The Good Side of Emotions

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Hi everyone,

Welcome to another Sunday post about my quarantine reflections! This is turning into a weekly report of what I contemplate most on that given week.

In my post last week (here), I talked about emotional ups and downs quarantine is causing us to experience. So, this week, I thought a bit more on emotions.

Emotionality has a taboo towards it. If you are emotional, that is sometimes considered weakness. That may be true when you don’t know how to handle your emotions. You might get angry very easily, which becomes a weakness you need to turn into strength. When your emotions become your strength, so you know how to handle them, emotions become our guides into our internal integrity and our union with the universe.

I am an emotional person. I am a writer, so that is not a very surprising fact. I always knew that side of me but different stages of my life reflected how I dealt with them differently. In my teenage years, I just blocked them because it was too much and I did not have the tools to govern them. So, I became easily irritable and way too reserved. My college years were the first time I started actually addressing my emotions, a journey that still continues to this day. Each year, I became better at understanding them. Right now, I can say I am very much in tune with my emotions. I immediately know what I feel at any moment and why I have that emotional reaction. That helps me handle my emotional state better.

What are the benefits of this?

First off, once you are in touch with your emotions, you get rid of internal conflicts. That was my dream state to live in when I was a teenager. Since I was blocking myself, I had a lot of internal conflict, which caused my irritation at the time. And I was dreaming that some day, I only wanted to feel peace inside of me, not conflict.

Second, my emotions now became my tool to connect. I connect with people through them. I connect with anything around me through them. I always had the dream to feel the unity in the universe. I take this connection as a step towards achieving that dream.

The first benefit essentially leads to the second.

I am thankful for this quarantine for helping me advance more in my understanding of my emotions, hence allowing me to feel less conflict and more unity in me.

Are you an emotional person? How do you handle your emotions? Did you experience a change in the way you handled them? Has the quarantine helped or harmed you in terms of your emotional understanding? Let’s discuss!

Betul


93 thoughts on “The Good Side of Emotions

      1. Oh sure. For example when I’m frustrated or angry I’m looking to start a fight I think it’s really that I want to connect but it less to negavitce connecting. if I’m feeling happy and fun I want to connect in a different way and it leads to more positive connections and interactions. My friend told me the other day I was confronting to connect. If I’m feeling at peace I tend to not want to connect, but rather observe. Or enjoy the space.

      2. I mean I’m also writing a ton drawing and cooking lots of creative ethnic foods;) so I agree with many of you that highly emotional people tend to be artists

      3. I like how you are very aware of the connection between your emotions and behavior. I think this awareness makes the connections even more valuable!

  1. You make a very good point that being emotional doesn’t make you weak, but not acknowledging them or mastering them does. It can be tempting to think you need to shut strong emotions away, but that can be unwise to make too much of a habit of, as there’s a lot we can learn from your emotions if you acknowledge them with patience and kindness.

  2. Well written, I used my emotional side to draw when I was a teenager and now I think emotions are a very human tendency that doesn’t mean weakness . As the quarantine progresses, the variations of emotional techniques we stumble into can either benefit us long term or not

    1. I believe the techniques we are trying now will eventually benefit us. If they work, great. If they don’t, we will know they don’t. Either way, it will be a plus.

  3. I’m a very emotional person, I’ve always called myself an empath. Emotions rule my life and I feel them very intensely. It’s gratifying in a way. Like you, I shoved my emotions deep down as a teenager and a good bit into my 20s. Right now I’m the most intune with them than I ever have been and I feel like I’m getting the whole euphoric experience through them. I’m able to sit down and process my thoughts and emotions through writing, music, reading the good word, cooking, or playing with my son. There are so many ways in which I take time for myself or to just be with my son and it helps tremendously. The quarantine life can’t handle me. I’ve been living this way for almost three years now and it’s not a big issue. I really enjoyed this. I could talk on an emotional level for days.

    1. Your comment sounded so much like me, except that I don’t have a son:) But I like taking time for myself too so that I can just process my emotions. It is a good feeling.

  4. I am emo sometimes. I have been told I am an empath. I think that is true because I am very aware of emotions of others when in conversations. I always try to keep people happy. Creative writing helps alot for me but I have connecting to others online. Maybe my emotional personality turns others off. I’d like to hear more about being able to control emotions. Thanks for the post.

    1. I also have been told that my emotional understanding might affect some people negatively. But this is just how I can live. For me, controlling emotions means letting them flow as they want. That sounds like it is going to create chaos. It did, sometimes, but not anymore. I think emotions balance at some point and you can let them flow freely while not being overwhelmed by it.

  5. Interesting read! I would definitely consider myself an emotional person. When I was younger I had a lot of trouble controlling my emotions, so I would feel a lot of highs and lows and never felt very emotionally stable. I thought that’s just how I was, but as I got older I started both opening up to people close to me and channeling my feelings into my creative works, which helped. Especially during quarantine I have been writing a lot, since there has absolutely been a mix of feelings lately!

      1. Yes I think it has! I would say that for me the act of writing down whatever I’m feeling or worried about is cathartic in itself, and it helps me process. Often when I get what’s in my head out onto paper it’s a sort of mental release.

  6. Very well put! For me, writing a journal helps as well. Whenever I am overcome by emotions, I write it down. It helps me calm down. I use the journal to reflect on why did I have an upsurge!And yes Lock Down, specially since we are confined to the 4 walls with fear of the disease lurking in the corner, surely makes us introspect and look at life from a new angle!

    1. I write stories on my own blog to handle my emotions and thoughts. The current situation is really an exceptional push to write to figure out emotions as well.

  7. I am continuing to get to know myself and the quarantine has allowed more time and space for this to happen. Connections with other people have improved too (unexpectedly) because although we are isolated, we talk more. I have made and received more phone calls and video chats than I normally would when our lives flash by at 100mph. I have found that people are more open about their emotions because everyone is finding this time difficult. It can only ever be a good thing opening up the lines of communication.

    1. I couldn’t agree more. I personally have been calling and talking to a lot of people too. And since everyone is experiencing similar emotional problems at the same time, there is a sense of universal sharing. This makes conversations flow as well.

  8. The quarantine actually had not much of an impact on my emotions, but shortly before it started (some months) I started to feel again after a long period of almost nothing. In a way like you described it. I found a way to use music as a translator for emotions which now actually helps a lot with my healing process. So for me everything seems to work out in a way with my emotions, but some things can still hit me very hard. Music helps me and always helped me. Because in my case I find similar music to my feeling and then I try to slowly change it and handle the cause (in case of painful emotions) of my emotions with it. Music was so far the best help with my emotions and I heard that it actually is used to heal brain cells and for therapy. So yeah, I did the right thing without knowing about it. 🙂 And thank you for your post.

    1. Music helps me a lot too. I tend to listen to the songs that express my emotions at any given time. I think it helps me really get to the bottom of that emotion. So, it makes me acknowledge the emotion. After this is done, I start listening to songs that will change my mood, if I feel I need to change it. There is something about music.

  9. Emotions are a challenge especially when having to deal with negative people. Thank you for explaining for some things. Well said! 😀

  10. Emotions are energy in motion. If controlled they are good but if you are in their control then that can cause huge problems.
    Great post Betul!

  11. I agree that when you suppress your emotions, it creates internal conflict. We need to learn to understand our emotions. I am also an emotional person. I am learning to be more in tune with my emotions and to go to root of my feelings ..so that I understand it well. the reasons and what I need to do.

  12. Hii ,I think I am in your category.. emotional . really sometimes I feel like I am very strange or so different from others . I am new in this field of writing so plz help me in this journey .

    1. It will feel like that. I used to blame myself for feeling different but then I tried to focus on my inner world. It took me years to get into the mindset that I will only focus on my inner world no matter what happens around me. But right now, I am happy that I stayed consistent with that. You try to do that too. You will see the results.

      1. Yes you are absolutely right ,I am also in this problem ,my family my friend circle ,all are considering me wrong but sometimes I feel like I am right but sometimes I get hurt by this situation who is right ?

      2. If something hurts, then you should just accept this no matter what people say and try to deal with it in a way that makes you feel better.

  13. Hi, I can totally connect to your writing. Special what you said about the teenage phase. I was in it. I have learned to control my emotions so far. But sometimes I feel numb at various occasions. So then I wonder may be I was been so hard on myself in the journey of learning emotion control. That it’s difficult to feel again.

  14. I know I am a very emotional person and add to that extremely sensitive-a dangerous combination if I cannot hold onto them and rather give them the reins of my every decision making. On the other hand, being emotional has also taught to be empathetic and weigh out the situation well. I usually have a lot more conversations in my head than with others and strangely the lockdown has given me more time to have meaningful conversations with myself, understand myself better and everybody around me, connect, reconnect with some and sever ties with some.

    1. Being emotional and sensitive is a double-edged sword. I feel you. But if you can make the bets of it, it is a really good combination. It helps you better understand people. Also, the lockdown has been very helpful to me too!

  15. This is an interesting post. You talk about your emotions in a very unemotional way. You analyze your emotions as a way of understanding how they work inside you. You sound a lot like a rationalist, yet you describe yourself as emotionalist. I’m extremely intrigued by the notion that you govern your emotions as a way of achieving self-knowledge. I’d also be extremely interested to hear you talk about how your emotional side and your very rational side (you are, after all, becoming a kind of scientist and a researcher, a person who is moved by data) interact. Does your emotional self take the edge off of your intellectual self or do you approach emotions as an kind of extension of your mind, as another way of “thinking”?

    1. That is a very interesting observation! I had not thought of this in this way. I think I tend to think my emotions and intellect as two separate parts of me. I have an emotional part to me, for sure. When I feel things, I do not try to prevent them. I let them go for a while. Then, I start thinking about them in the 3rd person. Why did this emotion arise? That is a major question I think about with each emotion and then I do the rational analysis. In the meantime, the emotion still continues. Usually, though, once I figure out the reason why it arose in the first place, that emotion goes away.
      That is actually a very good post topic and I will think about it. It is very complicated, though. How do you take your emotional and intellectual side?

  16. Love this post! We’re all experiencing this in very similar yet very different ways (if that makes sense?) I tend to block my emotions, not intentionally though, just life is busy and without realizing it they build up on me and then start spewing out. When I’m lucky I catch this before the massive eruption of emotions and can deal with processing the issue.

    1. I used to be like that too. But I didn’t like the explosions, so I worked on them. Now, I explode less often. Do you want to work on it too?

  17. Emotions become a tool to connect love that truth want to think about it more. Knowing emotions helps solve internal conflict✅ mostly since there are times I still need to figure out why I’m feeling a certain way which can be a battle as well. But yes once I know how I feel and why I feel that way it’s like a cure! Great points thanks

      1. Your welcome thanks for sharing your writing reminds me of why I love to write, since you give voice and words to what sometimes cannot be understood. I like how you said as a teen you didn’t have the tools to manage! Really great way to give it a name.

  18. Overall I’m more aware because I can’t shop when I’m emotional! I can’t hide in volunteering activity or at the gym interesting those are places I also connect with people in shallow ways. It’s become maybe an unhealthy coping mech. But now that I can’t do those things…I’m more aware

  19. Yes Betul, I can connect to what you’re saying because being emotional has made me realize my inner strengths and weaknesses in life’s upheavals. Down the lane, it’s up to us to make ourselves better through these very emotions in every way..So, THUMBS UP TO US!

  20. I like it! But if you don’t mind me adding something is the idea that quite often, negative emotions are not just trauma we experience in the past, but also a result of not having the courage to confront what we fear today. Things like these are the clues and footprints to who we really are and help explain who we want to be. I hope that makes sense while staying brief [:

    1. You are right! Sometimes, we cannot face a current challenge and that causes confusion, anger, sadness and what not. Thank you for bringing this up!

  21. I have never thought of my emotional side as a weakness, I think it’s something to treasure in this heartless cruel world. From childhood I was very empathetic by nature and I think that is the reason of my understanding other humans, their anguish and confusions. Anger is also an emotion and if you don’t open up about it, or suppress it it causes damage to you and those around you one way or the other. I studied Literature which further helped to connect to humanity and feel that I’m not alone.

    1. I always found emotions fascinating too and did not consider them weakness. It is just that they were hard for me to understand before and seemed random. But once you get a hold of them, it is a good way to form empathy. I did not study literature but emotions make me write stories.

  22. How wonderful that you have been able to grow in understanding and awareness of your emotions! I also am a deeply feeling person, a “feeler.” I cherish the ability to sense also what other people are feeling, which helps me to nurture them. 🙂

  23. It had harmed me. Never been so emotional. It’s exhausting, BUT with other things quarantine had helped me. Started working on my book and picked up poetry again. Poetry Is a nice way to channel my emotions. Thank you for this post! <3

  24. Well, I see real truth in here for the natural man.
    My years before and in High School up till the few months I spent after I graduated, I couldn’t just keep up with some emotional states. Several things made me scared and I couldn’t just comprehend the GOOD part of life (a perculiar life now).
    But there was this particular step I took and that has made me a living dead.
    It simply means I live but not me that lives.
    Another Being lives in me. So, my emotions aren’t mine anymore. Though due to a daily growth in this new life, I’m still yet to reach that point of perfection where I can boldly tell that I’m not me.

    Thanks Betul, this really fired up something in lives I’m sure.

      1. Oh! Thanks Ma’am.
        It’s great to know someone who’s got similar experiences and life approaches with me.
        God Bless You

  25. Reblogged this on Dana Ciolan and commented:
    Here I found an excellent article about how to deal with emotions and how to make them work for us, not against us. Thank you Betul, so valuable!

  26. Being quarantined can make a person feel disconnected with the world. Keeping you mental heath in line can become difficult. Most people are creatures of habit and need social interactions. I enjoyed reading you input. Stay healthy.

    1. I agree! On the other hand, though, there is some kind of a connection because we are all going through the same experience at the same time.
      You stay healthy too!

  27. I agree with you when you said “Emotionality has a taboo towards it. If you are emotional, that is sometimes considered weakness.” This is especially so in the workforce.

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