I interrupt your regularly-scheduled blog reading to say:
SnapDragon is not okay.
Well, wait. That’s an exaggeration. I’m all right.
I guess what I mean is:
I get scared. I get overwhelmed. I get burned out.
Don’t get me wrong. All things considered, I live a very privileged life.
Security. Love. Comfort.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t have worries, or that I don’t feel pain.
Sometimes I feel:
like a fraud; like a failure; like a friendless hag.
Like everyone is smarter than me; no one understands me; people are so fucking fake.
It’s like teenage angst all over again.
But I also think it might be worse, because I’m supposed to be a Responsible Adult by now.
What excuse do I have?
Do more; be more; see more.
You’re too old for these foolish worries.
Get. it. together.
Then I ask you, in all sincerity:
When does it end?
When will I be truly comfortable in my own skin?
(a soft wind whispers among the trees)
Maybe never, Snap.
Maybe that is a part of the beauty.
Maybe–just maybe–that is what it means to be human.
. . .
SnapDragon is a writer. She’s working on her first novel, a novella, and a whimsical-yet-wonky blog. She enjoys chocolate-glazed donuts, Seinfeld, and high-quality body products.