Self-Appreciation

Hello!

How is everyone this week? I hope it was a week worth remembering, or at least a week not to hate.

Today, I want to talk about something I started doing recently. I was surprised that I was actually not doing it. It is ‘telling myself good things about myself/appreciating myself explicitly’. In other words, telling myself that I love myself in different ways. I think self-appreciation is a way of self-love.

I thought I loved myself enough. But when I checked if I was actually telling this to myself, the answer was no. You know how it is. If you love someone, it is better to say it. I started telling myself appreciative phrases too, both when I am alone and when I am with friends and family. For example, I can now overtly say what I am good at, whereas before I don’t think I was saying my skills or talents overtly. I believe I am good at understanding people’s emotions and empathizing with them, also analyzing them. This comes very naturally to me. That is a talent. But I never put it out that clearly for myself to hear. It is important to do that for two reasons: One is that it makes you feel better when you appreciate yourself (because we tend to criticize ourselves) and the second is that you become explicitly aware of your talents and skills so you can use them. Note to self: Be careful not to take this to the ego-istical levels.

Weird thing, when I first started doing this, it felt weird. Awkward. But I am still trying to keep up with it.

Then I thought, did I actually love myself before now that I was not telling anything good about myself to myself? I don’t know. Maybe I did not. Maybe I still don’t love myself enough, who knows. Maybe I tried to love people more than I loved myself, which does not work. I think we can love other people as much as we love ourselves. Otherwise, love becomes conditional. We love other people so that they can love us back, possibly in the same way and amount. When they don’t, we become extremely disappointment. When the starting point is self-love and self-appreciation, we already give ourselves what we need so we don’t need to try to take it from people.  

Do you tell yourself good things about yourself explicitly? How does it make you feel? If you don’t, why do you think you don’t? Let’s discuss self-love and self-appreciation today.

Betul


91 thoughts on “Self-Appreciation

  1. I started a thing a while back I’d read about and ignored for years which is similar. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you, X.” I committed to it for thirty days and hated it. I felt ridiculous and stupid. For a bit. Then it got better and easier, and it did help me with liking myself. I don’t do it as consistently now, but I still do it when things are sinking, and it helps. This reminds me that I could get back to it more frequently: great post. Thanks.

    1. I definitely feel you. I think part of the reason why I didn’t do this before is because it felt weird initially. But it gets better and in fact grows to be really helpful.

  2. Absolutely resonates with me! This is in fact my reason to start blogging. It is all about prioritizing yourself and nurturing it with good thoughts and positive energy.

  3. I’m totally agree you thought, because while you want something, work something or decide something, have to appreciate of yourself. Because is yourself to giving you power, healthy to fight for this reality

    Whatever is successful or get lost something, don’t blame yourself. Always treat yourself very good. Don’t be said and feel lost. Because yourself always belonging with you.

    Like me, The people who depend on me have left me, and this place has no friends, living alone! Reluctantly have to live a life! So I started writing to encourage others and help people who are affected by depression. Because I am also a recovery from depression! Use my past experience to pull them out of their fear circle and bring positive energy to them!vSo a lot of subscribed readers on Facebook! I wonder how WordPress can attract Readership ?!

    1. Great points! We always have ourselves even when other people leave us. So, we have to strengthen ourselves! To do that, we should encourage, appreciate and love ourselves.

      The readership is honestly dependent on posting and interaction. Just post as you like and then read and comment.

  4. I’m totally agree you thought, because while you want something, work something or decide something, have to appreciate of yourself. Because is yourself to giving you power, healthy to fight for this reality

    Whatever is successful or get lost something, don’t blame yourself. Always treat yourself very good. Don’t be said and feel lost. Because yourself always belonging with you.

    Like me, The people who depend on me have left me, and this place has no friends, living alone! Reluctantly have to live a life! So I started writing to encourage others and help people who are affected by depression. Because I am also a recovery from depression! Use my past experience to pull them out of their fear circle and bring positive energy to them! So a lot of subscribed readers on Facebook! I wonder how WordPress can attract Readership ?!

  5. “Maybe I tried to love people more than I loved myself, which does not work.” Excellent insight! So true yet I consistently forget it.

  6. Sometimes the reader is one of the pillars of our spirit, why do I say that? If not, we’re columnists, just writing and posting. Who cares about the content of our article can really help. But as a few people say, good and bad reviews. That’s why we don’t care, at least we thank our article for letting people share it with another person that can help some people with depression, change their mindset and get them back to normal life. It’s also part of my mission.

    Don’t worry, be happy ! 👌

  7. I think self-love is underrated. Sometimes others may call you selfish for loving yourself… Maybe that’s why we feel awkward saying good things to ourselves?

    1. That is a good point! Yeah, somehow the society perceives it as arrogance. But it is not either or. We can appreciate ourselves without being arrogant.

  8. So amazing to find this here. I recently listened to a guided meditation on exactly this and I have been trying it out. It’s astonishing how good it feels to explicitly inform yourself of your own awesomeness. Not in a weird, hysterically narcissistic way, but in the way of the words you wish someone else would say. When you’re like, “huh, I wish someone would tell me that I did a wonderful job on that thing and by the way I look nice” and then realize, hey, I can tell that to myself. And have it be as impactful. So, thank you for verbalizing a skill I am practicing.

  9. Excellent piece, Betul. Thanks for sharing your story. This is a very important reminder, something we should all think about and practice more.

  10. “When the starting point is self-love and self-appreciation, we already give ourselves what we need so we don’t need to try to take it from people.” That is beautiful Betul. Self acceptance is something that needs to be practised. I started writing things that I love/am proud about myself in my journal every morning and every night. It makes me realise I’m not doing so badly in this life. Wishing you well Betul 🙏

  11. “Weird. Awkward”, as you say – yes, I am still trying to grasp the concept of this post, probably because I am somewhat immune to appreciation, in the sense I definitely enjoy it very much but my actions do not get boosted by it at all, because they are already in high spirits, by the content of work and its results. Self-motivated, I think it is.

    I do have a checklist of my skills however, especially those what I claim I cannot, thereby trying to build a fortress of comfort zone around me.

    As for self-love, surely yes – I recall having it in a strange way since childhood. For instance, when I was playing outside and suddenly had nature’s call, I used to say to myself, “Oh my feet, carry me home, as fast as you can,” imagining my feet were god-gifted private transport ! Indeed, aren’t they ? Later, as a grown-up, I’ve walked unusually long distances quite casually, without cab and without the initial diffidence – “that long!” except one question – “do I know the way ?”

    Not sure, if I have been able to answer your questions but surely I am rambling by now.

    1. This is great! I really love this: imagining my feet were god-gifted private transport !

      When we start looking into what we have, we start noticing what we have, we realize how much we have. I think that gives us a larger comfort zone too.

  12. I don’t know why but it feels like my inner voice was saying this all. I mean it’s so damn relatable and exactly the same. I am empathetic too and I also criticized myself too much but just like you I started self appreciation especially when I am alone because that’s when you criticize your self and hurt your self esteem. I don’t what to say but this post seems so relatable that I am actually speechless.

    1. We are on the same boat! It is good that it is relatable in a way but also I hope that we both learn to appreciate ourselves better and improve together

  13. I am kind to myself as I would be to others, something I have learnt to do. Loving these posts🦋

      1. Thank you but I hope not. We all need to be as kind to ourselves as we are to others, the world would become a much kinder place💙💙💙💙

      2. What a beautiful comment. Thank you, I hope we can all make a small difference 🦋💙🦋

  14. I try write a few positive things about myself each week especially on a morning. It really sets your day up right.

    1. That is a process too, but not one that is independent from loving oneself. Sometimes loving oneself brings in a better understanding of ourselves.

  15. I believe I love myself conditionally, as in I am as worthy as my achievements because this was how I was raised. I’m trying to love myself unconditionally and I know I can’t tolerate others until I tolerate myself.

  16. ..self appreciation..❤

    Can I borrow your 2min to check on my blog littlejinglejangle.wordpress.com
    Hope you see it 😊

  17. Thanks for noticing my blog, although it was basically flagging some research. With reference to this topic I’m reminded of the quote from the Buddha: “You, yourself as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and affection.” There’s actually controversy over whether this is really something the Buddha said, a poor translation, or what. But I still like it. My basic take is from self-compassion– what would you tell a close friend going through what you are experiencing? Say that to yourself.

    1. I think that is a really good quote, whether it belongs to the Buddha or not. Thanks for sharing. We indeed need our own love first and foremost. I like this!

  18. It can be so easy to think we need to be better can’t it? Reminding myself what I do well is something I have started doing more regularly over the past three years. It has really shifted my mindset into a more hopeful place.

    I am good at showing kindness, even in situations where I feel wronged or like there has been a mistake by someone other than me. It is in these moments we can learn a lot about ourselves, and how encouraging communication can really help.

  19. I share a lot of the same qualities as you it seems… i definitely didn’t used to love myself enough but its also hard to know when is enough without it becoming overbearing

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