This week’s post is a collaboration post. Khizer and I wrote this post together. Go check his blog. If you like Pointlessoverthinking, you will like his posts as well. He posts about self-reflection, personal development etc. and he is very insightful at that.
Having said that, enjoy the post below and let me know what your thoughts are on the topic!
Do they get excited when you share good news with them?
When you get good grades?
When you get a promotion?
When you share your success story?
And are they there for you when no one else is around?
When you feel defeated?
When you suffer a loss?
When the world seems to be ending for you?
If the answer to both sets of questions is yes then you are in a positive environment, no need to worry. However, if the answer to even one set of questions is no, I believe it is time to consider new friendships and let go of toxic ones.
At times your closest friends and even family members are the source of toxicity in your life but you fail to realize just because you have been friends with them for X number of years of because they are family. This justification does not make sense at all. You have every right to cut off from people who do not add to your cause or add any value to your life.
This can be one of the most difficult things in life. But you got to do what you got to do. Take this moment to identify people who are not adding any value to your life. Then go ahead and delete them from your Facebook friends list, unfollow them on Instagram. Also be mindful of where you are spending most of your time at.
If you ask successful people, the most common answers would include places like the gym, office, parks, conferences, training or any other productive place. Rarely would you come across any who say they spend a significant amount of time watching TV or Netflix. They are well aware of the importance of their time and make the most of it.
Another major factor that shapes our personality is our very own nature we are born with. Have you noticed siblings that grew up in similar family patterns and yet turned out to have very different personalities? Although there might be an effect of the different times siblings grow up in, sometimes differences between siblings are too big to be explained by mere change in time.
Some people are born as extroverts while others are geared towards a more introverted nature. Some like lazy days while others adore work. Some are more artistic whereas others are more for academic-like studies. We all have our tendencies.
The important point here is that no one is fully an extrovert or an introvert. No one likes lazy days at all times without fail and no one likes to work all the time. Most of us fall somewhere in between. What we should do, then, is to make the best use of our tendencies while keeping the variation in us alive so that we do not become bland, single-sided person.
Say you have artistic abilities. You ignore this and focus only on academic work. This falsely-located focus will eventually lead to internal conflict, unhappiness and even depression because you will not be true to your natural tendencies. Instead, you can try to improve your artistic abilities all along. This way, you will be you. You will be as you were meant to be. In the meantime, do not forget your academic studies, since you will need them in life.
Yet another factor is our education. Education is supposed to bring out the best in you. It should feed your abilities so that you can make the best of them, which in turn helps you become more peaceful and contribute more to humanity. That is the ideal. The reality is that a lot of education systems cannot accommodate the diversity of the students they have.
So, if you are an artistic person, you are probably going to be challenged harder in an education system which focuses solely on hard-core science classes and grades. You will probably be labeled as shy or aloof. This seems to happen quite often across the globe. Likewise, if you are an extrovert, you might find it harder to contain your energy if your classes are all the sit-in type.
You might need a classroom where you can walk around and perhaps work on projects. If this is not possible, you might be likely to be labeled as a naughty student that doesn’t care about school. The best we can do as students is to at least have some side project where we can pursue our likes.
The best we can do as parents is to send our children to schools that will help them (which requires an understanding of the strengths of our children). The best we can do as teachers is to try to accommodate as many students as possible with various types of activities and styles of teaching. If these all can work together, we can get a better result.
You might want to read another article that Khizer wrote some time back on changing one’s self for the better: https://reasonstolivefor.com/changing-yourself-for-the-better/
Do let us know in comments some ways you have implemented for a positive change in personality 😊