Question of the Day – No. 392 What is the biggest difficulty you face when communicating with other people? Share this:TwitterFacebookTumblrMoreLinkedInRedditPinterestPocketTelegramWhatsAppSkypeEmailLike this:Like Loading... 91 thoughts on “Question of the Day – No. 392” Add yours Framing the Right Word at the Right Moment LikeLiked by 4 people Reply That is tough indeed… and the right words usually appear after the conversation is over. LikeLike Reply Getting people to use adjustable language verses absolute language LikeLiked by 3 people Reply This is very interesting! How helpful would that be for you? LikeLike Reply I would then have found a kindred spirit as it would allow us to talk on equal terms. If we disagreed on something instead of someone say “you always do that”, we would have agreed to only use adjustable language and so the other could object and let them know that “always” is an absolute term. This would be the beginning of a way of seeing and interacting with the world in a whole new light and allow each of us to object rather than get angry. Because of this new fairness we could discuss any subject and no one could try bully the other into submission using absolute and false facts. Well that is what my brother and I have been doing for the last 15 years. LikeLiked by 1 person I tend to be very forward, which can be off-putting for a lot of people. LikeLiked by 4 people Reply How come you’re so “very forward”? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I tend to be latter of fact. I’m getting better about considering how my words might appear to others. LikeLiked by 1 person Not communicating at all from lack of confidence in what to say. LikeLiked by 2 people Reply What if instead of thinking about what to say you’d think about how you can get to know that other person better? LikeLike Reply I have a speech impairment, so people have trouble understanding me. And apparently, my writing needs work, cause people have trouble understanding it. It makes sense to me, but some reason not to them, unless they’ve known me for a long time. My grammar is a bit rusty.. LikeLiked by 2 people Reply Looks ok to me 🙂 LikeLiked by 2 people Reply Thank you, that means a lot to me, I think most of my issues are on facebook. Maybe I should just stick to blogging. lol LikeLiked by 2 people Or maybe their grammar is a bit rusty? LikeLike Reply Thinking on my feet…After few minutes of responding, I am like some other response would have been abetter …😅 LikeLiked by 3 people Reply Maybe you concentrate too much on “the best response”? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply This is a new perspective for me…Thanks for sharing…And yeah this could be the reason… LikeLiked by 1 person Hoping my resting bitch face does not take away from my sincerity and/or make me appear to be aloof or worse, pissed off all of the time. LikeLiked by 2 people Reply What makes you say that? LikeLike Reply Not to be too straightforward …and in the event that I am very enthusiastic , it is hard to discipline myself, be patient ( I am a very quick thinker) and listen to the other person. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I think this probably comes from having intense emotions in the middle of the conversation. LikeLike Reply You might be right. I am very passionate in discussions / debates. But on the other hand people used to think that I am very much in self-control and never lose my “contenance” in critical situations. The truth is that I am very emotional and tend to be impulsive that is the reason why I avoid to be spontaneous. In the relevant situation, I am very head-strong and cool. Later on, as soon as I am alone the emotions belonging to the incident pop up. I figured out that I feel misunderstood sometimes because I don’t give others the chance to get a direct, immediate emotional feedback from me. The tougher the situation, the cooler I am. Strange. LikeLiked by 1 person To explain my views exactly as they are framed in my mind. LikeLiked by 2 people Reply That is a struggle I often face. I hear that reading and writing helps with that. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Thanks for your advice. I will try this one surely LikeLiked by 1 person The biggest challenge for me when communicating with others is keeping my ego out of it, and learning to always speak from my heart with honesty, integrity, and authenticity. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply That’s a very high standard Jen that you have set for yourself, to “…. always speak from my heart with honesty, integrity, and authenticity”. I come from the opposite end of the spectrum & aim to be less dishonest, less inconsistent & less inaccurate, and generally less insincere. You might say that it is just semantics but I would say semantics is a very important part of communication especially with oneself. LikeLiked by 2 people Reply Well Desmond, that ‘standard’ I have is something that I aim for I guess you would say? It’s hard to put being ‘honest and acting in integrity’ at all times into actual practice. But I’ve noticed in life that if I allow my ‘ego’ to get involved in situations when dealing with people that I don’t stay true to myself and I make dumb decisions. I don’t know if that makes sense lol. And yes, semantics is important. 🙂 LikeLiked by 1 person I guess the point I was trying to make Jen, is that personally, I think it is easier to push away from a negative value attribute than to try attain an absolute positive one. Such as insincerity rather than sincerity for example. LikeLiked by 2 people Yes! Handling our own ego is a big challenge… LikeLike Reply Not to talk too fast! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply How often is that an issue? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply All the time, but it gets worse when I’m uncomfortable or extremely exited. I just make sure to be aware of how fast I’m talking and slow it down. LikeLiked by 1 person I think for me it’s understanding what people want from a conversation – I might just want to say something and be done, but others want to chat. Small talk doesn’t come as naturally to me as it seems to do for others. LikeLiked by 2 people Reply I get that feeling often. I’m not a big fan of small talks either so when I “have to” have one, I ask questions and I’ll let that other person do the talking. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Getting them to understand what I mean. I trip over my words often lol LikeLiked by 2 people Reply Well, practicing makes it better. Would you say that there are some sort of emotions or anxiety involved and that makes you trip over your words? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply This is going to sound ridiculous, but I’m gay, and whenever I’m either talking to customers at work, or people outside of work, I always have this creeping thought about whether they would accept me if I knew. I usually have a pretty decent read on people, and it shouldn’t matter in accordance with the conversation or the circumstance, as it’s usually a fleeting moment, but it bothers me. And this affects my communication with them, especially with (presumably) straight men that I find attractive. I feel I should be more “masculine” and sometimes adjust my speech to be more “on their level.” This isn’t always the case, but it happens regularly. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply How important it is for you their opinion and why is so? How regular are your interactions with the same people? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply That’s the thing; I don’t usually care what other people think of me, especially tertiary people I may not see again. It’s just this weird “instinct” I guess you could say, to blend in. I’m not exactly sure where it came from or if there was a catalyst. On any given day I see several of the same people. And again, I don’t always feel this way and I’m trying to break myself of the habit. LikeLiked by 1 person To be a better listener, especially when talking to those wiser than me. Also by listening you will also learn who isn’t wiser and then take what is said with the right weight. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply In my opinion, listening and paying attention to non-verbal languages bring much more benefits than talking does… I guess that’s why it’s harder. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Listening, rather than thinking about how I am going to respond. Being open rather than immediately defensive. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply What can help you with this? LikeLike Reply I think quieting my brain and slowing down and being open, trying to put myself in the other person’s shoes. I try these things now but sometimes my emotions get the best of me. LikeLiked by 1 person Sometimes I never know when my social anxiety is going to take a hold of me and make me act in ways I have no control over when I’m typically a very outgoing open person. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Do you think about this possibility within conversations as well? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply More so in person then I do say on the phone or in various forms of text. LikeLiked by 1 person People LikeLiked by 1 person Reply How come? LikeLike Reply Just listening. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Yes… keeping our mouth shut and our ears open is tougher than it should… LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I tend to get easily frustrated if I’m unable to articulate the way I want LikeLiked by 1 person Reply And the more frustrated you get, the harder it becomes to articulate… LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Exactly! LikeLike This question has to be up there with the other ultimate life questions such as our origin, meaning of life and so fourth. The biggest issue isn’t with the audience, its the speaker who often fails to align thoughts with verbal language LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I think it depends of the audience too, but it’s probably the speaker’s responsibility to choose his/her words wisely. But most of the time is not about the talking, but about the listening. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply My English. This is my biggest challenge and this is also my biggest win. Never stop trying and improving. 😊 LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Awesome! Never stop trying and improving! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Thank you 😊 LikeLiked by 1 person Find it difficult to engage because before I have even finished talking I can see the other person has already formed their reply regardless of what else I have to say. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Maybe it would be better to focus the conversation towards that person? LikeLike Reply Communication is very difficult for me as I have hearing difficulties and central vision loss so struggle to lip-read. 95% of people refuse to adapt to my communication needs which is incredibly frustrating! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply That’s tough… you are born with this or you suffered some sort of accident or illness? LikeLike Reply I lost my hearing at the end of 2016 after a cold. Lost my central vision 3 months later prior to a suspected TIA LikeLiked by 1 person I’m very sorry to hear that… LikeLike Its OK, it has been a long journey learning to adapt but I’m getting there 🙂 LikeLiked by 1 person Being an engaged listener. I talk to people for a living and sometimes it’s so hard to give a person my undivided attention. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Interesting! What do you do for a living? LikeLike Reply I do glorified tech support, but really it’s just customer service. LikeLiked by 1 person Fear of not being listened to. I feel, so often, that I’m ignored, so I lose confidence in delivering my thoughts and become quiet due to the nagging feeling of being unheard. I shut down. I then feel like I have nothing useful to say in the process and it becomes a perpetual cycle of negativity inside my head. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Have you ever tried to make that other person feel good instead of thinking about what to say? LikeLike Reply Common interests..we hardly have LikeLiked by 1 person Reply So it’s not a matter of skill, but rather a matter of subject. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply My verbal communication is rather flat, I say what I mean without much emotion. I remain calm and level, but it is not always well received. My words may be strong and precise, but the emotional animation is not there to drive them home. It upsets some people. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply So people get upset because they cannot see emotion in your communication? LikeLike Reply Yea, I guess so when they are expecting an emotional response. It also confuses people too. LikeLiked by 1 person I have to talk with people when I am not in mood to say a single word. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply How often does it happen to be in such a mood? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Recently very often LikeLiked by 1 person Not being too blunt sometimes… LikeLiked by 1 person Reply How do people react to that? LikeLike Reply Well lately, people I interact with do not listen or interrupt or talk over me, so clearly I cannot communicate. However, I started ignoring them altogether, or just not engage in conversation, let them talk and hear nothing. And when they ask I say I heard nothing, and they get frustrated but still seek my company. Go figure! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Makes sense… maybe they’re not the proper people you need to interact with… LikeLike Reply Tell me about it, can’t be avoided though for the time being LikeLiked by 1 person I’m a bit too blunt and honest and it can be intimidating. LikeLiked by 1 person Reply How come you are so blunt and honest? LikeLike Reply It’s the only way I know how to be. If someone asks me something I assume they want to know the answer so I give them the absolute truth and I don’t sugar coat. I don’t like liars so I guess I’m the other extreme. LikeLiked by 1 person Compensating for their likes and dislikes:( Fun though! LikeLiked by 1 person Reply Could we ever compensate for that? LikeLiked by 1 person Reply I tend to write how I talk and apparently that confuses people. I don’t know why, they talk to me on a daily basis. LikeLike Reply Leave a Reply Cancel reply Enter your comment here... Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Email (required) (Address never made public) Name (required) Website You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change ) You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change ) Cancel Connecting to %s Notify me of new comments via email. Notify me of new posts via email.