Why self-love is a challenge?

why self-love is a challenge
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

   It might sound tough, but we’re not flawless and we’re not perfect. Because we’re “only” humans. The thing is that from time to time we find it very hard to accept it when it comes to us, but we tend to be indulgent when it comes to other people. Yes, it is true and it can be very helpful to be tough with ourselves because it helps us raising our standards, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love ourselves when things don’t go as perfectly as we planned.

   When we think about ourselves, we tend to set some impossible standards and when we don’t reach them, we start to blame ourselves in a non-constructive way, a thing that will lower our strength and self-esteem. We tend to reject, blame and hate the things we don’t like about ourselves, which will slowly extend other parts we have.

   Sometimes we tend to try to find others to love those parts we reject and hate. This is not so good because if we show our hate towards those parts, how could others try to love them? We need to learn to love those “weak” parts of ourselves so we won’t need to try to find other people to love those parts. Is it easy? No, but we need to remember that we’re only humans. Sometimes we can do something to improve those weak parts so they won’t be weak anymore, but there are parts we cannot touch, which will stay the same. Since they are parts of ourselves, we need to accept them since we’re “stuck” with them for the rest of our lives.

   Self-love is a challenge because we don’t love ourselves as a whole, and the parts we don’t love are affecting everything. Nobody is perfect, but too many are trying.

   How do you deal with your “weak” parts?

26 thoughts on “Why self-love is a challenge?

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      1. Living and learning life is not easy if one is truly living life… sometimes one must feel pain to know and cherish life without pain, sometimes one must feel sorrow so one knows true happiness, sometimes one must feel heartache to know and cherish true love… it takes all of that (and perhaps more) to deal with life and another creature… the key is does one allow pain, sorrow, heartache to rule or does one learn and move on following ones dreams… 🙂

        “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, people we can’t live without but have to let go. “ ― Nancy Stephan

        Liked by 3 people

  1. I don’t view parts of me as “weak” more like broken. I look at awareness and healing as the path to self love and acceptance. Often times these broken parts were my survival skills long honed from childhood. So I also have to lend respect to my ability to attempt to self preserve even if they weren’t the greatest strategies.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. To quote RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

    I’ve got a lot of bits I’m not proud of, that I still look at and wonder where that came from. I also accept that I am who I am, and I have more good points going (if I were to keep score) than crappy ones. Sure there’s challenges, but being kind and compassionate with others can’t happen unless you’re also giving yourself that treatment.

    There’s also the assumption that if you love yourself you are vain or self centered. I’ve seen people who definitely are egocentric or “Me, me, me” and it seems to me that they don’t love themselves, which is why they need the outward appearance and reassurance.

    Excellent points and thought provoking, as always!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much for this awesome comment! If people love themselves, they wouldn’t seek for attention from others. It’s probably more of an facade and they try to make things to draw attention to “feed” the ego. I don’t think this is related to self-love, but more with narcissism.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. “When we think about ourselves, we tend to set some impossible standards”

    This statement is so true! For ourselves, we want the best. So we push ourselves too much. Force and harm our minds.

    Loved the post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. i looovveddd this!!
    i think when you love yourself; you glow from within, you attract people with your energy and raise the spirits of those around you. i think its the most important form of love and in the words of ru paul; ‘if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you’ gonna love somebody else?’ 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

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