Did it ever happen to you to go peacefully through your day and them someone said some dumb sh*t that means something to you and that blew off your “peaceful day”? I’m sure it did, but how often does that happen? And why does it happen in the first place?
It’s mainly because of our core beliefs. When we’re convinced something is right or that it is important for us, then our senses get to be predisposed to pick up signals related to those beliefs. For example, if it’s important to you to be appreciated when you do something, then everything related to your appreciation (even the lack of it) can mess up your mood badly.
The core beliefs we have create expectations, but those expectations are only accurate for us, not for others because others have their own core beliefs that create their own expectations and they behave based on that. When we expect for someone to behave in a certain way based on our expectations and that won’t happen (because people are different), then our mood drops faster than Eminem’s words.
Our expectations won’t get limited to people. We create expectations related to some situations as well. Based on our core beliefs, we expect things to go in a certain way. If we expect to be promoted based on something we did or if we expect for traffic to be smooth or whatever else we expect, our mood goes to crap as soon as those expectations are not met.
But hold on, there is more of this. If we have a strong negative belief about ourselves, we’ll usually hope it’s not true. When someone or something proofs even slightly that it might be real, guess what happens with our mood? Yes, exactly! Basically, we’d like for the good things to be seen by others and the bad things to be noticed by no one. When the reality (or what we perceive as reality) doesn’t match that, we get grumpier than Grumpy Cat.
To summarize everything, our mood has the ability to change based on everything from our environment. Every person, cat, dog, situation, angry driver, cashier, butterfly, mosquito, noise and so on has the ability to change our mood based on what is important for us. The moment we change what’s important for us, we change who or what can influence our mood.
What is important for you?
You are so well at explaining. I keep on thinking and practising all this, but can’t articulate my thoughts to others so well like you do.👍
And yes whatever we feel is just our state of mind..We are not defeated, unless we accept our defeat.
Thank you very much for reading and for your kind words! I’m sure you’ll get better and better at it! The more you practice, the more skilled you’ll become!
I love this. So true.
Thank you very much!
You said realistic way. It happened many times with me at my job. Working all night helping others but suddenly some lunatic will come to ruin your good work. I used to get distracted but later I just start ignoring those type of people. I given them options : stay and get treated or find other emergency room. Well, this work better for me.
Thank you very much for your kind words! WE have the power to change the life we live.
“It’s mainly because of our core beliefs. When we’re convinced something is right or that it is important for us, then our senses get to be predisposed to pick up signals related to those beliefs.”
I wonder why core beliefs are so rigid and how can I change them?
They’re rigid because they’ve grown and developed in years, starting from our childhood. We can change them by questioning our own thoughts (which can bring some self-esteem and self-confidence problems). If we can become comfortable with that, we can become more aware of our surroundings and instead of assuming things because of those rigid core beliefs, we will become more open to pick up “field information”.
Instead of forming an absolute assumption, I usually create different hypothesis in my head and I try to be aware of what’s out there. Of course, those hypothesis are based on my core beliefs, but what I experience now is far less rigid than what I was experiencing two years ago when I wasn’t questioning my thoughts.
Right, everything around us could affect our mood at any given time that is why I always make it a point to have a proper mindset because it what I can control.
Nice read!
Thank you for reading! Yes, that’s exactly right! We cannot control other people or the situations we encounter, but we can learn to control our mind so we can deal with those.
I really enjoy your articles, and a reference to Eminem, perfection!
Thank you very much for reading and for your kind words! So you’re an Eminem fan? 🙂
My whole family is a fan. We are from Michigan, and we have a slight personal connection. 🙂
Niiice! 😀 I basically grew up with his music 🙂
I get triggered at work…all. the. time. Triggered to the point I can’t concentrate. And that’s not easy for a someone who’s a teacher, my focus should be on the student’s learning.
It does sound tough. What can help you with that?
I think learning to recognize that someone else’s core belief doesn’t have to be mine has been the best thing to happen to me. I used to carry a lot of anger at myself and bitterness, that was really other people’s core beliefs of what was “owed” to them, from me. When I started looking at what really works for ME (love, compassion, being a homebody) I lost a lot of that instant triggering effect. I still have issues with loud noises – which is why I always heave earplugs with me. it may look goofy to pop in earplugs at the movies, but it makes them tolerable.
That’s awesome! How did that happen? Was it a process or an instant decision?
Oh, tremendously long process that involved epic amounts of 20/20 hindsight and accepting that maybe other people were wrong about me. Didn’t I know my feelings? I also attended an amazing seminar that helped a ton.
So simple and true!…Now, I wonder what are my issues? The amount of triggers, my mood / emotion regulation, the lack of knowledge what is important to me, my values & prios, core beliefs or my self-image to be corrected?
Is it possible to change core beliefs and expectations ( I am guilty as hell) and therefore, rule making?
I am confused …. better I go to bed now.
For me, the issues are usually that the actual situation doesn’t match my expectations of it. I try to lower my expectations as much as possible as often as possible, but sometimes I catch myself off-guard.
Maybe, you should simply accept it to be disappointed from time to time. There is nothing dramatic/special about. It is just one of many human emotions. It can become a problem if you cannot let your disappointment and expectation go.
And of course, it is literally ego-centric to measure other people and their behavior using your expectations and standards. Do you consider the expectations of others equally (like your own)?
I consider that my own expectations shouldn’t be there in the first place because it’s not fair. Others have different ways of thinking so they have the right to do what they want with their lives.
Reblogged this on Physically Present Spiritually Vacant.
Thank you very much for your reblog! <3