“You are damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.”
― Nikita Gill
If you have read some of my previous posts you are aware that I did not have an easy childhood…but then who among us has? You work with what you have, not what you wish for.
I knew I was broken from a relatively young age. Throughout my journey I would often think that it was impossible for me to understand what “normal” is in relation to my interaction with the world. I would never really fit in. I was anchor-less and alone in this feeling of separation. When I thought too long or hard about it I could get into a fairly dark place. And yet I persevered by always putting one foot in front of the other – no matter how small a step I was able to take. In the past couple of years, however, there has been a deepening shift inside of me. I now understand that the struggles and challenges I have experienced and overcome in my life are part of what make me beautiful and uniquely me.
If we do not experience our own heartbreaks, betrayals, feelings of being cast aside or any number of other trials throughout our journeys, perhaps we would not be able to empathize and truly connect with other people. The cycle of pain and healing creates a commonality that transcends gender, race or country of origin. It is this connection with others that bolsters our humanity. This sacred connection between all of us motivates us to be better people.
Recently, though I am not sure where, I came across a picture of a piece of pottery that had obviously been broken and put back together. I couldn’t stop looking at the picture; I thought it was incredibly beautiful. I did a little research and found that it is called kinsukuroi or kintsugi. If you look up the translation of the word this is what you will find:
“Kintsugi (金継ぎ, “golden joinery”), also known as kinsukuroi (金繕い, “golden repair”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.”
In other words, you take something broken and the way in which you put it back together makes it even more beautiful than its original form. This idea that beauty lay in the brokenness was a revelation for me. It put into a new light the perceived negative aspects of our journey, so that I can now see the challenges as opportunities for transformation. How incredible is it that our lives are full of opportunities to overcome, be stronger, kinder and more compassionate?
Of course the other side of that coin is when we reflect upon the difficulties in our lives as being perpetrated upon us, we feed our minds with thoughts of being preyed upon and that we are unable to protect ourselves. When we get stuck in that place in our head, the broken pieces remain broken. There is no mending, there is no healing. We remain fractured and fragmented, unable to fill ourselves with the love and beauty that surrounds us everyday. We wait, often times in vain, for those that broke us to come and fix the damage they have done. We are so devastated at being broken in the first place that we are unable to see that the need – and the power – to repair the wounds is ours and ours alone. And by embracing this power to heal ourselves, we will only be more stable, substantial and beautiful than we were before.
What do we use to mend the broken pieces? If we try to repair ourselves using blame, anger and hatred, our efforts will be futile and can only serve to further shatter us. Love, compassion and gratitude are the gold and silver lacquer with which we can truly put ourselves back together. And in doing so, we allow the world to see how much more beautiful and strong we are for having been broken and healed.
We are all human and in that humanity lies our beautiful imperfections. Instead of denying these blemishes and flaws, if we learn to embrace them – and ourselves – with an open heart, we can bring to the world the very best and most beautiful rendition of ourselves.
“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness.”
― Shannon L. Alder
Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am so grateful!
If you enjoyed reading this post you can find my personal blog here.
That is such a beautiful piece of art✨
Thank you so much!!
Hello Danielle Davis, I just did a post on nurses. Can you confirm I can add your post to it?
You already have a reblog button, I may do a series from your post. A selection over time. Confirm this is also OK.
Cheers, myFWL Post
I would be honored if you reposted. Your post was very well written! Thank you 🙏🏼
Is there a way to share messages away from the blog. I need to get some coaching from you
Danielle.davis@thenursesheart.com
I would be happy to be your coach 😊
Hi Danielle! I love your writing. Its really beautiful and inspiring. A lot of us experience being broken that will eventually get fixed overtime through acceptance and forgiveness.
Hi Danielle Davis… ‘We Are All A Little Broken’ is going to be a recommended reading on this post .. https://myfunworklife.com/2020/07/21/the-thirst-for-a-meaning-is-it-in-a-zoom-party/
Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you 🙏🏼
That’s lovely Danielle, and really reonates with me. I have a blog of my own – would you mind if I added a link to this post in my next one?
This is my site, so you can check it’s ok – https://musinghouse.home.blog/2020/02/06/welcome-to-my-blog/
I would be honored if you shared it and I will definitely check out your blog! Thank you so much for reading mine💙
Thank you so much ( the post with the link is here – https://musinghouse.home.blog/2020/08/10/hiding-in-habits/ )
Thank you 🙏🏼
Beautiful post here Danielle. I too have experienced brokenness. I struggled all through my younger years. High school bullys, boys who broke my heart, mean people and so much more. What I hated the most about the process was that I was nice to all of these people, so they had no real motive for hurting me like they did. When I was young, my mind was young, I thought people were treating me so badly because I deserved it. I began to look down on myself and question my own worth. One thing I have learned in life is that everyone has an opinion and they think their opinion is the best. I find that many of the people who have become great in life have a habit of shutting out negative opinions and negative people. In my situation, I have filled my broken sides with God. I was shocked at how much I could actually tell God and how much he understood. He is our creator and he understands our struggles well enough and he has made provisions for us. A person going through life without God is like a person paying a heavy full price for an item while there is an open discount staring them in the face. It is with God that we will conquer the world and reach our promised land of true peace and joy.
For anyone interested, I will leave these Bible verses here:
Psalm 34:18 says
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
and saves those who are crushed in spirit”.
God says in Isaiah 41:10
“So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand”.
For anyone interested in building a relationship with God. I have a post on it here: https://christcenteredruminations.wordpress.com/2018/08/29/how-to-build-a-relationship-with-god/
God bless you 🙂
Such a beautiful perspective. Thank you so much for sharing it with me. My spirituality is something so deeply seated in me that it guides everything I do and say so I know what you say is true. Wishing you love and light always.
Thank you Danielle. I appreciate you.
Very well written Danielle Davis
Thank you so much, Debi!
I feel like a broken record or maybe it’s coincidence that so many posts lately remind me so much of my oldest who very recently and suddenly passed away Sept. 5, only 25 years old.
I’m not just saying this but, this particular post sounds very similar to a letter he wrote to me a couple of years ago. The letter was never given to me. I just happened to come across it in an old journal. My Jace had such a gift for writing. I wish so much that I could show this to him because I know he’d love this post…..I know this is how he felt at times being transgender and an addict. Although our family always loved and supported him unconditionally (through it all!), the rest of the stereotypical world can be very cruel no matter how loved and confident you may feel.
I wish I could like this post a hundred times…💛
I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your family to loose such an important person in your lives. I am so grateful you and I found each other so we could share this with one another. Sending so much love to you and your family💙
Not only so important to our family, every single person who was blessed to have crossed paths with him. I know I sound like a biased, grieving mother but, posts on his FB and just today I received such a treasure of things that were his that had over 20 or so letters from different people who knew my Jace. Every single letter, from all different people….all expressing such an overwhelming outpouring of love, hope, prayers and encouragement with his transgender transformation and recovery….they all made sure to express that their lives were changed for the better because of him. It kills me and makes my heart fill up with love at the same time. I’m going to try and post about this more later….hopefully. I’ll definitely get around to posting very soon if not tonight. I’m definitely going to post a picture of the pile of letters. It makes me so grateful and proud that he came from me, that I raised someone so special, that he was mine….and then I break because I can no longer tell him, show him these wonderful memories, remind him there’s so much more he has to offer and support him….to partner with him and make a difference, make change…show the world that addicts are more than the stereotypical stigma that shadows their path….that being gay, bi-sexual, transgender is courage and hope to be at peace within your own mind, spirit and body’s rightful being and ultimately fight the battle for equality for recovering addicts and the LGBTQ community. We are human, we err, we learn and we grow. Maybe not everyone of us deserve second or third chances and you don’t have to fall into the category of recovery or LGBTQ to be someone who may not deserve more chances. Like I said, we are all human, we all err, we all have flaws….it’s what makes us unique, different….human.
This is such a beautiful testament to a mother’s love and I look forward to reading your post. I am deeply honored that you are sharing your story with me, with all of us, through your heartbreak. I cannot begin to imagine the pain that you are felling and can only hope that I your sharing you find even a sliver of healing for yourself❤️
💛
Why should anyone forgive? There is no single reason, but this much is clear: harboring anger and resentment is physically, mentally, relationally and spiritually unhealthy. You should see this https://humanperformancepsychology.com/the-answer-to-all-your-problems/, thanks so much for you post, very inspiring!
Thank you so much for reading and your comment!! I will check the link out for sure!!