most of my life…until this year really and then, regardless as to wether it was or is true, i just realized it didn’t matter. I am enough. I am ok without anyones approval , permission or attention..53 years to get that!
I know people don’t necessarily think poorly of me, if I even cross their mind at all. However, my inner critic isn’t sure whether it is better or worse to be forgotten or deplored..?
The other day I wasn’t wearing my toenail polish and I hid my toe all day especially when with ladies. My mind kept telling me they’ve seen me. 😃 ‘now they’re thinking you don’t care about your looks anymore’
I know that my ex constantly thinks bad things about me. I also know that in her narcissistic ways, she continues to bad mouth me and fill others heads with lies about me to make them hate me, too. I try to move forward hoping that if someone really wants to know the truth, they will come and ask me.
Not of the type who cares what others think. After all, not all fingers are sized same. If someone thinks ‘incorrectly’ about me, then it is ‘logically’ his/her mistake, which lets me know, 😀 the level of overconfidence of that person. However, this attitude had its own drawback, especially when you want to ‘convince’ that someone, say to make a deal.
Like others, I’m moving past it. I still notice if people disapprove of me. But I release my emotional connection with it. If everyone is thinking poorly, then I need to address it.
It usually starts with, “nobody cares,” and then it snowballs. I start adding to it. Nobody cares about you, about what you do, and so on. Eventually one incomplete sentence turns into a pointless, painful and unwinnable argument. How often? When there’s a challenge. So I go back to purpose, because about that, I care.
When I was really low on self-confidence a few years ago, I noticed a woman (who I knew because she taught my kids at the school round the corner) parking in the road adjacent instead of ours, as she usually did. I thought: “Oh, there’s X. She’s parking there because she doesn’t like me,” and then stopped to think about what I’d just thought and how utterly ridiculous it was. It was so silly to think like that without any evidence at all – in fact, I later worked with her and she became quite a good mate at work – that it set my thinking right, in a way. From then on, I started to question all of the irrational automatic thoughts I had about myself and other people and they’ve never been as bad since! So, sorry Bogdan, the short answer is “Not as much as I did once, but the thoughts sure were wild and unpredictable when they came.”
I have found that the correlation is directly linked to how I feel about myself. If I feel good and have a positive self-outlook than the occurrence is rare. However, if I am feeling low and poor or insecure than the occurrence is much greater.
As I’ve matured, I actually give a lot less thought to what others may, or may not think of me. I know what I look like. I know my strengths and weaknesses. How someone else chooses to look at any of that isn’t my problem, it’s theirs. I just wish I’d liked myself this much when I was younger.
This question was just too much to answer in a reply. I posted about it. I didn’t provide a link because I didn’t know if that would be appropriate. (Somewhat new to this.)
Interestingly enough, my default was this idea that I cared so much about what man thought of me. I do take into consideration my actions and behavior in circumstances and try and be respectful of each other’s personality types. Pleasing God is a much better perspective. Please God, not man. It helps me keep loving others in check and how I am showing up in life as well. 🙂 What a fun blog you have here. Are you using it to write a book?
I’d like to think that I don’t care what people think about me but I know that I do, at times, and my vanity gets the better of me, especially when out in public (I hate wearing my glasses in public). I don’t care what men think of me anymore, I’m at a stage in my life where the only opinions I really care about are those of my family and friends. I’m not in the market for a relationship but when it comes to looking for work, I care about my appearance and how I come across.
I don’t want waste my time. This is my life. If I give space to someone to influence on me, then it’s not my life. Let them think. But I can’t act as per their expectations.
It’s like an automatic reset sort of a thing. I don’t realise it consciously. It just happens. One minute I’m doing something, next minute a thought crashes, ‘What will they think of me?’
‘They’ can be anyone. Doesn’t matter. All that matters is what will they think!
This reminds of a Hindi quote which translates to: If we think about what others are going to think, then what will ‘others’ think!
I used to overthink what people thought or said about me. But, now, I learn to not overthinking anymore cause I understand that I can’t please everyone.
Almost always! It’s so hard not to automatically assume other people’s judgements are negative. But in reality almost no one really cares about you at all…everyone’s just encased in their own little bubble.
Far too often. It’s unavoidable, I think. No matter how hard we try to “not care what other people think,” it’s been my experience that I always do. I think the trick is finding a balance of staying true to who I am, while still respecting the experience of others. 🕊
Well, I want to know what people think about me, but I try hard, very hard not to allow these thoughts have any form of negative effect on me. If the thoughts turn out to be positive! Hurray! Keep living! 😃
Ohhh I actually do not care until it is been said to me face to face but I actually think bad about people which is my worry because then my heart starts to ache because I do not like that person and then I start the mantra of calming myself down and say to myself that this person has no right to make me feel bad. It’s a journey.
I was that person. It always affected me “what would people say”, now I have overcome that to a great extent, because i made myself aware of the fact that “It doesn’t matter” you cannot please everyone and that’s a bitter truth. 🙂
All the time! Literally all the time.
Sometimes when I want to evaluate some situation that requires me to be cognitive of optics
with mostly any thought, i think a lot of the time people are just judging me or hating my every move. it’s a game i can’t win with my mind
most of my life…until this year really and then, regardless as to wether it was or is true, i just realized it didn’t matter. I am enough. I am ok without anyones approval , permission or attention..53 years to get that!
It’s never too late 💜
“I am enough” is the Truth and helps us to transcend the illusions.
I know people don’t necessarily think poorly of me, if I even cross their mind at all. However, my inner critic isn’t sure whether it is better or worse to be forgotten or deplored..?
The other day I wasn’t wearing my toenail polish and I hid my toe all day especially when with ladies. My mind kept telling me they’ve seen me. 😃 ‘now they’re thinking you don’t care about your looks anymore’
in the past all the time! now, not so much, becoming aware of it helps stop it.
I know that my ex constantly thinks bad things about me. I also know that in her narcissistic ways, she continues to bad mouth me and fill others heads with lies about me to make them hate me, too. I try to move forward hoping that if someone really wants to know the truth, they will come and ask me.
Not of the type who cares what others think. After all, not all fingers are sized same. If someone thinks ‘incorrectly’ about me, then it is ‘logically’ his/her mistake, which lets me know, 😀 the level of overconfidence of that person. However, this attitude had its own drawback, especially when you want to ‘convince’ that someone, say to make a deal.
These days, very less..actually not at all. That thought just doesn’t cross my mind!
Very often, particularly after face to face conversations which I post-analyse!
i use to think about it all the time, but these days i really don’t care, am to busy trying to be a better person than i was yesterday
Only when I think I’ve handled a situation badly. If I don’t think this, it doesn’t occur to me that others may think bad of me.
This tells me that it’s my problem to deal with, not other people’s. I handle the situation better next time.
Too often, even though I know it really doesn’t matter
Like others, I’m moving past it. I still notice if people disapprove of me. But I release my emotional connection with it. If everyone is thinking poorly, then I need to address it.
It usually starts with, “nobody cares,” and then it snowballs. I start adding to it. Nobody cares about you, about what you do, and so on. Eventually one incomplete sentence turns into a pointless, painful and unwinnable argument. How often? When there’s a challenge. So I go back to purpose, because about that, I care.
This is a loaded subject for me. I’ll address it in depth.
When I was really low on self-confidence a few years ago, I noticed a woman (who I knew because she taught my kids at the school round the corner) parking in the road adjacent instead of ours, as she usually did. I thought: “Oh, there’s X. She’s parking there because she doesn’t like me,” and then stopped to think about what I’d just thought and how utterly ridiculous it was. It was so silly to think like that without any evidence at all – in fact, I later worked with her and she became quite a good mate at work – that it set my thinking right, in a way. From then on, I started to question all of the irrational automatic thoughts I had about myself and other people and they’ve never been as bad since! So, sorry Bogdan, the short answer is “Not as much as I did once, but the thoughts sure were wild and unpredictable when they came.”
I rarely think about it! but if I do It would be ‘am i in their good books? am i an annoyance to them’
I have found that the correlation is directly linked to how I feel about myself. If I feel good and have a positive self-outlook than the occurrence is rare. However, if I am feeling low and poor or insecure than the occurrence is much greater.
As I’ve matured, I actually give a lot less thought to what others may, or may not think of me. I know what I look like. I know my strengths and weaknesses. How someone else chooses to look at any of that isn’t my problem, it’s theirs. I just wish I’d liked myself this much when I was younger.
Awesome!😀
This question was just too much to answer in a reply. I posted about it. I didn’t provide a link because I didn’t know if that would be appropriate. (Somewhat new to this.)
I see that when I posted my response it showed up here anyway. Ah, I get it!
Same.
I’ve finally reached the age where I don’t care what others think of me. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. Simple as that. 🙂
Fantastic!
Couldn’t have said that myself better!!
Interestingly enough, my default was this idea that I cared so much about what man thought of me. I do take into consideration my actions and behavior in circumstances and try and be respectful of each other’s personality types. Pleasing God is a much better perspective. Please God, not man. It helps me keep loving others in check and how I am showing up in life as well. 🙂 What a fun blog you have here. Are you using it to write a book?
I’d like to think that I don’t care what people think about me but I know that I do, at times, and my vanity gets the better of me, especially when out in public (I hate wearing my glasses in public). I don’t care what men think of me anymore, I’m at a stage in my life where the only opinions I really care about are those of my family and friends. I’m not in the market for a relationship but when it comes to looking for work, I care about my appearance and how I come across.
I don’t think about it very much, because I realize I cannot control others’ thoughts. I can only control my own. I think I’m getting old, it helps.
It looks like a lonely, sad person.
I used to! But I’ve come to know it’s pointless!
Whatever you do, people will have a million opinions! That is none of our business, their opinions are theirs!
I don’t want waste my time. This is my life. If I give space to someone to influence on me, then it’s not my life. Let them think. But I can’t act as per their expectations.
I used to think about it all the time. Now a days, i feel it doesn’t matter what others think of me. Still not completely done with it though 😀
It’s like an automatic reset sort of a thing. I don’t realise it consciously. It just happens. One minute I’m doing something, next minute a thought crashes, ‘What will they think of me?’
‘They’ can be anyone. Doesn’t matter. All that matters is what will they think!
This reminds of a Hindi quote which translates to: If we think about what others are going to think, then what will ‘others’ think!
I used to overthink what people thought or said about me. But, now, I learn to not overthinking anymore cause I understand that I can’t please everyone.
Almost always! It’s so hard not to automatically assume other people’s judgements are negative. But in reality almost no one really cares about you at all…everyone’s just encased in their own little bubble.
Rarely. I have found it is more important how I feel about myself and my actions then others, especially strangers think about me.
Interesting
Far too often. It’s unavoidable, I think. No matter how hard we try to “not care what other people think,” it’s been my experience that I always do. I think the trick is finding a balance of staying true to who I am, while still respecting the experience of others. 🕊
Well, I want to know what people think about me, but I try hard, very hard not to allow these thoughts have any form of negative effect on me. If the thoughts turn out to be positive! Hurray! Keep living! 😃
Ohhh I actually do not care until it is been said to me face to face but I actually think bad about people which is my worry because then my heart starts to ache because I do not like that person and then I start the mantra of calming myself down and say to myself that this person has no right to make me feel bad. It’s a journey.
I call them the Devil’s twin trouble-makers – “What will people think?” and “What will people say?”
Thoughts are the father of behavior. Thoughts of others control your career and your love life. So what people think is important.
To the extent that one can be insulated from the results of what people think, it is easy to say one doesn’t care about it.
I was that person. It always affected me “what would people say”, now I have overcome that to a great extent, because i made myself aware of the fact that “It doesn’t matter” you cannot please everyone and that’s a bitter truth. 🙂
Very often