I know you’ll probably say that your family and things like that, but think about your daily life. How much time per day do you spend getting mad about a sh*tty cashier or some crazy stupid drivers or some rude co-worker compared to how much time per day do you feel your love for your family? When some random person makes you mad, does that love for your family and friends help you?
Ok, it might sound a little strange, but when some strangers have the power to change your mood however they want, they might be more important for you than they should. And this is probably related to some core beliefs you have and when those strangers say something that interfere with them, the amygdala fires up and your emotions are all over the place.
The thing is that there are so many things that can influence our mood and when that happens, we tend to forget about the most important things we have in life. We tend to forget what’s important just because something or someone steals a moment of our life. We tend to spend countless minutes analyzing seconds. And the problem is not the countless minutes, the problem is that we get to the wrong conclusion and we don’t actually realize that the core beliefs are the problem, not the people or the situations.
Thinking about this, how often do you let other people or situations control your emotions?
That was great really enjoyed your blog and needed it as well
Thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed it! What makes you say you needed it? How does your life look like?
Having peace is extremely important to me. I don’t want others to be able to interrupt my peace with their attitude or negative energy. I try to obtain this by remaining humble and not taking this personally.
Awesome! I believe that not taking things personally is the best way to handle other people’s shit.
Always a huge fan of your blog post, they truly help me to stop and think!
Thank you very much for taking your time to read and to share your thoughts! What kind of posts help you the most?
great question and important topic. i let people get me upset way more than i should, i know i shouldn’t give strangers such power and i work hard at keeping it together and send love! great topic!
Thank you! What do you do to diminish the power you give others?
great question………
more often than I should 🙁 especially when husband’s away.
What can you do to diminish that negative influence?
generally I go away & reflect on things. Time & distance, putting things into perspective I suppose.
Too damn much!!! But I’m getting better-focusing on my values not theirs. I can’t change or control them. Only me
Yes, exactly! We cannot change other people! sure, we might say something that can help them change, but it’s only their decision.
Why should I let them? If you let others control your feelings you are not yourself. Never react, always respond that is my number one rule. And to other side, when someone is upset with me I am not reacting because this is not my business. When you learn to do this automatically it’s amazing! 🌺🌺🌺 Love your posts
Thank you very much! What helped you learn to do this automatically?
Only consistent mindset work 😉
It takes some time but at the end I can always control my emotions well
That’s awesome! What helps you retain yourself in the first place so you won’t react based on the triggered emotions?
When you think clearly about the situation, and decide what is right to do. Also I never get triggered too fast. First I have my perspective of whole thing and react according to that.
Great post, inspirational. 🌸
Thank you very much!
U can change others but only urself. Professional life is so stressful but I keep emotions away. Recently my personal life was destroyed due to emotions so I just pray, watch TV, and enjoy nature.
I’m very sorry you have to go through such times. Would it help you to share what happened?
Yes I share
Shared
Do you feel relieved after sharing your situation?
My situation is permanent. I wish it could be relieved by sharing.
I’m very sorry for this…
I liked this so much! It’s totally true. We often give so much power to stupid daily stuff instead of focusing on the really important things and persons. We should develop a universal way to avoid this as much as we can!
I think this is related to the inner dialogue. As long as we counter those stupid thoughts and reactions and we switch that energy towards what’s important, I think we can diminish the influence of not-so-important things…
Thanks, Bogdan, for this piece. Over the years, I’ve noticed something interesting about myself. When things get really chaotic and seem to be going to shit, i have this weird ability to get really calm and Zen about all the chaos that’s swirling around. I think this ability began when I was living in Egypt and we had the 2011 Revolution. (Remember the “Arab Spring”?) The whole society was coming apart and yet I really stayed mostly very calm. I was so pleased to discover this about myself and now I try to cultivate this part of my personality every chance I get.
This is awesome! It seems that you have the same ability Gary Vaynerchuk talks about: the ability to become comfortable in massive chaos! I’m sure this superpower suites you well. Thank you for reading and for sharing this experience!
This!!
One thing I got from my time at a templestay is to not let your emotions carry you astray. You are always you. Your emotions are your emotions. They are NOT you. In a heated moment, it is good to take a step back and see yourself as separate from your emotions. Question: what is causing my emotions to behave this way? I am not this way. How should I behave then?
There are so many positives in life, I try not to let the small negatives with strangers affect my mood and become time sucks.
I think part of this is life experiences. You reach a point where the negative just isn’t worth it. My grandmother always said “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Don’t give them the vinegar – maybe our positive/less negative reaction is just what they need. We never know what the other people are going through.
Yes, we never do. And that’s why it is so important to stop assuming we know how other’s life really is…
Preach! Taking control of our thought life and choosing rejoice despite circumstances is the key to a fruitful and healthy life.
Yes, it is! 😀
it is so relatable. It just reminds me of my dad whenever he came home after a long day, a tough one at work with the sad face and he was easily to be mad and lose his temper with everything happened in the quality time with our family. I and my mom just never knew where all the storm came from