I stay quiet, focus on my kids, and try to remember to breathe
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Socializing with people who are not my friends, family or loved-ones, physically. I am good with one-on-one interaction, maybe even with two people, or via social media… but if there are a lot of people, it causes me unnecessary stress. I am always worried that I might offend them and that I may give off a bad vibe even if I don’t mean anything negative.
I understand that. The thing is that people have their own beliefs so no matter how careful you are, someone can still get offended just because he/she had some crazy idea or impression created by his/hers own demons…
Thank you! I’ve had a few close encounters so I must say that statement is true <3
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Leaving my cabin, or listening to the news on the radio. The worlds problems are so big, and I feel as if it is all on my shoulders. Even as a hermit, I feel threatened by the worlds insanity. (I like answering your questions, it’s cathartic. Thanks for taking the time.)
Thank you very much for reading and for answering to them! In my opinion, most of the world’s problems are not as big as media tries to show them. The bigger they seem, the more attention they draw, and in these days, attention = money.
Going to work every day and wondering what Coworker X is going to find wrong with my work today. I am always on edge because this person goes out of her way to find fault with everything I do.
To some extent yes. She likes to control everything, but it seems she really does not like me so I get it the worst. It has been noticed by the bosses and I believe they are dealing with it behind the scenes.
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When I get apprehensive of facing the consequences of a blunder I have committed.
On Mon, Mar 11, 2019, 20:05 Pointless Overthinking wrote:
> Bogdan (DM) posted: “What circumstances create the most anxiety for you? ” >
Yes. And helps us avoid a similar blunder in the future.
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It’ mostly work-related. I took so much stress on me when I have been “obliged” to do my job and also other’s one, that now I go deeply anxious when I am asked to deal with stuff which is not technically “mine”, related to my role, to the things I can handle and I am fond of. I hate it -.-
It seems that people trust you do a great job and that you are better at many things, not only your job. Yes, it’s not fair, but it’s an opportunity to show more of your skills 🙂
SOmetimes you just want people to want/like you so do whatever it takes. Then, paradoxically, they value you less, since you are ‘cheap’. This is a big mistake because you place the core of your life OUTSIDE yourself (in others) and this makes you weak, sort of an object. After some time in this predicament, you lose track of yourself and all becomes fuzzy; you are a leave dancing in the storm and this is extremely stressful. We need to go back inside ourselves, rebuild ourselves from the inside, focus on what is important FOR US, REALLY.
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I TOTALLY get this. Guilty of doing the same.
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Mostly, having to confront anything. The top confrontations: crowd of people, social blunder, being misunderstood, sticking up for injustice (I try for everyone, but actions against my children or myself are usually top concerns- I have worthiness issues), the door bell ringing. I wish my body would stop trying to save me from literally everything.
Honestly Bogdan, almost every issue in my life right now is related to poor self esteem or not addressing something because of it. I have been terrible since I was put on bed rest while I was pregnant (2016) and gained too much weight. Even after I have lost most of the weight, I am struggling. Postpartum is a bitch.
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It is… Were there any moments when it didn’t manifested? Can you think about such moments?
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Social interaction in general and any aspect that involves it. Just the thought of attempting to talk to someone I don’t know or I don’t know well makes me want to hide and cry.
I believe my fear of doing the wrong thing and upsetting people is what caused my social anxiety. I was always bullied in elementary school and middle school because I was different and because I was way too sensitive when it came to my own emotional feelings. So because of that, I rarely ever show my emotions and I’m afraid that if I try and interact with someone I don’t know, I’m going to go through the same pain I went through when I was younger.
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Stepping out of my comfort zone, being somewhere new, meeting new people and but the killer is going to the dentist!
Depending on my mood, I can either avoid at all costs but then I feel like I’m being a wuss. I normally try to talk myself into pushing my comfort zone and look for the positives each encounter brings. I use it as a mean of personal growth. As for the dentist, it’s been a phobia since I was a child. I know after 20 mins I’ll be ok and be going home but no matter what, I gotta be numbed and I push my body as hard into the chair as possible, my nails dig into my hands and I shake. Once I get to my car, I cry and let it out and then go home for a cuppa and breathe.
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Work.
I have a friend who always says, “it’s not the work, it’s the people.” On some level, I agree with him. However, there are also circumstances beyond my control, that are creating a great deal of anxiety. For example, and don’t ask me to explain how they legally get away with it, but, even though I work 45 to 50 hours a week, the company I work for only pays me for 37.5 hours a week. This creates further money issues down the road as I try to pay my bills and take care of my home. I’m am looking for a different job, I don’t even know if I want to be a journalist anymore, but so far nothing has really panned out. I’ve had a lot of interviews, but no offers.
Taking my kids out in public anywhere, specifically my daughter. Her sperm donor made it very clear that one day he’s going to take her from me and I’ll never know when it happens. I’m just so hyper aware of my surroundings all the time. Every new car that parks in our apartment parking lot, every new neighbor, any new person that I meet is a possible abductor. I used to let it control me, but now it’s just motivation to make sure that my kids are as safe as possible.
He is someone who tries to get around the law, and thinks he is above the law. But if I came after him legally in any way he would fold quicker than a house of cards. He’s a coward, who manipulates to get what he wants, but if confronted crumbles.
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That’s good to know. Use it to keep him away from you!
When I have to be around family members I don’t care for and vice versa
I know that feeling… how do you deal with that? I usually stay quiet or I slowly use sarcasm to get myself out of the situation.
I stay quiet, focus on my kids, and try to remember to breathe
Socializing with people who are not my friends, family or loved-ones, physically. I am good with one-on-one interaction, maybe even with two people, or via social media… but if there are a lot of people, it causes me unnecessary stress. I am always worried that I might offend them and that I may give off a bad vibe even if I don’t mean anything negative.
I understand that. The thing is that people have their own beliefs so no matter how careful you are, someone can still get offended just because he/she had some crazy idea or impression created by his/hers own demons…
True. I always tell this to myself to and try to move on. Sometimes this still affects me.
The dentist chair.
Oh yeah! That makes me anxious too. Thank God the dentist is ok…
Watching my girlfriend flirting
Have you talked to her about this?
Walking alone at night through a parking lot
Your surviving instinct is strong.
Thank you! I’ve had a few close encounters so I must say that statement is true <3
Leaving my cabin, or listening to the news on the radio. The worlds problems are so big, and I feel as if it is all on my shoulders. Even as a hermit, I feel threatened by the worlds insanity. (I like answering your questions, it’s cathartic. Thanks for taking the time.)
Thank you very much for reading and for answering to them! In my opinion, most of the world’s problems are not as big as media tries to show them. The bigger they seem, the more attention they draw, and in these days, attention = money.
Family parties 😬
I hope there are not so many in the course of an year…
Instability and people (crowds over three people)
What about crowds make you feel anxious?
Randomness…not knowing what they’re thinking. Crowded
When you are misunderstood
Oh yeah! I deeply relate to that!
Going to work every day and wondering what Coworker X is going to find wrong with my work today. I am always on edge because this person goes out of her way to find fault with everything I do.
Does she do that with others as well?
To some extent yes. She likes to control everything, but it seems she really does not like me so I get it the worst. It has been noticed by the bosses and I believe they are dealing with it behind the scenes.
When I get apprehensive of facing the consequences of a blunder I have committed.
On Mon, Mar 11, 2019, 20:05 Pointless Overthinking wrote:
> Bogdan (DM) posted: “What circumstances create the most anxiety for you? ” >
Well, each blunder is a lesson 🙂
Yes. And helps us avoid a similar blunder in the future.
It’ mostly work-related. I took so much stress on me when I have been “obliged” to do my job and also other’s one, that now I go deeply anxious when I am asked to deal with stuff which is not technically “mine”, related to my role, to the things I can handle and I am fond of. I hate it -.-
It seems that people trust you do a great job and that you are better at many things, not only your job. Yes, it’s not fair, but it’s an opportunity to show more of your skills 🙂
Feeling that my life is not under my control, that other people can do to me whatever they want.
Where does that feeling come from?
SOmetimes you just want people to want/like you so do whatever it takes. Then, paradoxically, they value you less, since you are ‘cheap’. This is a big mistake because you place the core of your life OUTSIDE yourself (in others) and this makes you weak, sort of an object. After some time in this predicament, you lose track of yourself and all becomes fuzzy; you are a leave dancing in the storm and this is extremely stressful. We need to go back inside ourselves, rebuild ourselves from the inside, focus on what is important FOR US, REALLY.
I TOTALLY get this. Guilty of doing the same.
Mostly, having to confront anything. The top confrontations: crowd of people, social blunder, being misunderstood, sticking up for injustice (I try for everyone, but actions against my children or myself are usually top concerns- I have worthiness issues), the door bell ringing. I wish my body would stop trying to save me from literally everything.
Would you say it’s related to a low self-esteem?
Honestly Bogdan, almost every issue in my life right now is related to poor self esteem or not addressing something because of it. I have been terrible since I was put on bed rest while I was pregnant (2016) and gained too much weight. Even after I have lost most of the weight, I am struggling. Postpartum is a bitch.
It is… Were there any moments when it didn’t manifested? Can you think about such moments?
Social interaction in general and any aspect that involves it. Just the thought of attempting to talk to someone I don’t know or I don’t know well makes me want to hide and cry.
In your opinion, where is this coming from?
I believe my fear of doing the wrong thing and upsetting people is what caused my social anxiety. I was always bullied in elementary school and middle school because I was different and because I was way too sensitive when it came to my own emotional feelings. So because of that, I rarely ever show my emotions and I’m afraid that if I try and interact with someone I don’t know, I’m going to go through the same pain I went through when I was younger.
Stepping out of my comfort zone, being somewhere new, meeting new people and but the killer is going to the dentist!
How do you deal with it? Do you try to confront it or you try to avoid it?
Depending on my mood, I can either avoid at all costs but then I feel like I’m being a wuss. I normally try to talk myself into pushing my comfort zone and look for the positives each encounter brings. I use it as a mean of personal growth. As for the dentist, it’s been a phobia since I was a child. I know after 20 mins I’ll be ok and be going home but no matter what, I gotta be numbed and I push my body as hard into the chair as possible, my nails dig into my hands and I shake. Once I get to my car, I cry and let it out and then go home for a cuppa and breathe.
Work.
I have a friend who always says, “it’s not the work, it’s the people.” On some level, I agree with him. However, there are also circumstances beyond my control, that are creating a great deal of anxiety. For example, and don’t ask me to explain how they legally get away with it, but, even though I work 45 to 50 hours a week, the company I work for only pays me for 37.5 hours a week. This creates further money issues down the road as I try to pay my bills and take care of my home. I’m am looking for a different job, I don’t even know if I want to be a journalist anymore, but so far nothing has really panned out. I’ve had a lot of interviews, but no offers.
So it’s not the work, it’s the sh*tty company. I hope you’ll receive an offer soon enough…
Taking my kids out in public anywhere, specifically my daughter. Her sperm donor made it very clear that one day he’s going to take her from me and I’ll never know when it happens. I’m just so hyper aware of my surroundings all the time. Every new car that parks in our apartment parking lot, every new neighbor, any new person that I meet is a possible abductor. I used to let it control me, but now it’s just motivation to make sure that my kids are as safe as possible.
It is very tough to be hyper aware all the time. Can he do that from a legal perspective?
He is someone who tries to get around the law, and thinks he is above the law. But if I came after him legally in any way he would fold quicker than a house of cards. He’s a coward, who manipulates to get what he wants, but if confronted crumbles.
That’s good to know. Use it to keep him away from you!