Ah. Such a great question! My own expectations I feel is what hurts the most. I believe that others think I will fail, so in the time I create my own fears.
Exactly.
In my case – just with other words the expectation to be loved – and actually not to be loved but manipulated by somebody without empathy and limited range of feelings.
I thought this person is not able to express feelings but in fact, he had none of the feelings I expected. The moment of recognition was shocking….and I started to doubt my observation and assessment again after short time.
A bitter (red) pill to swollow.
These days I do. I used to hide who I truly am. I would like them to see who I truly am and accept it. They don’t have to agree with me. Just accept me for who I am.
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Expectation that ‘if you cannot rank the highest, then you are not worthy.’
I know this phenomena too…and I wonder why am I so arrogant to think that my place is always in the top 5%.
It is also very strange that I do not have these high expectations towards others. I would never think of somebody – who is no key performer – that he/she is not worthy.
Possibly, we set high standards for ourselves as a kind of self sabotage. So, if we fail our bad opinion about ourselves will be confirmed once more.
I even cannot enjoy successes that I`ve achieved “too easily”.
My expectation that I’d live forever 😆 Okay, at least until I’m 70. And that if I exercised and ate right, I’d avoid heart disease and cancer…so far I have one.
Expecting to live according to the perfect schedule I had built in my head. Not the case! And then, expectations on friends: loyalty, honesty, empathy instead of jealousy. Not the case again! But I over passed them all and I don’t have any anymore 🙂
The expectation to financially sound, married, comfortably paying for a nice home for me an my family. The expectation that IF I DRESS WELL, KEEP MY HAIR AND FACE GROOMED, SPEAK WELL, BE RESPECTFUL AND PROFESSIONAL IN PRESENTING MYSELF, ALONG WITH MY HUNGER FOR READING WRITING AND CONSTANT LEARNING AND REFLECTION, that I would have somehow by this point ACCOMPLISHED A DREAM, ALONG WITH MY PROFESSIONAL CAREER THAT WOULD MAKE ME EVEN MORE FINANCIALLY SOUND AT THIS POINT!
I am not financially sound; dressing well hasn’t bought me a damn thing, not even a steady beautiful woman, hardly any decent casual pussy. I HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED ONE MAJOR DREAM I HAD IN LIFE! The only dreams I have accomplished are those that accumulate apropos with time and average effort: college graduate, job in my field once upon a time, new car purchase, move to a major city, AND NOT LIVE ON WELFARE, EVER!
At this point, I have no more expectations, NO MORE DREAMS OR EXPECTATIONS THAT A DREAM WILL POSSIBLY COME TRUE, except to maybe dream to see if I WAS A WHITE MAN, WITH MY SAME EDUCATION, SELF-ESTEEM, CONFIDENCE, HUNGER FOR READING AND KNOWLEDGE AND ADVANCEMENT, AND DRESSED AS WELL AS I ONCE DID, WOULD I STILL BE AS BROKE AND UNSUCCESSFUL (AS FAR AS FINANCE/MONEY GOES) AS I AM!!!???
Ah. Such a great question! My own expectations I feel is what hurts the most. I believe that others think I will fail, so in the time I create my own fears.
That my definition of being “loved” was one of being abused.
Exactly.
In my case – just with other words the expectation to be loved – and actually not to be loved but manipulated by somebody without empathy and limited range of feelings.
I thought this person is not able to express feelings but in fact, he had none of the feelings I expected. The moment of recognition was shocking….and I started to doubt my observation and assessment again after short time.
A bitter (red) pill to swollow.
Often, those we placed on ourselves
Often, unrealistic/ a little too close to “perfection”
I think mine is from expecting others to accept and love me for who I really am.
Do you always show your true colors?
And I wonder what you like them to see in you?
These days I do. I used to hide who I truly am. I would like them to see who I truly am and accept it. They don’t have to agree with me. Just accept me for who I am.
Expectation that ‘if you cannot rank the highest, then you are not worthy.’
I know this phenomena too…and I wonder why am I so arrogant to think that my place is always in the top 5%.
It is also very strange that I do not have these high expectations towards others. I would never think of somebody – who is no key performer – that he/she is not worthy.
Possibly, we set high standards for ourselves as a kind of self sabotage. So, if we fail our bad opinion about ourselves will be confirmed once more.
I even cannot enjoy successes that I`ve achieved “too easily”.
My expectation that I’d live forever 😆 Okay, at least until I’m 70. And that if I exercised and ate right, I’d avoid heart disease and cancer…so far I have one.
Probably, you will die perfectly healthy… 😉
Expecting my mother to love me, but she passed away last year.
Im sorry for your loss
The expectation that people will do their best to treat you with respect and kindness. This especially applies to dating personally.
Any expectation that I failed to meet 🙁
The betrayal of my soul love.
The one that hurt me the most: expecting my friends to love me and accept me despite my flaws.
The expectation that I can just give and give and give until there is nothing left of me.
The expectation that I won’t be hurt by others.
Expectations from myself
Expecting I was worth it but in the end I wasn’t.
Expecting to live according to the perfect schedule I had built in my head. Not the case! And then, expectations on friends: loyalty, honesty, empathy instead of jealousy. Not the case again! But I over passed them all and I don’t have any anymore 🙂
The expectation to financially sound, married, comfortably paying for a nice home for me an my family. The expectation that IF I DRESS WELL, KEEP MY HAIR AND FACE GROOMED, SPEAK WELL, BE RESPECTFUL AND PROFESSIONAL IN PRESENTING MYSELF, ALONG WITH MY HUNGER FOR READING WRITING AND CONSTANT LEARNING AND REFLECTION, that I would have somehow by this point ACCOMPLISHED A DREAM, ALONG WITH MY PROFESSIONAL CAREER THAT WOULD MAKE ME EVEN MORE FINANCIALLY SOUND AT THIS POINT!
I am not financially sound; dressing well hasn’t bought me a damn thing, not even a steady beautiful woman, hardly any decent casual pussy. I HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED ONE MAJOR DREAM I HAD IN LIFE! The only dreams I have accomplished are those that accumulate apropos with time and average effort: college graduate, job in my field once upon a time, new car purchase, move to a major city, AND NOT LIVE ON WELFARE, EVER!
At this point, I have no more expectations, NO MORE DREAMS OR EXPECTATIONS THAT A DREAM WILL POSSIBLY COME TRUE, except to maybe dream to see if I WAS A WHITE MAN, WITH MY SAME EDUCATION, SELF-ESTEEM, CONFIDENCE, HUNGER FOR READING AND KNOWLEDGE AND ADVANCEMENT, AND DRESSED AS WELL AS I ONCE DID, WOULD I STILL BE AS BROKE AND UNSUCCESSFUL (AS FAR AS FINANCE/MONEY GOES) AS I AM!!!???
How many years did it pass since you started?
That ‘I’m here for you’ really meant ‘I’m here for you.’
Expected perfection then later betrayal.
The ones that are unspoken. If people do not communicate their expectations, they are often not met.