I sometimes wonder how our past affects our present and in what way. I’m not talking about actions we did in the past which have some effects on our present. I’m talking about remembering things and situations. Our memories are as powerful in influencing our present feelings as our present day. This is how it works: we remember something from our past (positive or negative) which will trigger a corresponding emotion and this emotion will bring into our mind more memories from the same range. It not always starts with a memory. Sometimes it starts with a thought that triggers an emotion that will bring into our minds some memories that can feed that emotion. It’s a crazy circle.
Have you noticed that when we feel a little down, we remember more and more shitty situations from our past and this brings us lower? The interesting part is that this happens for the good things too. When we’re feeling good, we can remember things from our past that made us feel good.
Our minds have the ability to find things related to the ones we already think/feel. If we can lock into a thought or a feeling we want to have, our mind will do the best it can to bring more of that to us. Are we scared about something? Our mind can find more things to be scared in that moment. Do we like a certain car? Our mind will find more nice things we can do with that car. Whatever our mind brings to us, it’s not necessary what we truly think or want. Those things come from unconscious self so we most likely got in touch with that through a movie, a story etc.
Bottom line, memories can influence our present by feeding the feelings we already have. So if we have positive feelings, we’ll find ourselves having positive memories. The same thing applies to the negative feelings.
Which memory affects you the most?
Reblogged this on Cori's Ramblings and commented:
Interesting and insightful post from a blog I follow !
Thank you very much for your reblog!
You’re very welcome! It resonated with me! Great Blog!
Honestly, I was such a different person when I was younger and yet when I dream, it’s almost as is my past self is living his life out on an entirely different timeline with no one from my present I recognize including my wife and kids. It’s crazy and I hate that I can’t remember most of the dreams, but just bits and pieces
Maybe it’s for the better that you can’t remember…
Right now the memories that is affecting me the most are my previous relationships with people and how I felt abandoned, neglected, and had to rely on myself more and more each day. Sometimes I feel like I’m spiralling away from everyone, other times I use it to remind myself of what got me there in the first place so I can avoid going back there in the future.
I think this might be a good thing. You learned to rely and trust yourself more than others…
Yeah, that is true. Sometimes it would be marvelous to have trust in someone as well from time to time.
I believe memories are important whether they are good or bad. Memories shape who we are. I didn’t realize that till I started having memory loss. So when I do have a memory that is triggered by something. I embrace it even if it’s a traumatic one. I think it’s all in how you cope with it and try not to let the past affect you’re present in a negative way.
Yes, I totally agree with it. How come you started having memory loss?
The memories that affect me the most are the ones where I was too scared to try… and memories do morph into our present.
So you regret not doing some things?
Yeah.. I do. But I’m here because I let things pass. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.
So true, i think the memories that affect me the most are my unhappy childhood memories.
That’s tough… what can help you get over them?
I think I kinda push them away with the new memories that i make now, and I try to focus on what’s ahead
Excellent! I am working on an exercise with memories, and this fits perfectly!
Awesome! Thank you for reading! 🙂
Negative memories and emotions affect me the most. It’s been hypothesized that our brain does that as a survival tool: remember the dumb things that almost got you killed so don’t repeat them. With depression and anxiety, this works in overdrive for me. I have to actively stack up the successes I’ve had, just to prove I should still be here. It’s exhausting.
It is exhausting because it requires much more energy…
Interesting perspective. 🙂 Lately I’ve been wondering if some of the memories I have of my past are of things that really happened or if they’re residing in my mind as false memories, where my brain has distorted some stuff. Maybe it’s just me, but sometimes it feels difficult to piece together a whole concrete story of my life. It’s as if some things feel too unreal now to ever have happened. Like they don’t fit into the current picture or something. Maybe it’s partly denial too, it’s just interesting to think about.
It’s probably because life is so complex that one concrete story cannot cover it all. Maybe there are too many side stories involved 🙂
Death of my grandparents.
Grandfather (Nana Abu) died instantly. He had teacup in his hand and it just fell down and he was gone.
On the other hand, my grandmother (Nani ama), she was hospitalized for 6 months and died in a hospital bed surrounded by her sister and two sons.
I have never loved anyone this much, else than my mother, and its just been a year that they are gone. I can still sense them around, see them in my dreams.
I’m so sorry you had to go through this… Sometimes, life gets very challenging…