Lately, I’ve been thinking about the fact that we know and meet with lots of people and we label some of them as being our friends. But are they really our friends? What does being a friend really means? It’s about getting in touch and meet once in a month or so and talk about random sh*t? It’s about helping each other? It’s about sharing some deep wishes or secrets?
I know there are many people we call friends, but I’ve noticed that some connections are stronger than others. Maybe this friends thing has some differentiation criteria, thus there are different levels of friendship. Or maybe the people with whom we have strong connections are really our friends and the rest of them are just acquaintances.
”Does it matter?” I don’t really know. I guess that if you feel compelled to keep the “connection” with certain people you don’t like that much, it’s a sign that they’re not friends even if you might call them that way. If negative feelings arise from forced meetings, then it probably is a sign to end the “relationship” because life is too short for sh*t like that.
In my opinion, real friends are the ones you enjoy getting together with. The ones you love to help and they love helping you. They’re the ones that make you feel comfortable showing your true self. The true friends are the people you love having around no matter what. I hate wasting time, and doing it with people that bring no value in my life makes no exception. Life is too short and I believe we need to be careful how and with whom we choose to spend our time with.
From all the friends you have, with how many of them you love spending your time with?
There are many kinds of friends. They may be casual one or they may be your family-like friends. They all have a place in your life. The trick is not to burden anyone with too many expectations.
Agreed.
👍
True, maybe they have. But if it is a burden, maybe they shouldn’t have…
It’s a lesson learned in life, the hard way that too many expectations can hurt us , as that results in heart break.
I was talking to a friend about this recently. Like, how does a person determine what level of connection equals friendship? Are there people with whom I’ve had frequent but shallow conversations with out there thinking we’re good friends because we discuss the weather every Tuesday? Are there people I’ve spilled intimate details about my life to who think that’s just how people chat?
I did a piece on different kinds of friends: http://www.papagnipages.wordpress.com. Let me know what you think.
Thank you very much for sharing!
Interesting questions. Maybe this “friendship thing” is different from one to another…
There are many levels of friends but the problem comes when you tell people what level there on and they get disgruntled when they are not where they would expect to be. It’s a fine art keeping friends.
It is a fine art to keep friends, but should it be a struggle or it should be something natural?
It should be natural for if it is a struggle something isn’t right.
My best friend is me…I love to time spend with myself…🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Awesoooome! Ditto
😅😅😅😅😅😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩
Thought I was the only one
I learned the hard way that fake friends are not worth having. What I have left are the real deal; not as many as before but true friends worth keeping.
Yes, true friends worth keeping. How did you find out that they were fake friends?
Luckily, I love spending time with a great deal of them. My problem is time to keep in touch with everyone and distances from some. But we work hard at overcoming those also.
Nice! So you know who your real friends are! That’s great! 😀
Probably 3-4
That’s great! How often do you meet them?
At least once a week
I love spending time with almost all my friends, because I don’t have a lot of friends.
But seriously, I think we still need to make ‘friends’ with even those people we don’t like. After all, they may become our customers some day.
On Sun, Mar 10, 2019, 18:44 Pointless Overthinking wrote:
> Bogdan (DM) posted: ” Lately, I’ve been thinking about the fact that we > know and meet with lots of people and we label some of them as being our > friends. But are they really our friends? What does being a friend really > means? It’s about getting in touch and meet once in a ” >
Maybe, but I guess the question is if it is worth the effort.
In most cases, I believe it is.
We do not have to get too close, though.
I only have a handful of friends. I call everyone else acquaintances. It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known someone, if I haven’t shown them the real me, I never consider them a “friend.”
Nice perspective! 😀
as long as one is there for you and they dont judge you but instead give you solutions to move on…..they are worth keeping.
Yes, they are. As long as you’re willing to do the same.
Good question… A friend is really an enemy waiting for a good chance… I am 52 and I have become very skeptical about friendship. I had ‘friends’ who took my money or who lied to me blatantly or who declared their friendship and loyalty periodically until I went down in life (then, like roaches at the switch of a light bulb, they were gone). No, there can be common interests and that can be a good thing, but the only real friend you can count on (or not) is yourself.
Maybe people’s narcissism eventually comes up when the opportunity arises. I just hope there are people in this world who realize that narcissism is not the only path in life.
The problem, I think, is that the majority of people is oriented to superficial things, not deeply commited to inner goals or development. In other words, 99% of people just want more money/objects/status so they would sell their mothers for money.
Friendship is undersotood very superficially and when tested (when you need your friend’s help or he/she yours) it breaks easily. This is a hard lesson in life.
Very few, I am afraid! 🙁
Do you keep in touch with all the rest?
Usually I am the one who does all the trying and then I am hurt.
Right now none of them. None of them call or talk to me anymore so … I’m on none
That’s tough. In your opinion, why did this happen?
I try to call everyone from my school days..4-5 years later they don’t respond to calls
They were your friends back in school?
It needs a long long time to know who are the real frineds of your. No matter how long you guys get to know each other. If one of you don’t show his/her true color, the true self then who knows? I learned the hard way that friend is hard to find but finding someone you can called soulmate is much more harder.
I think I am fortunate to have a handful of friends “who will drop everything when I need them.” and, I would do the same for them. Rest are acquaintances. Good to have them in my life, to enjoy each other’s company and share interests.
That’s great! You really are fortunate. Not too many people can say the same 🙂