Attempting to filter out the negative. Life is just as much bad as it is good and it seems some children come of age severely maladapted for the darker parts of life. We need to drop the fairy tales lies and sugar coating, in my opinion.
Trying to live vicariously through them…planning out their entire lives and becoming disappointed, and sometimes even disparaging, when they realize that the child has their own views, talents, strengths, goals, etc.
Not accepting them as individuals, imposing their will on them, abusing them indirectly or otherwise, failing to follow through with discipline, failing to realize the word “discipline” means “to teach”, rejecting their personal truth, enabling them through entitlement, and failure to provide guidance. Most parents are either too stringent or too lenient. It is all about balance and attentiveness.
Following trends. Every child is different. Going traditional might not work, going new age might not work either. Recognize your child as an individual and learn about them as they’re learning learning about themselves.
Wanting to live through the children. Some parents almost attempt becoming God to their children. They behave as if they new what kind of person(s) they were going to give birth to.
We all have values in life. Of course we teach our children our values. We all want our children to have the best future they can, so we try to instill a love of learning through various ways.
They measure their ability to do something instead of thinking abilities of their child to do something. Guidance is advised but the let kid make their decision. Don’t force your kid to chose something which they can’t do it. I was good with math and science but both my kids are good in psychology and sociology and they are computer geeks. I never told them to follow my path or their father’s. But keep them on the track. I still have access to their university portal.
No consequences or accountability. Kids need to learn that if they do something stupid (and what kid hasn’t?) there’s going to be consequences. Or as a friend of mine put it “Justice was swift and terrible.” My grandson knows I *will* put him in time out if he doesn’t behave. He also know that if he tests me by kicking the hula hoop I use for time out, or tries to inch his way out, time out starts over again. It’s a consistency. He has also learned that “Sure, you can scoot down the stairs on your bottom, but you will get a serious wedgie.” Lesson learned. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to set and reinforce boundaries. I think it’s a lot easier to cave in to the child, but a household should not be run by a toddler.
Not encouraging risk taking and not teaching good conflict management. Also parents who refuse to let their child be unhappy and who take every measure to prevent it to the point of turning the kid into a selfish brat.
Attempting to filter out the negative. Life is just as much bad as it is good and it seems some children come of age severely maladapted for the darker parts of life. We need to drop the fairy tales lies and sugar coating, in my opinion.
Trying to live vicariously through them…planning out their entire lives and becoming disappointed, and sometimes even disparaging, when they realize that the child has their own views, talents, strengths, goals, etc.
conditional love
Assuming the child is an extension of or a mini them
Coming from a mother’s point of view, I don’t think there is such thing. I think parents are doing their best with the things that they have and know.
Not accepting them as individuals, imposing their will on them, abusing them indirectly or otherwise, failing to follow through with discipline, failing to realize the word “discipline” means “to teach”, rejecting their personal truth, enabling them through entitlement, and failure to provide guidance. Most parents are either too stringent or too lenient. It is all about balance and attentiveness.
Following trends. Every child is different. Going traditional might not work, going new age might not work either. Recognize your child as an individual and learn about them as they’re learning learning about themselves.
Not teaching them to be accountable for their own choices/behaviors.
Giving them everything they want, not being consistent, not giving them enough affection.
Wanting to live through the children. Some parents almost attempt becoming God to their children. They behave as if they new what kind of person(s) they were going to give birth to.
We all have values in life. Of course we teach our children our values. We all want our children to have the best future they can, so we try to instill a love of learning through various ways.
They don’t teach their kids how to feel empathy for others.
Thinking that parenting stops when they become adults. And also thinking to educate them is just school. It’s in life’s lessons also.
They measure their ability to do something instead of thinking abilities of their child to do something. Guidance is advised but the let kid make their decision. Don’t force your kid to chose something which they can’t do it. I was good with math and science but both my kids are good in psychology and sociology and they are computer geeks. I never told them to follow my path or their father’s. But keep them on the track. I still have access to their university portal.
Thinking they have the answers to everything.
Not admitting that for some things in life, there just are no answers.
Using electronic media to entertain them before they are 2 years old.
Contradiction – expectations versus instructions.
In my humble opinion, allowing the child to follow their own dreams and becoming what and who they wish to be… 🙂
“The teacher who is indeed wise does not bid you to enter the house of his wisdom but rather leads you to the threshold of your mind.” Kahlil Gibran
Setting boundries and be consistent. Also let them live and follow their dream and not yours.
Okay enough tried answering questions today.
I read and answered the question wrong again… Dang
No consequences or accountability. Kids need to learn that if they do something stupid (and what kid hasn’t?) there’s going to be consequences. Or as a friend of mine put it “Justice was swift and terrible.” My grandson knows I *will* put him in time out if he doesn’t behave. He also know that if he tests me by kicking the hula hoop I use for time out, or tries to inch his way out, time out starts over again. It’s a consistency. He has also learned that “Sure, you can scoot down the stairs on your bottom, but you will get a serious wedgie.” Lesson learned. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to set and reinforce boundaries. I think it’s a lot easier to cave in to the child, but a household should not be run by a toddler.
Living your life through your child.
Not encouraging risk taking and not teaching good conflict management. Also parents who refuse to let their child be unhappy and who take every measure to prevent it to the point of turning the kid into a selfish brat.
Not letting them make mistakes. It’s tricky though:)