Love. And anger, although this depends on the person I am with. If it is someone I know well, I am more likely to snap. Mostly because I find it difficult to express my anger towards people I am less familiar with, or even strangers with, so I store it up. One wrong word can trigger me then, and it’s usually a friend or family member who gets the heat. So my loved ones get it all, both the love and the anger, haha!
I am hesitant when it comes to rejecting people, I am not sure what emotion that would be! I guess a need to improve communication due to advoidance of confrontations.
I has a phobia of showing emotions that will get me beaten with a rake (my phone predicted “beaten with a bra”). I not as good as I like to be at not showing emotion.
Anger. I have been conditioned over the years to believe that my anger, all of my feelings really (unless it’s happiness,) are inconsequential compared to others. My feelings have always been pushed aside or ignored, so I’ve gotten used to keeping most of what I feel bottled up. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s what I do.
probably love and affection because im not clingy or the one who always says ‘i love you’ and stuff. but i read somewhere that surprise and shock is the emotion that is hardest to express – whether you are faking it or not – because your reaction will just give you away easily.
i ask if youve eaten or how was your sleep and i reply to messages so quick and pick up calls even calls give me anxiety?? always being there for ppl i truly care abt
Before seeking help, it was instant rage/defensiveness. I didn’t have the tools/diagnosis to grasp what was happening. When it hurts, automatic yelling and screaming and building the wall higher. Now, though not perfect, I am able to walk away. Hold my tongue. Pray.
Unfortunately, there tends to be a lot of passive aggression and avoidance. I can also be pretty bitchy when I’m starting to get pissed off with someone.
Anger. I feel anger as we all do. But my extreme fear of confrontation means that in an argument or even hearing a heated discussion (don’t have to be taking part) I inwardly back down instantly. It’s one of my worst qualities. People tell me I’m strong… As soon as confrontation arises I find out how weak I truly am. And that hurts.
I can’t speak when someone confronts me… I internally shut down! Rabbit in the headlights syndrome. Afterwards I get all these brilliant ideas of things I should have said and how I should have stood up for myself. Hindsight is a wonderful thing… 😒
Two inches tall… Like a child being wrongly accused of bad behaviour but unable to speak out against it. For a woman of 6’0 tall it’s hardly like many people speak down to me physically, women especially… But in a confrontation I may as well be 2″ tall…
I think I have a different issue. I find it hard not to show my emotions. To hide that, I sometimes end up controlling too much, in which case I show no emotion. So, I am at the extremes in this. But in general, if I feel something and I need to express it, I will.
I hate to show my vulnerabilities. I find it hard to ask for help as I’m the ‘strong’ friend. I’m usually the person that everybody comes to so when I’m asked how I am it’s always ‘I’m fine’ because I don’t want to be a burden or annoy other people, esp when I know they are going through a hard time and my issues seem silly in comparison. Saying that, I know that my facial expressions are always showing my emotions, my daughter tells me that I can’t lie about how I feel as they can read it off my face, esp if I’m angry or disgusted by something/one
So your body, especially your face, do express your feelings, but you try to hold them down so others don’t get annoyed. How do they react when they read the feelings off your face?
Yeah to a point. Not everybody wants to hear what you have to say. I don’t sugarcoat things so I know I can be quite blunt at times. My kids say I have the ‘look’. People’s reactions depend on the situation tho, I can either hear ‘I can see it written all over your face!’ Or they shake their head at me and we then start to discuss things. I don’t see it as a bad thing it’s more of a natural reaction to me, like 55% of our non verbal communication is body language.
I easily express all of them (true Italian blood here…), but I am not the best one when I have to apologise. I am trying to improve this, though. And, moreover, there are some feelings towards specific persons I will never manage to express. Those are persons I have “history” with, from my past or childhood, and with whom I created a “wall” between each other to protect myself. Once I reach that level, expression becomes impossible for me.
All of them.
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How come?
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I get overloaded easily when I feel an emotion so I struggle to show an appropriate amount for the situation I’m in.
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Confrontation, and my hurt feelings.
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Confrontation with yourself or with others?
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Love and affection (i.e. hugging, cuddling, back rubs, and other things)
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I’m going with this one too
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Me too 😔
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Interesting! In your opinion, why is this a struggle for you?
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You know, I’m not completely sure. Emotional detachment in my childhood?
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Maybe…
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Anger and fury since i’m always happy!!!
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I hope you don’t have to express those too often 🙂
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Love. And anger, although this depends on the person I am with. If it is someone I know well, I am more likely to snap. Mostly because I find it difficult to express my anger towards people I am less familiar with, or even strangers with, so I store it up. One wrong word can trigger me then, and it’s usually a friend or family member who gets the heat. So my loved ones get it all, both the love and the anger, haha!
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So you store it up with strangers and you unload those feelings on friends and family, right?
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Sometimes, unfortunately, yes.
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I am hesitant when it comes to rejecting people, I am not sure what emotion that would be! I guess a need to improve communication due to advoidance of confrontations.
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So whenever someone asks you to do something, you tend to accept that rather then rejecting it?
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Sometimes. I am much better at saying no to people than I was before.
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I has a phobia of showing emotions that will get me beaten with a rake (my phone predicted “beaten with a bra”). I not as good as I like to be at not showing emotion.
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What kind of emotions can get you beaten with a… rake?
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Lol, that is a reference from Dead Milk Men’s song, “Gorilla Girl”. Pretty much anything socially unacceptable.
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Anger. I have been conditioned over the years to believe that my anger, all of my feelings really (unless it’s happiness,) are inconsequential compared to others. My feelings have always been pushed aside or ignored, so I’ve gotten used to keeping most of what I feel bottled up. I know it’s not healthy, but it’s what I do.
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I understand. Does it happen to un-bottle all those feelings to make room for others?
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probably love and affection because im not clingy or the one who always says ‘i love you’ and stuff. but i read somewhere that surprise and shock is the emotion that is hardest to express – whether you are faking it or not – because your reaction will just give you away easily.
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How do you express love and affection?
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i ask if youve eaten or how was your sleep and i reply to messages so quick and pick up calls even calls give me anxiety?? always being there for ppl i truly care abt
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Hurt-comes our as anger
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Same
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So hard
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I know!
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😩😩
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What’s your behavior when this happens?
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Before seeking help, it was instant rage/defensiveness. I didn’t have the tools/diagnosis to grasp what was happening. When it hurts, automatic yelling and screaming and building the wall higher. Now, though not perfect, I am able to walk away. Hold my tongue. Pray.
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Feeling defeated or weak. Those are hard to express for me.
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How come?
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I don’t know… I think it’s my oldest sibling syndrome. I feel like I have it together all the time. I haven’t figured it out myself.
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Surprise. Everything has been done before. We as the human race have beaten that poor dead horse for too long.
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What was the last thing that surprised you?
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Being born🤐
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I’m going to have to say anger.
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How do you behave when you’re angry?
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Unfortunately, there tends to be a lot of passive aggression and avoidance. I can also be pretty bitchy when I’m starting to get pissed off with someone.
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Anger. I feel anger as we all do. But my extreme fear of confrontation means that in an argument or even hearing a heated discussion (don’t have to be taking part) I inwardly back down instantly. It’s one of my worst qualities. People tell me I’m strong… As soon as confrontation arises I find out how weak I truly am. And that hurts.
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What makes you think you’re weak within a confrontation?
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I can’t speak when someone confronts me… I internally shut down! Rabbit in the headlights syndrome. Afterwards I get all these brilliant ideas of things I should have said and how I should have stood up for myself. Hindsight is a wonderful thing… 😒
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And how do you feel in those moments?
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Two inches tall… Like a child being wrongly accused of bad behaviour but unable to speak out against it. For a woman of 6’0 tall it’s hardly like many people speak down to me physically, women especially… But in a confrontation I may as well be 2″ tall…
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I think I have a different issue. I find it hard not to show my emotions. To hide that, I sometimes end up controlling too much, in which case I show no emotion. So, I am at the extremes in this. But in general, if I feel something and I need to express it, I will.
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And you do it regardless who’s with you in that moment?
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I am usually open about feelings even with my professors and I did that before with my employers too. So I guess it is a yes.
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I hate to show my vulnerabilities. I find it hard to ask for help as I’m the ‘strong’ friend. I’m usually the person that everybody comes to so when I’m asked how I am it’s always ‘I’m fine’ because I don’t want to be a burden or annoy other people, esp when I know they are going through a hard time and my issues seem silly in comparison. Saying that, I know that my facial expressions are always showing my emotions, my daughter tells me that I can’t lie about how I feel as they can read it off my face, esp if I’m angry or disgusted by something/one
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So your body, especially your face, do express your feelings, but you try to hold them down so others don’t get annoyed. How do they react when they read the feelings off your face?
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Yeah to a point. Not everybody wants to hear what you have to say. I don’t sugarcoat things so I know I can be quite blunt at times. My kids say I have the ‘look’. People’s reactions depend on the situation tho, I can either hear ‘I can see it written all over your face!’ Or they shake their head at me and we then start to discuss things. I don’t see it as a bad thing it’s more of a natural reaction to me, like 55% of our non verbal communication is body language.
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In ancient days, I would agree with anger – but now I express nearly all my feelings straight. And – as I hope – in a respectful way.
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How did you manage to learn to express nearly all your feelings straight?
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I easily express all of them (true Italian blood here…), but I am not the best one when I have to apologise. I am trying to improve this, though. And, moreover, there are some feelings towards specific persons I will never manage to express. Those are persons I have “history” with, from my past or childhood, and with whom I created a “wall” between each other to protect myself. Once I reach that level, expression becomes impossible for me.
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What can you do to make it possible?
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At this point, very little (too many years and things have passed) and I think I got over it… 🙂
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Sympathy!
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How come is that a struggle?
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Not sure?🤔 I have it for those close to me like my family.
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