Let’s talk about time with our loved ones today. People who are important for us.
No one is entirely alone. We all either have some or all of our families and a few friends. But we still often feel alone. Why is that?
There are many reasons for this, as nothing is one-directional. But I believe that one major reason is that we isolate ourselves. Most of this isolation is forced by the modern system in work life. The fact that traveling and living far are much easier now compared to before is also very effective in that aspect because many people live in other places than where their families are. Both these factors mean that we spend less time with our loved ones. We see them much less often. Because we see them less, we tend to start forgetting that they are a part of our lives. We have become who we are thanks to them. When we start forgetting them, we tend to call or meet them less often. In time, we may rarely see some people that we deemed important before. When that happens, the few people in our lives become fewer.
We are not to blame for this. Modern life is forcing us in that direction and I do not think it is possible to stop that progression. We will be in it. But I do believe that we can make it slightly better. One way I found really useful is to make it an obligation for myself to call the important people in my life for at least five minutes a day (or every other day). I used to call them more rarely and speak longer. But now, it is shorter and more often. This consistency helps condition my brain that these people are still a part of my life and I can talk to them when I need to. Another similar thing is to force on ourselves some trips to visit some of these people even if we believe we don’t have time. Because more often than not, we do. We just forgot some important part of our lives. Parts that require some time. When we go there, spending actual time with them is also important. These efforts on our parts signal to our brains that we take these people seriously and we dare not forget them. And that reduces the loneliness we feel. It also fulfills our natural instinct to bond with our likes. The lack of this fulfillment is a major reason of the feeling of emptiness.
What do you think? Are you in enough contact with your family and friends? Is there anything you do specially so you know they are important for you? How much time do you dedicate to your loved ones and what do you do in that time? Let’s chat.