Random Thoughts, Self-awareness

SnapDragon Speaks: On Thought-Jelly.

Still Here, 2019. Paris. Original Photo by SnapDragon X. All rights reserved, yo.

Hi. SnapDragon here.

It’s been awhile.

And who knows why, really.

I mean, I do have a toddler. I tend to the house and home. I technically work full-time, although it’s more like a part-time, online gig at the moment. (No complaints. But it still takes up minutes of my day.)

And by the time I have an hour to myself–with a cat or two trying to squeeze onto my lap–I find my brain so preoccupied with options that I end up doing little tidbits of absolutely nothing.

Okay. . . that may be a bit dramatic.

But, my thoughts are a little something like this:

Oo. I should nap. No, I should run the sweeper. Or scrub the tub. Wait, no. Don’t I deserve a break? Let me skim through a magazine, or try to finish a chapter in the novel I’ve been reading for god-knows-how-long-now. Wait! I haven’t written a word of my own novel in over a year! And what about my paintings? What the fuck am I doing? And when was the last time I listened to an entire album?

And so it goes. My thoughts are a complete mess, like bits of gooey jelly on dirty fingertips.

And after I finally make a decision, like that a refreshing, pistachio-banana iced coffee is in order, I hear Baby Snap start to stir, and my window of opportunity has shut for another day.

Which, of course, is more than fine.

Because maybe my creative outlet is currently best spent with my son.

His curiosity. His precious smiles. His unbiased take on this sometimes unbelievable world.

So, here’s to another 24 hours, Dear Reader.

May we all find moments of sweetness.

Moments of laughter.

Moments of what it means to be human.

. . .

How are you, Dear Reader? How are you spending your days? Do you ever experience Thought-Jelly?

Gah head! Leave a comment. Let it out, yo.

. . .

SnapDragon is a writer, artist, and bookworm disguised as a person.

Follow her Two-Bit Musings and more on Snippets of SnapDragon.

55 thoughts on “SnapDragon Speaks: On Thought-Jelly.”

  1. Yay, Snaps: you’re human! You’re also a great mother if you can prioritize your bebbeh right up there, while still seeing the love payout Baby Snap is dishing up. There are some good reasons why there are so few female artists that are well-known out there, and while motherhood isn’t an Excuse, per se, it is also a very, very good reason for letting the more abstract creative outlets wait for a while. You know that stuff takes time and space; something radically in short supply with toddlers. The extra bonus is that the Short One will show you the World through new eyes, and that can only help your art, right? Um, when they are teens, prepare to drink more wine, is all I’m saying. Cheers, dears! 🙂

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  2. I feel the same most of the times…something that helps me get my brain on a calm mode is yoga and meditation…I know it’s out there so much, but I see how much I’m out of center even one day that I don’t do it…so I really recommend it:)

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    1. Oh, definitely! I had a little yoga DVD I used faithfully twice a week, but sadly fell out of habit in recent years. Hopefully I can get back to it soon! Thanks, friend. Be well. 🕊

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  3. Hey Snap 😃

    I absolutely relate to the doing “little tidbits of absolutely nothing”. I was feeling guilty that I alone, in a world trying to pick itself up from a pandemic, was doing a lot of nothing. I am glad to have company😂

    Reading is how I cope. I sneak in a couple of pages before looking up to ensure my twins haven’t began World War 3.

    It’s great to read from you, Snap 😊

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  6. All those options are a product of modernity. When I was a boy and had to walk 15 miles to school, uphill both ways, thru arctic blizzards and desert heat, the choices were more limited.

    You decide for yourself which you’d prefer. 🙂

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  7. I have that “thought-jelly” effect often, or, at least, I used to. Now when it hits, I do what comes to mind first and do as much of it as possible within the time allowed for such things.

    My youngest grandson is five so it’s been a while since I’ve had a toddler in the house. Still, I have vivid memories of my son during the couple of years of never-ending adventures with him. I absolutely loved those years. I hope your years are just as grand as mine were.

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  8. Ahhh Paris, you beauty!

    Thank you for the open note, been well and alive. Opened up even more to poetry readings, so really proud of time well spent. Welcome back 🙏😊

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  12. I completely feel you Snapdragon. As soon as my children are settled I often think about about the millions of things I could be getting on with. But then I decide that a cup of tea (or a beer) is a much better option. There is always tomorrow! Family first of course (that includes yourself). Wishing you well Snap 🙏 Out of curiosity how old is your toddler?

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  13. I laughed out loud when I read the paragraph on your thought-stream. 😂 Probably because it seemed so ridiculously familiar. Ha ha. Have a great day.

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  14. Glad you took the time to check in, Snap. Having a toddler is a bit like having a Taz – they’re constantly in motion, leaving things about, needing attention, and wondering at the newness of it all. Enjoy that magic through Baby Snap’s eyes – and when you have some down time – do you. Because if Baby Snaps sees you cleaning the tub or running the sweeper, he will learn that those are things that are normal. Maybe he could “help” in a safe way? Never too young to teach the young ‘uns how be tidy.
    So when the brain jelly hits (and honestly, who isn’t suffering from this right now?) go with it. Cuddle the cats. Take the nap. Throw some ideas at your novel or read what you’d like. It’s that thing about “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. Be well, stay safe, and cuddle that toddler!

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  15. Really honestly? It can take all day to do not a lot. I just don’t know where all those productive hours go to, but they fly by and before you know it another day is over. I dunno about having sticky jelly fingers, I seem to be rolling in the stuff from head to foot! 😂

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  16. I can totally relate! I am obsessed with time management and making the best use of my time. I have a list of things I would like to do if I have time, but when an opportunity comes up, where do I start? I think we need to find 5-10 minutes to jot down what we would like to do that would make us feel good when a chance arises. We need to list the options based on time needed, energy needed and how much happiness it would bring us. With that said, it’s great to write theories – I feel like my weekend flew by without much use…

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    1. These are great ideas, friend. While no one can do it all, we can try. And hopefully we can strike a balance between productivity and happiness. Thanks for being here, and for your comment! 🕊

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      1. Every time a weekend rolls around, I promise myself to dedicate a large chunk of time to making my art. I have two daughters who constantly demand my attention. This weekend, their grandparents came over on both days, so theoretically I should have had time to make something. It is now 10 pm on Sunday, I have not touched my art and all I have energy for is to sit on the couch and read. Oh well, at least it’s an activity that I enjoy. We can’t be too demanding of ourselves I guess.

      3. Yes, but I think there’s also a portion of inner resistance. I am a big fan of the book “168 Hours”, which gives practical advice on how to find time when we feel like we don’t have any. So technically lack of time is not and excuse. But we tend to use it as a crutch when deep inside we don’t really feel like doing it. I am guilty. I liked how in the book it suggests reframing “I don’t have time” into “this is not a priority right now”.

  20. Oh man I know what you mean! When my daughter was still napping 3x daily it was heavenly, I almost felt like it was too good to be true then the naps dwindled down to one a day and within a 2 hr period I felt so much pressure to either hurry up and relax or to hurry up and be as productive as possible. It was constantly racing against time… Most days I just succumbed to whatever I felt I needed most out of that day, productivity VS. inner peace. Luckily, some days productivity led to inner peace so that was like killing two birds with one stone!! You’re doing great!

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  22. OMG! My child is a Teenager and I have a full-time work from home job… and my brain does EXACTLY the same thing!! 🤦🏻‍♀️

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  23. Your description of your thoughts resonates with my soul. Up to the beginning of 2020 I used to have lots of ideas about what to do with my time, and doesn’t very little time taking action and *doing* them.

    I’ve somewhat managed to segment this part of my mind, and if I think of something to do I just do it.

    I’m not sure if that’s a possibility in your current world, but if you can action the first thing and follow it through?

    Your time spent with your son sounds blissful. Keep on with that, he’ll grow up good and inquisitive about the world with you around. ♥

    Reply

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