I’ve felt that, too.
Then I think, love is to be unconditional so that includes expectations.
And yet, love is respect for the expectations and boundaries others’ have of us.
I think it’s a different formula for every relationship.
Yeah, I expected them to stay off my lane but now I got no brakes..
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I think “well I would have done that differently”, but then I realise that we’re different people and we couldn’t possibly act in the same way (and I wouldn’t want everyone in the world too either)
True! I think it would be better to have no expectations at all in the first place due to the fact that we all are different people and we can’t possibly act in the same way. Of course, it’s harder to do it…
No big deal if it occurs once in awhile because things happen. However, if it is an on-going occurrence then that is a judgment call you will have to make.
I love this perspective! It’s interesting to see people doing this every single day and they get angry daily because of this. I wonder if the situation is someday going to change…
This is a great question, for reason being it made me think. I actually haven’t had expectations for anyone other than myself in quite a while, so I guess to answer your question I feel nothing because I expect nothing
I guess after so many let-downs from the ones I thought were close, I just gave up on expecting,
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At first, I get to feel disappointed.
But, when I get to understand the circumstances leading up to the event, I ask myself if I would have done different?
In the end, I realise no one is perfect.
Thank you for your nomination! <3 It's an honor for me!
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I met a narcissist. Of course, I didn’t know it for a long time.
Since meeting such a person, I’ve set my expectations so low that it shouldn’t be hard for normal people not to disappoint me.
The discovery is fairly recent and I haven’t let anyone new near yet.
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Reading the comments, I actually questioned myself if I know the meaning of the word.
ex·pec·ta·tion: noun
1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future
expect: transitive verb
1a: to consider probable or certain
1b: to consider reasonable, due, or necessary
2: to anticipate or look forward to the coming or occurrence of
I think it is good and necessary to have expectations towards others. On the other hand, my expectations have to be in the realm of reasonable. If someone fails my expectations, the situation has to be checked to a reference point for the disappointment to be justifiable.
If I am jaywalking with my face buried into my phone and expect people not to hit me with their car, well, then I am in the wrong to have such expectation as I am failing to fulfil my responsibilities.
If my friend keeps being late in every occasion, then we are both wrong, as he cannot keep his word, and I am calling someone like him a friend when he is clearly lacking any respect towards me and my time.
It is nothing wrong with feeling disappointed as long as it makes me go back to my reference point and reflect on myself and adjust my life.
Thank you for this insightful comment! So expectations are either wrongly set, or they are set accordingly to our standards which others might not have. Either way, we might suffer…
This is interesting… but what if those expectations have nothing to do with you as a person but more with the one setting those expectations? For example, someone might expect for you to call him/her everyday, but that won’t happen because you’re not even friends.
Like I should know better than to expect things.
I’ve felt that, too.
Then I think, love is to be unconditional so that includes expectations.
And yet, love is respect for the expectations and boundaries others’ have of us.
I think it’s a different formula for every relationship.
Would it be better to have no expectations?
It is one of the Four Agreements. And not a bad one, just hard to practice.
What expectations?
I think it’s awesome if you have none! Was it always this way?
Yeah, I expected them to stay off my lane but now I got no brakes..
I think “well I would have done that differently”, but then I realise that we’re different people and we couldn’t possibly act in the same way (and I wouldn’t want everyone in the world too either)
Yes. And I think it shouldn`t ber ones target to please others all the time.
That’s true, I agree!
True! I think it would be better to have no expectations at all in the first place due to the fact that we all are different people and we can’t possibly act in the same way. Of course, it’s harder to do it…
No big deal if it occurs once in awhile because things happen. However, if it is an on-going occurrence then that is a judgment call you will have to make.
I love this perspective! It’s interesting to see people doing this every single day and they get angry daily because of this. I wonder if the situation is someday going to change…
That I shouldn’t expect so much of people because My expectations are too high.
And maybe those people don’t even care to do the things the way we do… they do it their way.
Of course.
I don’t have expectations of others… 🙂
That’s the best!
This is a great question, for reason being it made me think. I actually haven’t had expectations for anyone other than myself in quite a while, so I guess to answer your question I feel nothing because I expect nothing
Awesome! How did you get to this point? What determined you to remove your expectations?
I guess after so many let-downs from the ones I thought were close, I just gave up on expecting,
At first, I get to feel disappointed.
But, when I get to understand the circumstances leading up to the event, I ask myself if I would have done different?
In the end, I realise no one is perfect.
Would it be possible to have this thought process before the feeling of being disappointed?
Absolutely; it would be possible.
I just tell myself no one is perfect.
Don’t care. I don’t want anything more than people want for themselves. Do not expect and you will feel better about yourself. 😊😊😊
Yes! Awesome approach! 😀
Depends on how much it impacts me.
So you’re more affected when it’s more personal, right?
Yes.
worried a little
How come?
I always remember this quote :
“I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine” – Bruce Lee
Awesome quote! Do you manage to remember that before getting upset or angry or disappointed?
Not always. But I try to
Hey! I have nominated you for an award: Check this out.
https://mindoriginals.wordpress.com/2019/05/05/versatile-blogger-award-nomination/
Thank you for your nomination! <3 It's an honor for me!
I met a narcissist. Of course, I didn’t know it for a long time.
Since meeting such a person, I’ve set my expectations so low that it shouldn’t be hard for normal people not to disappoint me.
Have you ever been disappointed since then?
The discovery is fairly recent and I haven’t let anyone new near yet.
Reading the comments, I actually questioned myself if I know the meaning of the word.
ex·pec·ta·tion: noun
1. a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future
expect: transitive verb
1a: to consider probable or certain
1b: to consider reasonable, due, or necessary
2: to anticipate or look forward to the coming or occurrence of
I think it is good and necessary to have expectations towards others. On the other hand, my expectations have to be in the realm of reasonable. If someone fails my expectations, the situation has to be checked to a reference point for the disappointment to be justifiable.
If I am jaywalking with my face buried into my phone and expect people not to hit me with their car, well, then I am in the wrong to have such expectation as I am failing to fulfil my responsibilities.
If my friend keeps being late in every occasion, then we are both wrong, as he cannot keep his word, and I am calling someone like him a friend when he is clearly lacking any respect towards me and my time.
It is nothing wrong with feeling disappointed as long as it makes me go back to my reference point and reflect on myself and adjust my life.
Thank you for this insightful comment! So expectations are either wrongly set, or they are set accordingly to our standards which others might not have. Either way, we might suffer…
To be honest it doesn’t bother me as much as it would bother me if I was the one to fail the expectations.
This is interesting… but what if those expectations have nothing to do with you as a person but more with the one setting those expectations? For example, someone might expect for you to call him/her everyday, but that won’t happen because you’re not even friends.
That’s a good point and I’ll have to think about that.
Disappointed
How often does it happen for others to fail your expectations?
I feel like I should have known better than to have expectations
Yes. If we think about it, most of our negative feelings come from reality not matching our expectations.