We do things every day. Some of them we enjoy doing, others to do because we have to and some we do because we need to. There is this thing I’ve noticed: whenever we have to do things, we sometimes feel worse compared to the things we need to do. Why is this happening?
I believe this happens because when we have to do things, we subconsciously feel obligated to do them. It’s not something that we want to do, but we’re forced to do and we hate when we’re forced to do things. But when we need to do things, it implies a desire coming from our own self even if we don’t necessarily like that. For example, when I say “I have to go to work” I feel some resentment compared to when I say “I need to go to work” which is a little better because I’m doing it for myself, not for the circumstances that force me to do it (like bills or food; yeah, I need those too, but if I say I have to, it can create the feeling that I can live without those things).
As you notice, the situation is the same, but the way we’re labeling it makes the difference in the way we feel. I believe that in the end, all we want is to feel better with the life we’re living so I’m willing to try almost anything that seems to help with this. Since I’ve started labeling these things as needs, I feel like I have more control over my life.
What’s your opinion about this? Have you noticed anything similar?
yes………I tell myself, I get to go to work, I get to go grocery shopping. It makes me realized that I am in control and choosing to participate in activities puts me in a better state of mind.
Labeling makes all the difference. NLP calls that kind of label change reframing and it’s a meta level change tool.
Good post. 🙂
That’s so true. If you fill yourself with the feeling that you have to do certain things, even the things you liked to do before feels like a burden.
I, as well. GET to go to work and the gym. Perspective is everything!
Yep, have to is a chore & I rebel against them. I don’t find need is any better.
Get to, choose to. Afterall there is very little we actually have to or need to, once we accept that actions (& lack of action) have consequences we find we are better off doing the things anyway.