Hello everyone,

I have not posted the last few weeks, sorry about that! It was the end of semester and I wanted to take a break and then a surprise happened. I had no hopes of being able to visit my home country this summer due to visa issues but boom, suddenly I am in Turkey😊 It was a pleasant surprise and I embraced it. Sometimes, unexpected happens out of nowhere. It gave me a lot of hope that life is beyond our limited perception and I can dream bigger😊

Since before my post on self-appreciation, I have been appreciating myself more and more and honestly, it feels great. Recently, I noticed one important where I congratulate myself more often than others: letting go.

I used to be very strict about my future plans as well as my daily plans. I mean, very strict. At some point, I started not liking this but I did not know where to go. Then I read ‘The Surrender Experiment’ by Michael Singer and that book gave me a perspective. Since then, I have been working on it and recently, I have been seeing the fruits. For example, when I learnt that the visa issue was resolved, I immediately booked my flight and left a few days after. I did not think twice about the fact that I am in the last summer of my PhD program and am going to be applying for jobs. I surrendered to what life served me and I am glad I did because now I am not only with my family but I also am able to do a lot more work than I was able to. I think visiting my parents gave me less time but more joy. Well, I need joy for productivity.

You can also see how surrendered you are with small things in life. For example, I brought my coffee machine from the US to Turkey because I became addicted to coffee (oh well). I was not sure if the machine would work because the voltage in Turkey is much higher than in the US, as far as I know. It did not. It was too much power for it and now it is not working. But it first happened, I felt no sadness and I just said ‘Oh well, things happen’. This, for me, is a sign of surrender. If you are not upset by everything, small or big, then you are surrendered.

So now, I appreciate myself for coming all the way from a very strict person to a better-surrendered person. I hope to keep this mentality because it is very relaxing and joyful indeed.

How about you? Do you tend to get upset by small things in life? How much do you feel you can surrender currently? How can you improve? Also, do you appreciate yourself? Just a reminder😊


49 thoughts on “Surrender

  1. Well honestly had a tough day but this post was just perfect.Appreciating oneself is something we often forget and I could relate to that part where you said that it is really amazing that life is beyond our limited perceptions.loved the post❤

  2. A great idea! An Islamic concept too: surrender to God’s Plan, and not necessarily to all of our own. Things will necessarily be surprising, will go awry from time to time. Surrender!

  3. The voltage struggle is real. I had the same problem when I lived in NZ for a time. I’m glad you were able to return home to recharge and find joy. I’m getting better of letting go of the things that aren’t in my control. The biggest challenge for me is people. I’m a fan, apparently, of co-dependency. I’m working on it.

  4. I think it’s upsetting when we continually downplay the big things and reduce their significance. I think big and small are simply different perspectives. It depends how much importance we associate with certain objects and actions. I’ve seen people not being affected by serious issues just because they ignored their own feelings and curtailed their thoughts to comply with the situation. I think this is a sure shot remedy for deep-rooted bitterness. And it’s this bitterness that makes people intolerant to many insignificant things. It’s a shift of emotions, the transfer of negativity.
    I try to stop myself from getting upset on matters not in my control. And also let go when it’s not an alarming issue. Have to draw the line on reacting. Humans love to wallow in such emotions. And self-appreciation does help in building a positive attitude. Thanks for sharing this. 🙂

    1. Thanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts! Yes, indeed, what is big depends on how we see things. That is where the language plays a role. Especially how we describe things

  5. I think what you are calling “surrender” goes by the term of Radical Acceptance in psychology. It is also a central theme of Zen Buddhism and Stoicism. You can see it express succinctly in the “Serenity Prayer.”

    “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

    In Buddhism, one would say that desire for that which is outside of you is the source of all pain. Or as Epictetus said, “Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle. Some things are within your control and some things are not.”

    You can buy voltage adaptors. I don’t know if there’s one available for adapting Turkish voltage to US voltage but remember that Google is your friend.

  6. I totally needed to read something as enlightening and soothing as this today. Thank you. I think I’ll have to get myself a copy of that book, that might just be the nudge I need to let go of my planning strictness/rigidity… I know it would be good for me to let go once in a while!

    Enjoy your time back with your family, I hope it brings you peace and time for healing growth. Luna xx

    1. Thank you for the good wishes and the nice words about the post:) You should definitely get that book. It changed my life by changing my perspective.

      1. Haha! Sure, I read part of that book last summer and it gave me a tremendous feeling of peace. At the time, I was worried about where I will end up, what I would do as a career. Now I know that when I get to that anxious state and feel the need to control everything, I can surrender and trust that the universe has my back! But that trust in the universe was definitely built over time, as I began to trust myself more!

  7. “I need joy for productivity” – That is extremely insightful and I think something many of us have forgotten in recent years. Lovely post Betul 🙏

  8. One of my favorite meditative strategies for surrender is to lay in bed or outside in the grass with open arms and legs and either watch the clouds or close eyes and imagine being in the center of the ocean in a rowboat in the dark night and trust that I will be taken where I need to go. It really helps getting into the vibe of sweet surrender, in my estimation at least.

  9. We spend a lot of time, energy, money, effort on acquiring things but often what brings a long peace is letting go. I’m happy for you that you have discovered this at such a young age. This, though, you must not let go. 😊

  10. Until about five years ago little things would dig at me. A sports team I support losing a game they shouldn’t, flatmates not cleaning things up in the house the way I would, that I felt like I was getting anywhere with writing or music because I didn’t have the time or mental capacity.

    Through a conscious decision to work at it, I started processing that emotion rather than trying to ignore it. This has allowed me to be more at peace with life, the expected and the unexpected, which gives more energy to pour into my creative pursuits.

    Thank you for sharing and these questions. 😊

  11. Thanks for this post. I am learning to surrender and working to appreciate myself, although that has been quite an uphill battle because I was taught I was never good enough. Still, forward progress is progress and I will keep plugging away. Best wishes and be well!

  12. I get really upset when things don’t go as I imagined and have a really hard time accepting things as they are! But I am going to read this book for sure.

    1. I was exactly like that but this book changed it for me. It gave me an idea about what kind of mentality I was trying to adopt and I started doing my internal work keeping that vision in mind.

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