“What if I feel no emotion when I think about my goals? Does that mean I have bad goals?”
The answer to this question depends on how you are from an emotional point of view in other circumstances. This question might help:
On a scale from zero (rocks don’t feel anything) to 10 (I have liquid emotions instead of blood), how intense do you live your normal days?
If you usually go above 6 on a daily basis and you get excited when you think about drinking water, then the answer to your question is yes. You need better goals. If your answer is 4 or below, think about what got you excited the last time and how important was that for you, then compare it with your goals. The labeling itself might be a problem here. Replace goals with dreams and see if you can notice any difference (referring to dreams as something from our mind that we would fight for to make it real). The dreams are usually the ones that can create emotion and since a dream is something we need to work on a very long time, I believe some emotion needs to be involved. Then again, it relies to how important that goal/dream is compared to the last thing that got you excited. For example, if the last time you got excited was when you got married or you had a child or things like that, feeling nothing or almost nothing when you think about your dreams doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad dreams.
It is ok not to be excited every time when thinking about these goals or dreams because there are always other things that can influence us in those very moments. We maybe can’t even focus properly in those moments and because of it, we cannot experience the full potential of those dreams coming true. It’s important how we feel most of the time when we think about these dreams. Emotion is indeed a great indicator and a great facilitator for us to realize what’s impactful for us and we also realize what we need to focus on. We are capable of amazing things, but we cannot enjoy them without joy, can we? In the end, everything we do gets to this: do we feel good about what we did or about what we are going to do?
The interesting thing is that we can get motivated to do things we don’t want to do because, as I mentioned before, passion and motivation are not the same thing. We sometimes get motivated to do crap we don’t want to do because the end goal is bigger than the immediate comfort. Sometimes it’s not even motivation. It’s just pure peer pressure. The difference between motivation and peer pressure is that the last one has as a main goal to get rid of the pressure. There is little to no satisfaction in doing that shit other than making those people stop pressuring us.
Since I mentioned before how important is our environment for our level of motivation, I believe it is important to mention that having motivational and motivated people in our environment can be a huge asset. This is the main reason why going to seminars where we can find similar people has an impact (for a while). Going to meetings and watching different influencers doing their best to bring value into our lives can be very motivating as well. In those moments we need to start, if we haven’t started yet, and after we start, we need to go forward.
Environment can also mean distractions. These distractions by themselves are not necessarily motivating nor they “destroy” our motivation, but they switch our focus from what we need to do to…whatever. There is always a message to check or a new like on Facebook or another task to do even though it’s not that urgent.
In a podcast, Tai Lopez said that our attention span is less than the one a goldfish has. I thought that’s bullshit so I did a quick Google search (to be noticed that I interrupted the podcast to search something) and it seems that there is some truth here. Microsoft did a study and it seems that our multitasking ability increased, but our attention span it is indeed less than the one of a goldfish.
Honestly, I don’t know why we’re compared to goldfish, but it an interesting finding. No wonder it’s harder to do something nowadays. If we cannot pay attention more than 8 seconds (that’s what the study concluded), it might take longer to finish something. I believe this might be a problem because it can lead to loosing ideas. Did it ever happen to you to start writing something and you had some very interesting ideas and after a while (8 seconds probably), you stopped to check your phone or something and some of those ideas escaped your mind? It happened to me (and it still happens from time to time).
It actually makes sense. Our smartphone is the main reason this happens, especially if we have the notifications on. If it makes a sound, any sound, we feel the need to check it. Basically, we’re its bitch. There are so many apps installed on this thing and each of it “needs” to be checked to make sure we’re up to date with everything. Even when the notifications are off, we still feel the need to check just to make sure we don’t miss anything. I’m wondering if goldfish do the same since we’re in the same category of attention. If we continue in this rhythm, will it come a time when the goldfish will be the ones doing the studies comparing themselves to us?
What stops you from staying focused?