When I feel it’s in the best interests of someone else. But it depends what it is . Have you ever seen the photo of the one man not raising his right hand at a Hitler rally? That man is me.
Realizing that I *could* do it. I have to live with myself 24/7 – and that connection to saying “no” to things that dragged mw down shifted a lot of my outlook.
More than what I would like to. I just took a stress test (online) as part of a mindfulness course and found my stress score higher than others (This will entail a whole new blog). 😣
Yes! I try to respond and not react and ask God for His guidance in treating others with integrity and respect. 🙂
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Everyday.
And as soon as I “act out of sorts”, it’s such a problem for everyone else .yet those same people can say and do what They feel without a thought of my feelings.
How I’ve learned to combat this? I do me anyway. They’ll be “offended” or “shocked”, but they’ll also get over it.
I try to avoid this at all costs. Nevertheless, my job sometimes requires me to mediate situations, which in turn requires me to act in such a way so as to not upset others, even though it’s most definitely not the best for me.
Unfortunately, it cannot. The work I do is rather complicated and involves legal intricacies that, unless you’ve been exposed to for a while, can be confusing and intimidating. As such, I must explain specific situations to employees to help them understand some of these intricacies and reassure them along the process. I could solve it by saying something along the lines of “calm down, your case is being handled,” but that would be poor customer service and may even make them more aggravated.
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Never. I dance to my own tune (to the song I wrote 🙂
Almost exclusively with my mother-in-law, but not all the time. She’s one of those hyper-sensitive people that are appalled by nearly everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and respect who she is and what she does, especially for her family, but I have to censor myself quite often. When I eventually get frustrated with her hyper-sensitivity or lack of decisiveness (only because she doesn’t want to offend anyone) I slip into a version of myself that more closely resembles who I am. But I am still not 100% me around her.
Everyone else gets the full force of my humour, wit, and depending on how they view it, my abrasiveness or forwardness.
Since one usually does not do them consciously, my effort is to observe my actions on a subtle level. So I know where is it coming from. I think change will happen if it is needed.
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Interesting Question
It depends on who the “person” is
And what exactly I am trying to accomplish in the moment
Ex: If I disagree with my mother, I am carful in how I respond and get my point across
Whereas, if am trying to prevent her from eating sugar cookies for breakfast (against her diet, due to diabetes) I am less careful about her feelings being hurt
Everyday
How does that make you feel?
Drained.sovial media is my escape as I can truly be myself.
Not very often.It depends what the situation is
In which situations you do it?
When I feel it’s in the best interests of someone else. But it depends what it is . Have you ever seen the photo of the one man not raising his right hand at a Hitler rally? That man is me.
Not very often… Only if situation demands.
When was the last time a situation demanded that?
Less often that I used to. Giving myself permission to say “No” has been a loving gift.
That’s great! What brought you to the point to give yourself permission to say “No”?
Realizing that I *could* do it. I have to live with myself 24/7 – and that connection to saying “no” to things that dragged mw down shifted a lot of my outlook.
Too many times, but not as many as I did before.
How come you’re not doing it as many times as you did before?
All the time.
How does that make you feel?
Terrible as I’m trying not to offend.
Very often.
And how does that make you feel?
numb.
Hardly ever these days. Too old in the tooth!
I’m happy if you concentrate more on yourself 🙂
Every day…shamefully
Shamefully? Is it that bad? :-s
More than what I would like to. I just took a stress test (online) as part of a mindfulness course and found my stress score higher than others (This will entail a whole new blog). 😣
That’s tough! How come is your stress level so high?
I was surprised myself! It was an eye opener for me
I try to practice this daily.
So you try to act in such a way not to upset others?
Yes! I try to respond and not react and ask God for His guidance in treating others with integrity and respect. 🙂
Everyday.
And as soon as I “act out of sorts”, it’s such a problem for everyone else .yet those same people can say and do what They feel without a thought of my feelings.
How I’ve learned to combat this? I do me anyway. They’ll be “offended” or “shocked”, but they’ll also get over it.
Yeah… and they probably don’t really care about you… they care about how they are perceived.
Before, very often.
But recently, I’m learning to be me anyway, even when others disapprove.
I’m very glad you’re learning to be you! Keep going, Samuel!
Though I cannot help but note – do you know what 419 means in Nigeria? It’s used for fraudsters.
Just looks funny to me 😀😀😉
I had no idea! Thank you for sharing! 😀
At the moment quite a lot.
Was it always like this?
No not really, it just seems to feel like it at the moment.
Very often. But I don’t avoid telling the truth because someone will get offended.
Did you ever regretted telling the truth when someone got offended?
I try to avoid this at all costs. Nevertheless, my job sometimes requires me to mediate situations, which in turn requires me to act in such a way so as to not upset others, even though it’s most definitely not the best for me.
Could that be solved in any other way or you must do it? Are you in a leading position? Leaders have to do this all the time…
Unfortunately, it cannot. The work I do is rather complicated and involves legal intricacies that, unless you’ve been exposed to for a while, can be confusing and intimidating. As such, I must explain specific situations to employees to help them understand some of these intricacies and reassure them along the process. I could solve it by saying something along the lines of “calm down, your case is being handled,” but that would be poor customer service and may even make them more aggravated.
Never. I dance to my own tune (to the song I wrote 🙂
Awesome! Keep it up! 😀
Thanks for sharing!… it is my life, I am the only one that can live it, I will get only one try at it so living my life my way… 🙂
“You wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realize how seldom they do”.. Eleanor Roosevelt
Very true! I love the quote <3
Almost exclusively with my mother-in-law, but not all the time. She’s one of those hyper-sensitive people that are appalled by nearly everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love her and respect who she is and what she does, especially for her family, but I have to censor myself quite often. When I eventually get frustrated with her hyper-sensitivity or lack of decisiveness (only because she doesn’t want to offend anyone) I slip into a version of myself that more closely resembles who I am. But I am still not 100% me around her.
Everyone else gets the full force of my humour, wit, and depending on how they view it, my abrasiveness or forwardness.
That’s very noble of you! Do other people threat her with the same care?
Quite often.
Have you ever thought about changing that?
Since one usually does not do them consciously, my effort is to observe my actions on a subtle level. So I know where is it coming from. I think change will happen if it is needed.
Interesting Question
It depends on who the “person” is
And what exactly I am trying to accomplish in the moment
Ex: If I disagree with my mother, I am carful in how I respond and get my point across
Whereas, if am trying to prevent her from eating sugar cookies for breakfast (against her diet, due to diabetes) I am less careful about her feelings being hurt
So it’s a matter of importance. If your message is vital, feelings come second.
They’re both important
But at times, yes, the value of the message comes first.
These questions you ask are awesome. Thank you. My first knee-jerk response was, “#SOML” but really, that’s changing. Grateful! ♥.