We Are All A Little Broken

“You are damaged and broken and unhinged. But so are shooting stars and comets.”

― Nikita Gill

If you have read some of my previous posts you are aware that I did not have an easy childhood…but then who among us has? You work with what you have, not what you wish for.

I knew I was broken from a relatively young age. Throughout my journey I would often think that it was impossible for me to understand what “normal” is in relation to my interaction with the world. I would never really fit in. I was anchor-less and alone in this feeling of separation. When I thought too long or hard about it I could get into a fairly dark place. And yet I persevered by always putting one foot in front of the other – no matter how small a step I was able to take. In the past couple of years, however, there has been a deepening shift inside of me. I now understand that the struggles and challenges I have experienced and overcome in my life are part of what make me beautiful and uniquely me.

If we do not experience our own heartbreaks, betrayals, feelings of being cast aside or any number of other trials throughout our journeys, perhaps we would not be able to empathize and truly connect with other people. The cycle of pain and healing creates a commonality that transcends gender, race or country of origin. It is this connection with others that bolsters our humanity. This sacred connection between all of us motivates us to be better people.

Recently, though I am not sure where, I came across a picture of a piece of pottery that had obviously been broken and put back together. I couldn’t stop looking at the picture; I thought it was incredibly beautiful. I did a little research and found that it is called kinsukuroi or kintsugi. If you look up the translation of the word this is what you will find:

“Kintsugi (金継ぎ, “golden joinery”), also known as kinsukuroi (金繕い, “golden repair”), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum.”

In other words, you take something broken and the way in which you put it back together makes it even more beautiful than its original form. This idea that beauty lay in the brokenness was a revelation for me. It put into a new light the perceived negative aspects of our journey, so that I can now see the challenges as opportunities for transformation. How incredible is it that our lives are full of opportunities to overcome, be stronger, kinder and more compassionate?

Of course the other side of that coin is when we reflect upon the difficulties in our lives as being perpetrated upon us, we feed our minds with thoughts of being preyed upon and that we are unable to protect ourselves. When we get stuck in that place in our head, the broken pieces remain broken. There is no mending, there is no healing. We remain fractured and fragmented, unable to fill ourselves with the love and beauty that surrounds us everyday. We wait, often times in vain, for those that broke us to come and fix the damage they have done. We are so devastated at being broken in the first place that we are unable to see that the need – and the power – to repair the wounds is ours and ours alone. And by embracing this power to heal ourselves, we will only be more stable, substantial and beautiful than we were before.

What do we use to mend the broken pieces? If we try to repair ourselves using blame, anger and hatred, our efforts will be futile and can only serve to further shatter us. Love, compassion and gratitude are the gold and silver lacquer with which we can truly put ourselves back together. And in doing so, we allow the world to see how much more beautiful and strong we are for having been broken and healed.

We are all human and in that humanity lies our beautiful imperfections. Instead of denying these blemishes and flaws, if we learn to embrace them – and ourselves – with an open heart, we can bring to the world the very best and most beautiful rendition of ourselves.

“There is no perfection, only beautiful versions of brokenness.”

― Shannon L. Alder

Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I am so grateful!

If you enjoyed reading this post you can find my personal blog here.

122 thoughts on “We Are All A Little Broken

Add yours

  1. Loved reading it .I relate to it a lot ,and I’m proud of myself for the person I have become because of the sufferings and pain I had.
    ““The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” Rumi.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Thank you for sharing such an engaging and beautifully written testimony, Ms. Davis! I have often said if it were not for the various trials in life, how would we ever recognize and appreciate the blessings given to us by God. The One who happens to be in the business of restoration when it comes to human brokenness. I like where you state that “love… is the lacquer with which we can truly put ourselves back together” because the Bible teaches us that “God is Love” in 1 john 4:8. The elements of compassion and gratitude are byproducts of that love we express to others. Anyway, your post was a joy to read from start to finish!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Very well written! The broken pottery visual was a powerful analogy. Your post resonated with me. A grateful reader and fellow blogger.

    Heartstringsandtailspins on WordPress.com

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very well expressed..
    Separation for whatever reason causes pain…moving on is not easy…the thoughts tag along. ..it takes lot of sincere efforts and a creative mindset to come out of the past and start afresh…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I am sorry Danielle! somehow, overlooked that the quote in the beginning is by Nikita and YOU are the author! Congratulations on a beautiful post.
        how does one contribute to Pointless Overthinking?

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol! No worries! Believe it or not it has happened before and thank you!

        I was invited by one of the writers, Troy, to guest write a piece for the page and after they invited me to continue. It is such a talented and diverse group!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. “We are all human and in that humanity lies our beautiful imperfections. Instead of denying these blemishes and flaws, if we learn to embrace them – and ourselves – with an open heart, we can bring to the world the very best and most beautiful rendition of ourselves.”

    Simply brilliant!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Love, compassion and gratitude are indeed having the power to put ourselves back together ❤️…you have beautiful written dear and the softness in every word was felt🍃👏👏👏👏

    Liked by 2 people

  7. At the end of the day, it all comes down to empathy really. Your post really resonated with me and put my feelings into words, better arrangement of words than my own effort in my last blog. I tried to explain something along the same lines but you managed put it beautifully and elegantly. Wonderful read! Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Thanks for reminding us that we can be beautiful despite our scars. I’m familiar with the pottery you used in your piece. I actually think those pieces would be fairly ordinary (mush less interesting, in other words) without the repairs. Most art teachers will tell you that there is great beauty in imperfection. It’s the flaws that add interest and make things real masterpieces. This lesson taught by these kinds of teachers are the type we all should learn.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, Troy. I agree with your thought about the pieces being ordinary before they were broken and repaired. I thought about that many times looking at the different pottery. The repair makes them so unique and beautiful.
      I appreciate you reading and commenting!

      Like

      1. It resonated very much. I remember learning about using gold to fix broken pottery while in school. I didnt really understand it then. And some days, depending on where I am mentally and emotionally, I still struggle to understand it now. But the way you related it to fixing ourselves made it sink in and make a lot more sense. You have a great day as well!

        Liked by 1 person

  9. These are such powerful realisations. Others can offer advice, and hope, and strategies to manage mental wellbeing, but if we are not open to beginning the process of healing no one can force us. We can be shown the way but we choose to walk it.

    Speaking the truth with love and grace isn’t always easy especially to those closest to us, but it is necessary for living a healthy life.

    Thank you for sharing more of your experiences in this thought provoking piece.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow, you have a unique perspective and you’ve written such a beautiful post. I think the current generation will be inspired by your words. ‘Humanity lies in our beautiful imperfections’… I mean my mind is blown!❤️
    I hope you are safe and happy:)
    Have a nice day!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I’m not sure if you are from North America. I’ve read in numerous articles that people have had difficult, bad or unpleasant childhood in the States and Canada..
    Before I relocated to Canada, I lived in Latvia for almost 50 years. I had a fantastic childhood. My parents had to work, it was soviet times, we had no access to any nursery or child care. I loved taking care of and teaching my sister. I did that since I was 5. We were most often just 2 at home, so, I became extra responsible very early.
    We did go on Sunday trips, had a great time in our own garden, we definitely enjoyed a lot and were not worried that money was extremely short. It was soviet times. One wasn’t allowed to go to other countries or do lots of things which people normally do.
    I adored my mom and very much loved my dad. The last year was the worst because mom passed away.
    I think childhood is a time when kid has to be a kid. I’ve seen in Canada how they don’t allow that. Kids have overloaded schedule and they’re always in competition. They grow up having zero life skills.
    The general trend is less and less people having common sense and life skills. One looks for instructions for everything.
    I feel somewhat upset reading about millions of bad childhoods. I am very privileged to have had fantastic parents, very honest and good family, extreme support from anybody in my family. We had to work very hard from very early age, but we also learned practically everything what person needs to be self-sufficient.
    Whatever childhood issues have happened, one has to focus on their own present life once they have grown up if they ever do.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so happy you had such an positive childhood! I am from North America and I agree with you, we have lost our way with not letting kids be kids. I appreciate all that I have learned and the strength I have gained healing from trauma.
      Thank you for reading and commenting on my post!

      Like

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