Pointless Overthinking

SnapDragon Speaks: On The Apology.

I’m sorry, yo. For a lot of little and not-so-little things.

. . .

I’m sorry for all the times I thought I knew better; I’m sorry for not realizing the limitations of my own world view.

I’m sorry for making To-Do Lists while you gave instructions I later needed.

I’m sorry for snapping when you asked a question I already answered.

I’m sorry for oversleeping; for rolling my eyes; for perhaps choosing words that are triggering.

I’m sorry for acting like I’ve never missed a Stop Sign, or needed an Attitude Adjustment, or forgot a friend’s Birthday.

I’m sorry for getting so caught up in work I forgot to have fun.

I’m sorry for being too lazy to move.

I’m sorry for not being more patient, more compromising, more of a Team Player.

I’m sorry for all the time I wasted, on trying to make people into people they’re not.

I’m sorry for being so weird about washing my face; for falling asleep during like every movie; for getting so angry at the state of the world that it bloody-well ruins the whole afternoon.

I am sorry, Dear Reader, for every fuck-up I’ve dealt along the line.

Because I have.

And because I will.

And because I’m a human being who has the best of intentions, and who sometimes just can’t get it right.

I love you.

I accept you.

And we’re gonna keep-on keeping-on, love.

In imperfect solidarity,

SnapDragon

. . .

Why is it so hard for us adults to admit our mistakes? Why is it so hard to truly accept an apology? When do we forget the Just-Say-You’re-Sorry-And-Move-On mantra of our childhood?

See you in the comments, friends. 🕊

. . .

SnapDragon is an educator, artist, and sucker for buying any and all handmade soaps.

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62 thoughts on “SnapDragon Speaks: On The Apology.”

  1. “I am sorry!” These three little words used sincerely and appropriately can often make things right again. Many of us are reluctant to say them. Thank you for reminding us, Snap Dragon! <3 Happy New Year!

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  2. I’m not good at the social game. I am far from perfect. I am not everyone’s cup of tea. Sometimes I feel like the proverbial bull in a china shop. The curse of Asperger’s.

    If I were to be sorry for everything I do wrong, every mistake, every time I did something that wasn’t appropriate, I wouldn’t have time for anything else. If I lived in fear of doing things that could possibly offend, I would be doing very little. I would go into hiding and go on a self-hate binge.

    Serious apologies are for my own shortcomings as a human. Lesser apologies are for the unintentional oops. I run out of patience when my “mistake” is just another person’s opinion of what I ought to have done.

    I am quick to forgive and forget the little unintentional slights that happen and I would appreciate that from everyone else. Intent- or the lack thereof – is everything. A tiny bit of instruction is always a better response than feeling insulted. But I’m not naive enough to think that will always happen.

    Just-Say-You’re-Sorry-And-Move-On is the perfect philosophy but many people won’t let things go at that. Their loss.

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    1. What a beautiful comment, Fred. I agree that we can’t do everything to please others, or we would get nothing done! Hopefully we all can strive to find a balance, and to always put our best intentions forward. Thanks so much for being here, friend. Happy New Year! 🕊

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  3. It’s so true snap dragon. We are terrible at saying sorry and equally terrible at forgiving. I wonder if it has to do with the way many of us have been raised? We expect our children to say sorry when they make a mistake but how often do we look them in the eyes when we have made a mistake? It seems that parents often assume a position of complete moral authority instead of teaching them that adults are just as fallible and also need forgiveness from time to time. Great post. I am sorry too. And I forgive you completely snap dragon! Wishing you a very merry Christmas, AP2 🙏

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    1. Thanks so much, AP2. I definitely want to teach my son that no one is perfect, even (especially?) adults. I never want to be too proud to admit my mistakes. I’m so glad you’re part of this community! A happy holiday to you and yours. 🕊

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  4. Beautiful post. We are trying our best, even when we are making our mistakes. It’s okay! I’m also sorry I can’t get some things right, like trying to control an outcome rather than accepting the situation for what it is.

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  5. Wonderful Post.It’s not easy for us adults to accept our mistakes and then say “I am Sorry “,though inside us we know we are wrong most of the times.On the other hand ,I am more into actions than words.We should make sure that when we say it , we mean it too.

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    1. That’s such an important point, friend. An empty apology is almost worse than no apology at all. Thanks so much for your comment. Wishing you a happy holiday! 🕊

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    1. Thanks for reading, Neil. I am trying to keep my inner circle of people ones who value acceptance and humility. People who are true friends. Thanks again for your comment. Happy New Year! 🕊

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  7. Honesty as you rightly point out is not only about doing the right thing, it’s about accepting we often don’t. Have a great Xmas and indulge yourself with those handmade soaps!

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    1. Haha, thanks Tony! I certainly will. And here’s to accepting our imperfect nature and trying our best in all that we do. Wishing you a wonderful holiday, friend. 🕊

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  8. Immediately I thought “hey, she’s describing me!” If we’d admit our own shortcomings as quickly as we recognize them in others there would be less to recognize. I’ll keep practicing the apologies.

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  10. So many of us refuse to admit we are or did wrong. Our pride gets in the way. I think that’s why “sorry” is hollow and meaningless. Apologizing is oftentimes obligatory. A socially accepted stopgap.

    We must truly feel remorse for our words or actions, and without being able to put ourselves in the other’s place, that it lost.
    Empathy is the key to saying you’re sorry and actually meaning it.
    Empathy is the key to having your apology honestly received.

    I loved this post and I thank you for it most sincerely.

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    1. And I thank you for your thoughtful comment, Robyn! I could not agree more: empathy is key. May we all show more of it in the days ahead. Thanks for being part of this community! Wishing you a lovely New Year. 🕊

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  13. Initially a person came to mind, after that I started thinking about myself…. Yes too true it’s so hard to say ‘Im sorry’ but it can make a difference if said sincerely x

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    2. So true: we’re quick to notice others’ imperfections… But how cool that you then look at yourself. I appreciate Snap Dragon’s post and your comment, m11bna. Thank you

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    1. That, unfortunately, is so very true. Sometimes we can only hope that time will lessen the pain. Thanks so much for your comment. Wishing you all the best in the new year, friend! 🕊

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  15. We all make mistakes. It’s owning up to them and learning to accept the forgiveness that allows us to grow.

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  17. Hi SnapDragon
    I must admit I am in different place to you. I am reminded of a story, on our 40th wedding anniversary my wife’s mentor/guru was explaining to a couple of ladies that one has to forgive oneself before forgiving others. I happen know (and agree) that she [the mentor] did not believe in free will. When the conversation lulled, I mentioned that if free will did not exist then there is nothing to forgive. Her reply was “Baby steps”. As it happens it is my wife’s friend’s birthday today.

    Anyway, if there is nothing to forgive, then there is nothing to apologize for either.

    Just a thought.

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  22. Ah… Heavy Question with an endless possibilities of answers depending upon experiences, scars, cultures, religious beliefs… basically personal perception of reality.

    My question: why can I be so excepting of other people’s flaws and so un-accepting of my own? 🤔

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    1. Great question, Angie! We can be so very hard on ourselves. May we show others, as well as ourselves, more grace as we ring in the new year!Wishing you all the best, my friend. 🕊

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  26. I love the honesty in this. I m a chronic over-apologizer (thats not even a word, is it?) But I m slowly seeing the difference between screwing up and just being my quirky self!

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  27. There is a place before the apology where in ones mind eye we see and feel what is about to occur will result in the need for it. It is in that place this year I’ve inserted the reminder that I cannot change another, I can only change myself. Now the challenge is to embrace it

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  28. I appreciate the apologies, though I’m not certain I’ve felt the grievances you apologise for. It takes strength to apologise honestly, and care to receive an apology well.

    Happy New Year, and I hope you also celebrate the times you’ve succeeded at being awesome too. ❤

    Reply

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