all my thoughts and ideas and… pointless overthinkings… hahaha.
Do you see yourself as a grown up?
Yeah.
Have you ever been called out on it? I mean, anyone tell you to “grow up”? (despite you being grown up anyway)
Not in that way, unless they are joking about my sillyness. I dumbfound people when I tell them how old I am. They are like, “your how old?!” or “You have a kid that old?!”
Lol what do you mean? You come across as older than you are? Or that you come across as younger? Eeek I am the worst at figuring out or guessing people’s ages.
I think because I’m a small shorty every one assume that I am Young.
Hehe I’m short too. But not short short, 5’2″ so below average, but taller than petite? LOL
Growing up… IMO it’s having emotional maturity and being able to take care of yourself financially. I make exceptions there for the disabled that may have to reply on public assistance of course.
What constitutes emotional maturity?
Oh, man… I faintly remember this one time in art class in community college, every one was really freaked out that we might have to draw a nude model. When she unwrapped, she was wearing a bathing suit, and the whole class was so noticably relieved, the teacher told us to grow up!
Hahaha. No one was disappointed? LOL
I believe the term “grow up” is a convenient term used to pass judgement on someone because that someone may not live up to another’s expectations… I am what I am, that is all that I am and have no intentions of changing… 🙂
“Confidence is knowing who you are and not changing it a bit because of someone’s version of reality is not your reality.”― Shannon L. Alder
True. I also think that it is natural to pass judgement, for everyone judges stuff all the time. Approving or disapproving of someone’s behaviour or actions is not necessarily rejection of the person themself, and perhaps the criticism is an attempt to shift the individual away from an extreme or self destructive way of being?
That is possible but then again that individual may not believe their way is extreme or destructive, it is their life, their dream they are living, not someone else’s… I am sure that my life is looked upon with disapproval by many, but it is my happiness and I am not changing for someone who passes judgement based on their personal beliefs… 🙂
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do”.. Eleanor Roosevelt
I loved this response. It’s true. I’m still single because I find myself always wanting to change someone…and when I really think about it, maybe I am better off single.
Why do you want to change anyone?
I’m God. LOL. That’s the point…I need to think about it 😉
Thats fine. You can be god. I’m god, and metatron. And the holy spirit. I’m anything and everything in existence, and can be if I want to be. *snaps my fingers* I am suddenly a badger badger badger badger (mushroom mushroom!) Hhhssssss it’s a snnnaaahhhkke
Your heart will know when the time is right…. 🙂
“While you’re busy looking for the perfect person, you’ll probably miss the imperfect person who could make you perfectly happy”.
Yikes…struck in the heart with that comment…but true.
I believe that we “grow up” when we grasp our own personal responsibilities in life and then embrace the struggle to navigate those responsibilities. It could be kids, our job, our duty to society, etc. We each have different responsibilities in different contexts, but what we do with them indicates how “grown up” we are. That’s how I perceive it.
Wonderfully said
Growing up can be becoming boring, but I’m commenting more about how you opened the post, it sounds really odd.
I am an oddball by nature. So you may need to specify what about it was odd? The “miss me” or the “chief muse” or “munching on morsels”? Or something else entirely?
The phrase Pointless Overthinkers…
Oh! The blog is called “pointless overthinking” and I figured we’re all here because we like to indulge in pointless overthinking – that is, thinking for the sake of thinking and about any topic at all, not each fully defined and articulated idea has to serve a purpose. Therefore, there is no point, it is for fun.
I over think everything! Glad there’s a place for us to be validated.
Heck and yes!
Growing up is learning from each mistake, because that is humanity’s one redeeming trait. Although, there are people, as adults, who are as clumsy as children. They are children, even when their Identification Card proves them to be perhaps in their 50’s. Growing up is learning wisdom, and wisdom to me, is clarification. When we learn, we learn for the next trial, so that it is easier to face.
Growing up is a never ending process. My better half says I’m an 18 year old, but the clock says 60+. Growing up is taking care of the responsibilities and challenges life throws at you. Its learning that life is not just about you when have a family. Its gaining confidence and experience along the way. Its about making sacrifices and mistakes. Its learning what is really important along the way. I can enjoy being a child and a senior citizen in the same day because there is a lot of fun in both. And growing up doesn’t mean you have to leave fun out of the picture at all. Enjoy life. I believe your standards, morals, beliefs and values are always growing. At least I hope mine are.
My English teacher from high school had a great idea about growing up. She explained that when she was younger she would often look at the adults in her life and ask what they were doing, and that they never listened to her, or just seemed to not know what they were doing. As a child she vowed to never be the same way, but she realized she was grown up when she found herself doing the same exact things she vowed not to do.
I don’t normally reply when there have been so many good responses, but for you….
I think you’re grown up when you know your own strength and values; when to ask for help, and can appreciate all the gifts around you. You’ve learned from mistakes (and have more to learn) and you treat people with compassion and kindness, even if they don’t fit *your* definition of an adult or functional. It’s different for everyone, where some see people as “failures” for not hitting that 6 digit salary, others see real love and responsibility in someone who is doing what they are called to do.
your first sentence has brought a massive smile to my face (i’ve had a rough frustrating morning), so thank you. omg really, thanks for not only your words but the implication behind them 🙂
and your definition is glorious. xoxo
I’m sorry that your morning wasn’t glorious, but I’m pleased to have polished it slightly. 🙂 I’m also glad you like my definition 🙂
Interesting and similar views on my new blog, give it a read and tell me what you think! https://thetwordandsuch.wordpress.com
Two people have told me that going clubbing is “part of growing up”. I have never gone clubbing. I allowed it to bother me for a while. 😋
I find it to be overrated. I prefer gigs at a bar, or just hanging out in a local pub.