The world is big, right? Billions of people trying to do stuff. And most of those people have feelings. If it is to think about how those people feel, how often do you do it? And how much do you care about what people feel and do every day?
If you’re like most people, you probably don’t care that much. In fact, I’m sure it’s less than 10% of your time when you think and judge others. What takes more of your time is thinking about what those people think about you and this probably messes up your schedule, your wishes and your actions regarding those wishes.
How fair it is that less than 10% of the thoughts decides 50% of people’s actions? How fair is that 10% of the time creates 80% of the fears in the world? We fear so much about the fact others will harshly judge us that we forget they have lives too. They are people too and maybe that judgement is all for making themselves feel better because in the end, it’s all about the feelings. And instead of judging you, people have more important things to do with their lives, things like being afraid of your judgement.
It’s not fair and we don’t live in a fair world, but just think about this for a second. How helpful it is for someone’s life to take into consideration and be afraid about what others think to make themselves better? It’s like being afraid your neighbours make sex and planning your life based on that. Judgement is just a way for others to feel better about themselves. That’s it. There is no other way to look at this because giving advices based on own opinion cannot count as judgement.
“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” – Wayne Dyler
If we go back thinking about the time spent with judgement, it’s so much less than the amount of time fearing about that judgement. And we know it, but we still cannot help ourselves. We create our own dragons and we act based on what they decide for us. Yeah, we are that powerful.
How much of your time do you spend judging others? What about the amount of time you spend about fearing other people’s judgement?
I have worked very hard to not care what others think of me. As an introvert, this is an ongoing concern. I do not think any reasonable person could have an issue with how I live my life and if they do, so be it. I think we need to realize that this openness we have in social and other media is leading us to let others have more influence than they deserve. Just be you.
Yes! We share so much and because of this, people think they have the right to form and transmit their opinion. And the problem is that most of the time it’s not a helpful opinion…
Mmmh, I think, people should be free to express their opinions. But of course, it can be annoying if it is an opinion about a person, or a recommendation nobody has asked for etc.
I used to differentiate between people of whom I appreciate advise/opinions and others who are simply irrelevant to me.
I like to keep in the forefront of my mind that everyone is struggling with issue(s) internally. As for worrying about what people think of me, I guess with age that I’ve come to realize that some may dislike me no matter what. I stay authentic and speak my mind, but always with respect.
That is right! There will always be people that dislike us no matter what. Because people are different and they have different sets of values. This makes them form different opinions and it would be impossible for us to match all of those opinions. It would assume we are many different people at the same time.
I agree with you too. We are not living our lifes on earth to please everybody and to be liked by everybody.
I feel like I spent way more time worrying others were judging me than I ever did judging them. Judgement is a necessary “evil” sometimes though. We make decisions based on our judgements.
Yes, we make decisions based on our judgments. But what if our judgments are based on other people’s judgments?
You are absolutely true. We spend a lot of time thinking what others would think of us. But everybody is busy with their own lives and nobody actually cares. If you are happy with yourself and family, then it is not our problem what others would say.
Although it is easy to say but very difficult to think like that because in every decision we think of ‘others’.
We do because we formed a habit out of that… It’s hard, but we can break that habit.
I wonder what are you afraid of? Maybe, it helps to break a habit by asking yourself: “What if…” (I do not consider others).
I don’t think the world really cares about people. People will care about people they know but I think that’s about it. I don’t judge people unless I’m engaging in a spot of people watching. I believe most people judge far more than I do. I don’t care much what other people think of me but as you get older you do start to care more for their opinions.
In your opinion, why do we start caring more about others’ opinions when we get older?
Because we get insecure as we know so much more about the world. When we are young we think we know everything when really we know nothing.
That`s interesting, Angela. In my case, I care less about the opinion of others the older I become…because I know more about the world, it becomes increasingly difficult to impress me – and of course, I know myself better now (which is not always flattering). In this context, I become more self-confident. On the other hand, I become more insecure same time. Life span is shortening, so that I am more anxious to make mistake / wrong decisions, I might not be able to compensate later on.
Yes that is also true sometimes.
I think we should care about people but not necessarily their opinions. That is a lot of power we are giving away without knowing if the opinions are coming from someone who is not worthy of that level of impact.
Ah, judgment. One of the hardest things to leave home when you leave the house. Or even when you’re still in the house. :0)
Reading your comment, I thought you`re absolutely right …because finally it is not the judgement of another person which is the challenge. It is the way, how we think about ourselves. An opinion that is not substantiated at all, cannot hurt / influence / annoy us. But if there should be a core of truth, it becomes uncomfortable because our so called “inner critic” is fed and will be difficult to silence if he is confirmed by an external person.
Thus, you cannot escape judgement… indoors/ outdoors…finally you are the one who carries this judgements with you all the time. It is a mere internal affair of yours.
And no matter where you go, there you are so you can never escape yourself!😂
Exactly. Damn!
😂🤣😂
Yeah… people judge us no matter what because that’s how they feel good about themselves.
😩
I definitely worry far more about others judging me than spend time judging others. I feel the most judgmental when I see people do cruel, idiotic, or needlessly dangerous things (like bullying or driving recklessly).
In general, it helps me to know that other people like worry about being judged like I do. And other people make mistakes too; I can’t judge someone’s entire life because I witness one mistake. Perspective is helpful for me.
That’s awesome! I also think perspective is the key here. People have their own lives just as we do so they probably have their own problems to deal with, not necessarily ours. Oh, and they are humans too, so nobody is perfect 🙂
I`ve got the suspicion that the world doesn`t care about anybody at all.
And I definetely know that nobody cares about me.
If people judge others it has got nothing to do with caring for somebody. I suppose, they are even not truely interested in the other person. Often, they possibly project own deficits on others in order to critisize the person. A much easier way of copying with own weaknesses than painful self-reflection.
Yes, that is very true! And with this in mind I hope we won’t let other people’s opinions affect the way we live our own life.
I don`t care if / how I am judged as a private person. In my professional life it is another story, of course.
Well, in professional life it’s helpful to keep our ears open so we can take in the constructive feedback and to act upon it.
..I agree with you. But many times it is not about constructive feedback at all. Often it is a matter of “games of thrones” only.
Judging is a lack of mentality as well as jealousy and other nasty stuff. When people judge the offer low vibration with their low energy to the world. They want to feel better about themselves but this is not true. When they judge they think they are better but this is a total lie. They lying to themselves and all this lie it is makes them feel better for some time but after then they are realising it they feel like shit. I used to be like that but I am so happy I am not anymore. Observation is high vibration and high energy but without judging. All people judge they have it themselves. Judging showing people’s insecurities. Sorry for a long comment.
You don’t have to apologize! I love long comments 😀 People often use lying to themselves as a way to hide the reality because they’re not ready to take full responsibility for the way their life is…
True. Responsibility is the rule number one to happy life. 😊
This definitely plays into the fear of failure we all have – we judge others so that when we inevitably “embarrass ourselves”, “fail” or feel inadequate, we have something to soften the blow – judgement of others, and bringing others down/amplifying their “faults” to make ourselves feel better. It’s weird that all this happens subconsciously.
Definitely agree with many other commenters here – judgement comes from jealousy and insecurity! Thanks for this post!
goldenchild31
https://theundergrowth.news.blog/
Yes, and so many people stop pursuing their goals just because others project their own jealousy and insecurities on them…
You’re magical ❤️
Thank you very much for reading and for your kind words <3
I concur. Yet, that doesn’t stop most people from seeking approval and justification because apparently we are social creatures and long to fit in
Yes, we are social creatures, but that doesn’t need to reflect and transform into seeking approval and justification…