Usually we tell ourselves whatever we want. The thing is that our repetitive conversations modify the way we think and behave. We are free to say whatever we want to ourselves, but that shouldn’t give us the permission to do it.
Our self-talk influences our current and future life on several areas:
- similar situations trigger similar conversations that fire up similar neurons, which will create continuously growing neural paths;
- once those neural are strong enough, they will be activated every time those situations are encountered and that will trigger automatic thoughts which will lead to… (yes, you guessed it) similar conversations;
- stronger neural paths are easier to activate and follow; because of this, it will be easier for those neural paths to activate in other situations as well;
- if we repeat something long enough, we’ll start believing it and once we believe it, we’ll act based on that belief;
- our behavior shapes the life we have and if our self-talk goes in a certain way, our life will be shaped accordingly.
I am aware, very aware about how negative self-talk works and about the importance of it. Strong paths are difficult to break, but not impossible. Your inner voice is what brings you up or down and it keeps you there. As Henry Ford says:
“Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right.”
How do your self-talks look like?
I really love your posts, they may be short but they’re poignant as well
Thank you very much for reading and for your kind words! 😀
Have you ever looked into Central Sensitivation Syndrome? It is a model for handling chronic pain that looks at the ways our nervous process operates. Specifically that when we get overwhelmed with some sense our somatosensory cortex gets deregulated. Our nerves also develop more receptors for this input creating a loop.
I have applied this to sensory issues and pain. But I can definitely see how what your talking about is a part of this. Instead of sensory, it’s just neural pathways and the connections we create in our brains and re establish.
Yes, actually, this is somehow related. On a high level it happens just as you said, but it starts from neural paths (most of the time). Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment!
Mine’s mostly ok. Lots more “you can do this” & “it’s ok. Just breathe” than there used to be. “It’s ok to be not ok”.
That’s awesome! It seems you’re are your own cheerleader 🙂
This is a really interesting post! When I was doing CBT for anxiety last year, the main thing I practised was breaking down a cycle of thoughts, emotions and actions, so that my self-talk would improve and I could overcome situations I found difficult.
How helpful was CBT for you?
It was really helpful – it didn’t necessarily stop my physical symptoms but it helped me think more positively and deal with those symptoms better
Mine is powerful enough to drive me crazy for the day lol.
Yeah… we have the power to drive ourselves crazy for the day…
Depends on the day, some I can be the most positive person and some I can crash a soul pretty easy 🙁
Which ones are more often?
Unfortunately the mean one wins more often, funny thing is I can cheer others continuously but when it comes to me the downer always comes out faster.
Yes, I know what you’re talking about. Have you tried seeing yourself as “others” so you can cheer yourself the same way you cheer others?
I’m trying to kill the negative self-talk.
How does that work so far?
Not too well sometimes but I keep trying 🙂