I usually make an agreement first that when we fail in our behavior we give an acceptable apology. That way when I give my apology it will have a duel purpose, to teach me a lesson, literally (as it can be quite humbling) and to ensure the receiver is also satisfied and gained some confidence that I am less likely to repeat the error, at least not to the same degree.
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By Eating and Drinking more than What I Usually Does
Anger is my go-to emotion, though I control it fairly well. I like to use it as inspiration for my writing. Actually, anytime I feel a little emotional I use that to write.
I try not to unless something needs to be destroyed. Rarely does rational thought come from a place of anger. We are far better suited to make clear decisions when we find ourselves on a path of peace and happiness. It is that path that I strive for when I find myself in a state of anger.
Great question. I am not a psychologist so I can only speak for myself. Sometimes, walking away from what makes me angry, even for a few minutes, will do the trick. Other times I will just distract myself with a task or if I’m really frustrated I’ll smoke a little cannabis. It always helps to calm me down.
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I really try not to get angry anymore. If I do it’s not really anger that I feel. Normally is frustration for not communicating how I’m actually feeling. If I do let myself get to the point of seeing red, I’ll see if I can get in to see my therapist or call my parents or sister. They let me vent then we all logically look at the situation together. It helps me to have an outside opinion.
Honestly, venting. Most of the time when I get to that point, I just need to verbalize my feelings. It usually comes out as a rush of words. By the time I take a deep breath, I realize how illogical it all seems and laugh.
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I rehash memories that made me angry when I go jogging, especially if there is a hill ahead. Eventually they wear out. Cheers!
Some never do and they’ve become legendary in my mind. But ordinarily they flow, and I stay up to date. So, on the average about a day. Maybe two jogs. Cheers!
I need energy to keep up with the flow of emergency room. 🙂
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I swear, vent it out and then let it pass. But I’m learning anger is a fleeting emotion, it’s a reaction and I don’t have to bite every time someone pushes that button because it doesn’t give me any benefit.
I don’t think we should be using anger, as anger clouds the mind and often leads to unwanted consequences. I think we should work on handling/responding to situation and encounters that make us angry.
I do something about it – even if I would rather wallow in self pity about being angry. You’d be surprised at just how clean a kitchen can get when I’m well and truly ticked off! I often have to spend some time in a quiet place to figure out the source of my anger. Is it reasonable? Is it just? Is it something that’s actually linked to another issue?
Then comes the challenging part, because most of the anger I’ve been feeling right now comes from feeling helpless. I can’t change how some things are now, but you can bet I’ll be voting! I can make decisions about how to spend my energy – like cleaning, or organizing. I can talk things through, and try to find out where I’m getting signals from. Anger takes a lot of work, and I’m really trying not to invest there.
No, it doesn’t always work, but it’s gotten me further towards being peaceful than stewing in ugliness. The latter tends to lead to headaches, depression and being a real pain in the ass to be around. I don’t like that in myself.
unfortunately I get violent. I get rage. I had my genome tested in the Netherlands and found out that I have a MAOA ‘warrior gene’ which could have something to do with it. And I was once diagnosed with disocial/antisocial PD. But now I’ve got a brand new psychiatrist and a good soliciter, I don’t have that so I’m pleased that’s gone.
Thick people that have a position of authority over me. Rules, social norms, being criticised, people that owe me money and go all quite on me. Conversations about the weather.
Apologize for it by identifying the cause and try next time to object to the behavior rather than get angry.
Do you apologize to that person or to yourself? Or both?
I usually make an agreement first that when we fail in our behavior we give an acceptable apology. That way when I give my apology it will have a duel purpose, to teach me a lesson, literally (as it can be quite humbling) and to ensure the receiver is also satisfied and gained some confidence that I am less likely to repeat the error, at least not to the same degree.
By Eating and Drinking more than What I Usually Does
I don’t get angry generally. It’s very very rare. Iam happy going … Take it easy kind
I’m glad you rarely do it. Otherwise it would be tough to handle all that eating and drinking.
I go off unless I go to God right away.
I hope you go to God more often than you go off.
I seem to write my best scenes when I’m mad! Go figure!
Nice! You found a great way to handle that energy,
Anger is my go-to emotion, though I control it fairly well. I like to use it as inspiration for my writing. Actually, anytime I feel a little emotional I use that to write.
That’s great! And I’m sure your best pieces come from when you use emotions to write.
Definitely! Some of the best segments of my writing have come when I was feeling stressed, sad, or upset.
Swearing helps!
Interestingly, it does!
Let it go, only provides frustration – understand why and move on
What would you recommend to someone who claims he/she cannot let it go?
Embrace it and see it through so you can release it.
Breathe!! Take a moment to process. And find some calm.
True! And not act upon it!
I try not to unless something needs to be destroyed. Rarely does rational thought come from a place of anger. We are far better suited to make clear decisions when we find ourselves on a path of peace and happiness. It is that path that I strive for when I find myself in a state of anger.
How can we pull ourselves out of that angry place?
Great question. I am not a psychologist so I can only speak for myself. Sometimes, walking away from what makes me angry, even for a few minutes, will do the trick. Other times I will just distract myself with a task or if I’m really frustrated I’ll smoke a little cannabis. It always helps to calm me down.
I really try not to get angry anymore. If I do it’s not really anger that I feel. Normally is frustration for not communicating how I’m actually feeling. If I do let myself get to the point of seeing red, I’ll see if I can get in to see my therapist or call my parents or sister. They let me vent then we all logically look at the situation together. It helps me to have an outside opinion.
What helps you the most? The part when they let you vent or the part when they give you opinions?
Honestly, venting. Most of the time when I get to that point, I just need to verbalize my feelings. It usually comes out as a rush of words. By the time I take a deep breath, I realize how illogical it all seems and laugh.
I rehash memories that made me angry when I go jogging, especially if there is a hill ahead. Eventually they wear out. Cheers!
How long does it take for them to wear out?
Some never do and they’ve become legendary in my mind. But ordinarily they flow, and I stay up to date. So, on the average about a day. Maybe two jogs. Cheers!
Turn into a energy
What do you use that energy for?
I need energy to keep up with the flow of emergency room. 🙂
I swear, vent it out and then let it pass. But I’m learning anger is a fleeting emotion, it’s a reaction and I don’t have to bite every time someone pushes that button because it doesn’t give me any benefit.
How come you started to learn it’s a fleeting emotion?
I don’t think we should be using anger, as anger clouds the mind and often leads to unwanted consequences. I think we should work on handling/responding to situation and encounters that make us angry.
What helped you handle your anger?
I do something about it – even if I would rather wallow in self pity about being angry. You’d be surprised at just how clean a kitchen can get when I’m well and truly ticked off! I often have to spend some time in a quiet place to figure out the source of my anger. Is it reasonable? Is it just? Is it something that’s actually linked to another issue?
Then comes the challenging part, because most of the anger I’ve been feeling right now comes from feeling helpless. I can’t change how some things are now, but you can bet I’ll be voting! I can make decisions about how to spend my energy – like cleaning, or organizing. I can talk things through, and try to find out where I’m getting signals from. Anger takes a lot of work, and I’m really trying not to invest there.
Do you always succeed in managing it this way? If not, how does it manifest?
No, it doesn’t always work, but it’s gotten me further towards being peaceful than stewing in ugliness. The latter tends to lead to headaches, depression and being a real pain in the ass to be around. I don’t like that in myself.
𝙶𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚘𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚛𝚢 𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍/𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚐𝚗𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝙸 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚛𝚐𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚐𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚖𝚙 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚛, 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚘, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚍𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚢𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚝𝚘 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚎. 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝚊𝚕𝚠𝚊𝚢𝚜 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚏𝚎𝚎𝚕 𝚋𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚎𝚛.
🕊
𝙿𝚂: 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜! 💕
Thank you very much for answering to them! I love that you love them! So anger drives you to get better and evolve! That’s awesome!
unfortunately I get violent. I get rage. I had my genome tested in the Netherlands and found out that I have a MAOA ‘warrior gene’ which could have something to do with it. And I was once diagnosed with disocial/antisocial PD. But now I’ve got a brand new psychiatrist and a good soliciter, I don’t have that so I’m pleased that’s gone.
What usually makes you angry?
Thick people that have a position of authority over me. Rules, social norms, being criticised, people that owe me money and go all quite on me. Conversations about the weather.