Rephrasing is a therapeutic technique developed by Carl Rogers which represents the expression in a more concise way whatever the other person just said (rephrasing is different from reframing which is another therapeutic method, but this second one is used for changing the context or the perspective with a different one that fits at least as good). Since he was a psychologist, he developed this method as a way to enhance the therapeutic process, but can we use it in our daily lives?
Basically, rephrasing means saying the same crap with different words. While reading about this, I remembered what Jacques Salome and Sylvie Galland wrote about the steps each communication should have (I’ve described them here) and I think that this rephrasing could be successfully used for part 4, confirming that you understood what the other said.
I believe this is useful because we can test our understanding about what the other just said and if we get it right, we’ll create the impression to the person we’re trying to communicate with that he/she has been understood and if we’re not getting it right, we’re giving the chance to that person to explain it better. This way, I believe that the communication process is improved.
Here is a rephrasing example:
Person 1: I’ve started to talk to the phone with my mother in that worst moment and you know what that’s like.
Person 2: (Instead of just saying I do, which implies filtering this affirmation through own life experiences): So talking to the phone with your mother changed that worst moment?
Person 1: Yes, it made it better. It was the best timing ever!
When we know that person better, we might know what he or she is referring to, but maybe a short confirmation wouldn’t harm. That person will feel that he or she is listened and understood while our level of knowing and understanding that person increases. Doing this also provokes us and the others to be more specific in what we say, which is what Jordan B. Peterson recommends.
How often do you rephrase while communicating and how people react to it?
I don’t do this enough. My husband and I communicate on very different levels, and sometimes there’s this *wait… what?* interaction in which things have to be backtracked and reconsidered. This is a great tool, and it creates a better dialogue when used.
It’s interesting that when someone doesn’t understand something we’ve said we have a tendency to repeat the same words louder, as if we think they didn’t hear rather than understand. Plus, repeating the same words implies fault on the recipient’s side. Paraphrasing works better, particularly when speaking to someone who is communicating in a second language. It also works best to confirm understand when you are the recipient of the communication.
I truly like the image you have uploaded. 😂 It was an accurate example of what communication is all about. 😉💯👌
Since we are all here to blog, visuals are also important so as not to be misunderstood. Of course, it’s a different thing when we are communicating to someone in person. And may I just add that for you to be well understood, you also have to be more specific and give enough details. Like asking your mom to buy you a perfume. You have to tell her of what brand is that. What kind of scent and what size you want. If you just tell her to buy a perfume. She’ll just buy whatever that she feels okay and you’ll just end up being frustrated about not receiving the perfume you truly wanted.
Sorry for the lengthy comment. 😅 I just felt that I need to at least say something. I was just moved by your topic. 😍 That’s all. ☺