Why self-love is a challenge?

why self-love is a challenge
Drawing by Adrian Serghie

   It might sound tough, but we’re not flawless and we’re not perfect. Because we’re “only” humans. The thing is that from time to time we find it very hard to accept it when it comes to us, but we tend to be indulgent when it comes to other people. Yes, it is true and it can be very helpful to be tough with ourselves because it helps us raising our standards, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t love ourselves when things don’t go as perfectly as we planned.

   When we think about ourselves, we tend to set some impossible standards and when we don’t reach them, we start to blame ourselves in a non-constructive way, a thing that will lower our strength and self-esteem. We tend to reject, blame and hate the things we don’t like about ourselves, which will slowly extend other parts we have.

   Sometimes we tend to try to find others to love those parts we reject and hate. This is not so good because if we show our hate towards those parts, how could others try to love them? We need to learn to love those “weak” parts of ourselves so we won’t need to try to find other people to love those parts. Is it easy? No, but we need to remember that we’re only humans. Sometimes we can do something to improve those weak parts so they won’t be weak anymore, but there are parts we cannot touch, which will stay the same. Since they are parts of ourselves, we need to accept them since we’re “stuck” with them for the rest of our lives.

   Self-love is a challenge because we don’t love ourselves as a whole, and the parts we don’t love are affecting everything. Nobody is perfect, but too many are trying.

   How do you deal with your “weak” parts?

46 thoughts on “Why self-love is a challenge?

  1. Follow the heart, cannot go wrong… 🙂

    “It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.” Agnes Repplier

      1. Living and learning life is not easy if one is truly living life… sometimes one must feel pain to know and cherish life without pain, sometimes one must feel sorrow so one knows true happiness, sometimes one must feel heartache to know and cherish true love… it takes all of that (and perhaps more) to deal with life and another creature… the key is does one allow pain, sorrow, heartache to rule or does one learn and move on following ones dreams… 🙂

        “There are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, people we can’t live without but have to let go. “ ― Nancy Stephan

    1. Well, there are people that believe and love God, but they don’t love themselves because they believe they failed in His eyes. How should those people deal with that?

  2. I don’t view parts of me as “weak” more like broken. I look at awareness and healing as the path to self love and acceptance. Often times these broken parts were my survival skills long honed from childhood. So I also have to lend respect to my ability to attempt to self preserve even if they weren’t the greatest strategies.

  3. To quote RuPaul, “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?”

    I’ve got a lot of bits I’m not proud of, that I still look at and wonder where that came from. I also accept that I am who I am, and I have more good points going (if I were to keep score) than crappy ones. Sure there’s challenges, but being kind and compassionate with others can’t happen unless you’re also giving yourself that treatment.

    There’s also the assumption that if you love yourself you are vain or self centered. I’ve seen people who definitely are egocentric or “Me, me, me” and it seems to me that they don’t love themselves, which is why they need the outward appearance and reassurance.

    Excellent points and thought provoking, as always!

    1. Thank you very much for this awesome comment! If people love themselves, they wouldn’t seek for attention from others. It’s probably more of an facade and they try to make things to draw attention to “feed” the ego. I don’t think this is related to self-love, but more with narcissism.

  4. “When we think about ourselves, we tend to set some impossible standards”

    This statement is so true! For ourselves, we want the best. So we push ourselves too much. Force and harm our minds.

    Loved the post!

    1. I’m glad you loved it! In my opinion, it’s not a problem that we want the best, but if we set those standards just to keep us into some negative limiting state, it’s not helpful…

  5. i looovveddd this!!
    i think when you love yourself; you glow from within, you attract people with your energy and raise the spirits of those around you. i think its the most important form of love and in the words of ru paul; ‘if you can’t love yourself, how the hell you’ gonna love somebody else?’ 🥰

    1. I love that you loved it! <3 It might be easier for people who don't love themselves to accept other people's mistakes and flaws, but it's harder to love someone for who they are…

      1. Exactly! I want people to love me for who I am, including my weaknesses. It also allows the friends I have to love me and accept me for who I am.

  6. I run away from it. Because it’s easier. If you try to face it , it seems like an endless battle.

  7. Its so interesting to read someone else’s perspective on this. I think self love is such an interesting and unique journey and the challenges we face are so individualistic. A great read and a great post to come across as we share our self love journey!

  8. Self love used to be a challenge for me, but once I found it my life changed. I love when people post on this topic. I hope this reaches the people who need it.

      1. My husband is very philosophical. He had lots of conversations that made a lot of sense about self love and beauty. His wisdom helped me discover it. I began to just sit bare in front of a mirror and for every negative thought I found a positive. I dont know as cheesy and cliche as it sounds I started to see that inner shine reflected on my surface and I began to love myself as a whole (as you stated) and stopped picking a part pieces the flaws kinda disappeared.

  9. To me self love is embracing who you are, accepting your flaws and altering your mindset to see things in a positive light and doing things that make you happy no matter what anyone else thinks! This post is really inspirational
    Kristy at kforkristy.blog

    1. Thank you for reading and for sharing your thoughts! The think is that sometimes it’s very hard to embrace who we are because we don;t like that and we believe it cannot be changed.

  10. I think that self love begins with forgiveness. Not just forgiving what others have done to you, but also forgiving what you have done to yourself. Forgiving yourself for being to harsh, for being too passive, for being too scared, and for being too weak. Forgiving yourself for failing, for quitting, and for never trying. Forgiving yourself is the first step to loving yourself.

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