We are conditioned as children to circumvent taboo topics in an effort to coexist peacefully on this planet. Topics that uncover controversial ideas are not meant to be mentioned and barely even thought about. Today I’d like to introduce a subject which is bound to unveil some uncomfortable emotions, but can actually help you plan your future: Fear.
Fear fills our body to alert us of a perceived sense of danger, but fear can actually help us in more than just fight or flight instances. A relatively new exercise called fear setting actually helps us measure our fears and develop our dreams through them, not around them. It can be the perception shift you’ve been waiting for.
Fear setting basically works like this:
- First, imagine your craziest dreams and goals. Those goals you always wanted to do, but never quite had the courage. The goals you always thought there’d be a better time for, but it’s been years without progress.
- Next, ask yourself, “What’s the worst thing that could happen if I pursued this goal and failed?” Would my life really be over if I failed? Would things be that bad I couldn’t recover and work myself out again?
- Lastly, work through this thought process by imagining yourself taking on this goal full-heartedly and unbeknownst to the outcome. At this point you might realize how the journey, process, and experience is actually worth more to you than the outcome itself. You will start to detach yourself from the “results” which is where the magic happens. Now you can focus solely on putting in 100% effort and get to the grind.
One of the worst feelings is realizing you’re holding yourself back. It’s more gut-wrenching than making a mistake, because at least you can learn from it and know you tried. Nothing is worse than wondering what could’ve been if you had only believed in yourself.
Stop listening to your inner critic, and start taking life by the horns!!
What are some dreams you’ve never given yourself the chance to pursue? What factors have led you to not pursing your dreams? Is it fear, lack of courage, or something else?
Or if you have gone out on a limb to chase your dreams… What is the best parcel of advice you would share with a friend who was unsure of themselves?
I hope you enjoyed this exercise and plan to make some changes in your life or share with others. Namaste!
My personal blog can be found here: http://www.poemsandprose.travel.blog
You have the gift of witting to each reader … we all feel like you’re writing just to us…
Or …. maybe you are writing to me …
🧡💕🧡💕
I do try to write as if I’m personally speaking to each of my readers because I really am! I choose quality over quantity any day.
Me at age 17. Wish; Joining the army. What’s the worst that can happen? Torture or dying. Toke it wholeheartedly and took life by the horns. Survived as one of the few (that’s how and why military pensions are so generous). Namaste.
Exceedingly courageous and brave of you- I can’t even fathom it. Do you remember the thought that made you want to commit to the Army?
I was the oldest of five and my parents didn’t have the money to finance further education. In fact they were looking at me to increase the family budget. The army was the only place where you could get a degree and getting paid for it. Didn’t look any further at that time: it was either that or the noisy, stinking factory. Till I reached the age of 25 my whole salary went integrally to my parents and I could only keep the bonuses I received for being stationed abroad or having put in some overtime (guard duties, etc…). Being in the army, boarding, clothes (uniforms)and food were included. I only stopped contributing when my youngest brother graduated as en engineer.
An amazing story, and something you can proudly carry with you for your entire life and inspire others as well. Thank you for sharing and for your service.
I love this. I find it interesting that we have a fear of fear. Lol. I mean we are afraid that we will not achieve what we are meant to achieve because we are afraid to achieve it. :).
The psychology behind fear is indeed interesting, to say the least. It’s even more odd how we as a society don’t really talk about it. If you think about it on a personal level, how many of the closest people in your life actually know your biggest fear? It’s crazy to think how it’s such a taboo topic, yet it can dictate so much of our lives…
I find it very interesting and I am grateful for your wonderful post and thoughtful insights into this subject. 😄
Of course, and my thanks to you as an active reader and your perceptive comments 🙂 Best, Ellen
This is very resourceful.
Thank you for reading and for your support!
My pleasure
That’s an old technique from NLP. 🙂 It works though,
Hm never heard of it before, but yes it works
Loved this post, one of the best ones I have ever read. SImple yet thought provoking. Helped me ton, thanks!!!
Hi Siva, thanks so much for reading and for your support. It makes my day to be able to help my readers in any small way! Best, Ellen
What a great idea!!! Something else that I’ve learned recently is that fear and excitement feel the exact same in our bodies. The only difference is what we choose to name it. So who says that fear can’t be excitement? Thanks for posting this!
Hi KJ, I love that realization you had. It’s really so true- all we have to shift is our perception which changes everything. Thanks for sharing!
Amazing isn’t it? I’m actually going through the feeling right now which is why I thought of it. 🙂
I’ve definitely experienced it whether before a big game as an athlete, or before my most recent interview! Fear and excitement activate the same feelings in our bodies, it’s just how we interpret them that’s different!
Great post and great idea. I write about fear and me on http://bellesdays.com. Even though I’m a disabled person I still try to achieve goals and even though I’m fearful overcoming that and achieving is a great feeling. Your blog is great.
Hi Belle, thank you so much for your support and I am so honored to have written something that made a positive impact on you. Take care and never let fear stop you from achieving your goals! Best, Ellen
Interesting…I’ll definitely put this to action over the weekend!
Well done!
This is awesome to hear! What part do you feel worked best for you? Was there anything new you came across you’d recommend to try?
Thank you Pauline! How did it end up working for you?
Love this! Reminds me of a book I just read called Beginner’s Pluck by Liz Forkin Bohannon. If you haven’t read it, I think you would thoroughly enjoy it! It has a lot to do with what you’ve written. Thanks for these great thoughts!
Hi Mary, thanks so much for the book recommendation, I love when someone personally recommends me a book they think I’d love… It’s a great way to pass some of this free time I have! Thanks for reading, <3E