Energy Saver

Hello! Wishing everyone a good Sunday and a good week!

The dominant topic this past week has been how to save energy for me. Namely, how do I save my energy so I can be a better version of myself? I have been thinking about this longer but this week was the action time. What did I do? I cut some people off.

I looked at everyone in my life and thought whether this person is helping or improving me more than they take my energy for no reason. I cut two major influences in this way and it was not easy. One is a romantic interest, who was just doing too little for me to be involved in. Intentional or not, it looked like bread-crumbing. So, I deleted that contact because I realized, I was using more mental energy for that than I would love to. Then, maybe even a harder decision was a close friend of mine. She helped me a lot in the past and then I helped her a lot. She was a great resource for me in many ways. But somehow, I felt like if I didn’t put in the effort to be in contact with her, we would not have been so close. So, I tested this and did not contact her for a while. Surprise, she did not, until she needed me to take care of her kids. Then, she contacted me. So, I decided that I do not want this kind of dynamic in my life. This second one was much harder but I think it was necessary (for this time, at least).

After all of this, honestly, I feel a lot more joyful and happy. I feel like all my energy stays with me at all times. Maybe this is the biggest step I have taken for my self-care.

Have you done things like this? How did it feel? What other things do you do to save your energy?

Betul

29 thoughts on “Energy Saver

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  1. My life is full of people who do not contact me. I have to do all the outreach and it always ends up on their terms.

    I am getting tired of being advised by my wife that I have to make the effort. I disagree. I figure I should not need to make *all* the effort and ideally I should be at around 50%. I don’t feel “used” so much as I feel “unimportant.” Those people eventually become unimportant to me.

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  2. Yeah, I did it to my late boyfriend. I admit that he helped me a lot to go through my darkest day and I also did my best to always be by his side. But, he can be over protective and selfish. There’s a time when he controled me too much and I don’t like this kind of attitude.

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    1. That is what I was like with my friend. She helped me a lot during my difficult times and then I her. But now, it does not seem like a good dynamic. So, you paid for each other’s help. If it does not help anymore or is making you feel worse, it is better to let go.

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  3. Yes, I did just recently. Thanks to the pandemic (a positive side I’ve realized), how communication is very important. Ever since the pandemic started, I haven’t felt my friend’s presence nor has she ever tried asking how I was doing. I know there are some friends who are not that active to chat/text but to me (I can forgive that but during a pandemic?!). She sent a group message last July just updating us that she and her boyfriend broke up but that was it. For me, communication is very important in a friendship. It’s a big part of how a relationship grows. I feel indifferent to her already. I don’t message unless she messages me first.

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  4. Well, I tend to allocate the amount of energy I have only to the things I feel important and reflective. I chose to neglect the close cousin contact that I had which was draining me emotionally and filled with loose talks. And I don’t regret for my choices.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have done similar things in my life many times, and I think I probably felt a lot like you did. It was conflicting, but in the end, I think it was good.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I used to spend time maintaining contacts. I no longer do so. I don’t want to be the person who keeps a contact alive anymore. If I am not in someone’s world, so be it. I find it much more interesting to become involved with new contacts and seeking connections with those who want to share the work of keeping friendship alive.
    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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